CHAPTER 1 – AND SO IT ENDS & BEGINS
“It’s
been 1 year since my life changed completely but it was a change
I’ll treasure forever, it was the best year of my life.
That single year changed my life, it changed me, it changed the
way I saw things and felt things. Now everyday that passes
I’ll bless that year for showing me how fragile and amazing
life is, and how to treasure a memory for a lifetime. I can
remember, as if it were yesterday the day I met her, she was like
an angel, and so she is. It’s amazing how you can
spend your life searching for something, yet when you find it you
can loose it so quickly. My love for her will never fail,
never change, never tarnish and never ever die, she was my
friend, lover, teacher and angel
Kevin”
~1 YEAR AGO 28TH JANUARY 2001 ~
“Serena there’s still more we can do, another round of chemotherapy then –“
“No” Serena interrupted “I’m tired o fighting, John, I’ve done your chemo I’ve done your antibiotics, I’ve done it all and for who? For what? I’ve given up John I’m tired of fighting a loosing battle.
“Serena you should never give up”
“I gave up a long time ago. Now how long do I have?” she inquires looking down at him, her eyes demanding truth
“A year” he whispered hanging his head.
Serena not only was his patient but he counted her as his own daughter. Her parents had died along with her older brother in a head on accident with a drunk driver, Serena was only five and at home warm and snug in bed, with the babysitter down stairs, after the accident Serena had moved in with John Cutter and his family and been classed as one of them ever since.
Serena stood up and flashed a brave but fake smile.
“A year” she repeated solemnly
Her heart sank, she’d be 24 next year, she thought for a moment whether she’d make it or not. She walked over to the door, John taking her arm spun her around.
Tears filled in his eyes.
“Don’t give up Rena, I’m begging, we’ll fight this”
“I’m tired of fighting, I’ve put down my weapons” she quietly replied, removing his hand gently from her arm and walking out the door.
She walked through the doctors surgery with such ease as though she was simply a gust of wind, she met no ones stare and continued out the door, and never looked back.
She subconsciously walked over to the park and sat down on the bench facing out to the rippling pool, she watched in ore the sun reflecting it’s crisp rays onto the mild blue colored water. She crossed her legs underneath her and pulled her sketch pad and pencil and looking out into the crowd of people she focused on a young mother, perhaps 25 she thought, bottle feeding a small child which lay helpless in her arms, she placed pencil to paper and began to draw.
Serena was a young 18 when her life was changed forever, she was diagnosed with Cancer, it crushed her fragile existence with an iron fist, she dropped out of school and spent a year wallowing in self pity and confusion, she’d since nurtured her passion for drawing, and was known for her life like drawings and emotional paintings. She lived alone, and preferred it that way, in a small apartment in Orlando, Florida.
She ran her fingers through her ear length brown hair, she was thankful her hair grew back rather quickly, she hated the wigs she wore after chemo and was glad to have her natural hair back. Her deep blue eyes searched the mothers face intently recreating the feelings with a few flicks of the pencil.
“Rena” a voice called from behind
“Talia, what are you doing here?” she questions spinning around
The slender blond with the olive skin slid along the seat and embraced her friend, a tear sprung from her eye as she pulled away.
“Dad told me” Natalia whispered
“Whatever happened to patient confidentiality” Serena remarked slightly laughing to liven up the mood
“How can you give up? Do you remember when we were 10?”
Serena slowly nodded. She did.
“You promised me that as the slightly older one, you wouldn’t leave me, you’d be there whenever I need you, I need you know Rena, you’re my best friend, I cant loose you, please don’t give up”
“Talia, I’m fighting a loosing battle, sometimes it’s just not worth it, you get tired of fighting, I’m tired, please understand that”
Tears welled up in Natalia’s round brown eyes, she was a little taller than Serena thinner too, with soft blond locks, blue eyes and full rosy lips, she was the same age as Serena but had always retained her ‘cheerleader like’ looks.
“Okay” Natalia quietly replied
“I understand” she continued wiping a stray tear
“That’s what I need you to do” Serena remarked
“You have to do everything you’ve always wanted to, go out live for the day, have fun do things you were always afraid of doing, don’t drown in self pity”
Natalia stood up and quickly kissed her best friend – soul sister as they called each other – on the forehead, and offered a sweet smile.
“You’re the most amazing person I know – promise me you’ll go out with a bang”
With that she walked away leaving Serena in a trance of her own thoughts.
“Live for the day” she repeated
“I promise” she whispered into the wind