Kevin sat staring at the IV placed beside Serena’s bed. It beeped unawares of the surrounding world, completely oblivious to his pleas for her to wake up. Her face was pale and seemingly lifeless, she’d shown very little movement, she’d moved slightly under the clean white sheet on the hospital bed, but other than that, there’d been nothing.
He pushed her hair back from her face, and studied it closely. She was thinner than the last time he’d seen her – or maybe it was just now he was noticing. He closed his eyes and wished a quick prayer that she would wake up.
Serena’s eyes slowly flickered open, she closed them tightly then opened them again adjusting to the light piercing through the hospital window. She looked around and her heart sunk at the realization she was back in the place she loathed so much.
“Serena” Kevin mumbled looking across at her
She blinked twice making sure she wasn’t imagining the face next to her.
“Kevin” she replied with a quick strained breath
“I was so worried about you” he continued smiling lovingly
She turned her face away from his smile.
“You don’t need to worry, we’re not together anymore remember” she muttered
“I’m not leaving you” he announced taking her hand into his
“Kevin, I’m not your problem to try and solve”
“I swear to you, I’m not leaving you Ser, I’ve never felt like this, and I know we’re meant to be, I'm not going to question what my heart and my head tell me”
“What do they tell you?”
“I love you”
The doctor strolled into the room and straight up to the bed.
“Serena, glad to see your awake, but not glad to see your back here”
She recognized the doctor, he was the one she’d seen earlier. This time, however he was wearing a nametag Doctor Mark Shaw it read.
“Doctor Shaw” she replied with a stiff upper lip
“What do you mean ‘see you back here’?” Kevin questioned
“It’s nothing Kevin, now if you don’t mind, I’d like to leave” Serena responded
“Sorry no can do. Serena you need help, and this time I'm not letting you just go, that is the second blackout you’ve had in such a small space of time”
“You cant force treatment on me”
“You’re not on treatment for this?” Kevin inquired confused
“I'm sorry I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Doctor Shaw, a friend of Doctor Cutter, Serena’s father, we’re both very worried because Serena refuses to have chemo for this Cancer, leukemia which is indeed spreading” He announced finally taking notice of Kevin
Kevin looked across at Serena his eyes shinning with confusion. Didn’t she want to live?
“You make it sound like I’ve never tried it Dr Shaw, and you’re mistaken. I’ve been on Chemo, for longer than I care to imagine I have tried all your little answers, and none work. I’m tired of the whole thing” Serena sighed
“Could you leave us for a while?” Kevin pleaded looking up at Dr Shaw
He nodded, then casually left.
Kevin leaned down and kissed Serena’s cheek.
“I'm sorry” he whispered
“For what?”
“For not knowing everything you’ve been through, for not been there when you needed me, for been selfish. Serena you’ve had a hard fight, and I’ll stand by you, no matter what you choose”
“But?”
“But – maybe you should consider going back for more chemo, just to find your strength, don’t let it win over you”
“Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong”
“You owe it to yourself to not be beaten, or go down fighting”
“Will you help me?”
“For always”
“I don’t want to give up – I just didn’t have anything to live for, but since you came along something told me that I don’t have anything to die for either”
“You’ll get some help?”
“If you’re holding my hand”
He clutched tightly onto her small hand pushing her palm against his.
~ 1 WEEK LATER – 9th APRIL 2001 ~
Doctor Cutter had managed to slot in a Chemo treatment for Serena a week after she told him she’d do another course of treatment.
She sat nervously tapping her foot on the floor she hated the wait. Kevin appeared from down the corridor a can of drink in his hand. He sat down next to her, and subconsciously grabbed her hand into his. She dropped her head onto his inviting shoulder.
“Miss Cutter?” The slim receptionist inquired
Serena stood up, took a breath and walked over to the desk.
“This way” she smiled
Serna gathered she must have been new, everyone used to know who Serena was.
Kevin stood too, and approached Serena. He smiled and promised without words everything would be okay. She smiled thankfully and after a quick hug, she disappeared down the hall.
~ 3 WEEKS LATER – 30th APRIL 2001 ~
Serena pulled herself from her dozey state flicking her eye lids up to attention, they quickly fell back down shut. Her head was dizzy and felt heavy. It had been her third dose of Chemo so far, once a week she went through the same thing. She coughed loudly and forced herself to open her eyes.
“Hey” she muttered with a croaky voice
“Hey you” Kevin replied running his hand down her face
She coughed again then reached for the water – her mouth was dry.
“You don’t need to be here” she announced sitting up in the bed
“Yes I do, I swore to you I'm not leaving, and I meant it”
“Kevin you have a life outside of me. What about the band?”
“What about them?”
“Don’t you have songs to rehearse?”
“They’ll wait”
He stood up and reached up to her forehead gracing it with a tender kiss.
“You too good to me” she smiled
“You’re so good for me” he replied running his hand down her arm
“Can we go for a walk?” she questioned with intent eyes
“Are you up to it?”
She nodded slowly and flicked her legs out the side of the bed. She placed her feet down on the cold lino. Kevin quickly raced around to her side, placing her slippers by her feet. She propped herself up against him, and slipped her feet into the slippers.
“You sure you’re okay?” he questioned again
She nodded again as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they headed down the corridor.
~ 4 DAYS LATER – 4th MAY 2001 ~
Serena tucked her legs under herself as she sat watching some soap opera which really held none of her interest. She flicked through the channels but decided it was the better of the lot. The sound of the ringing phone alerted her and she sprung from the sofa.
“Hello?” she announced picking up the receiver
“Hey gorgeous” the familiar voice replied
“Kevin, you have no idea what I even look like right now” she said smiling down the phone
“I can imagine, and in my head you look gorgeous” he laughed
“You imagine me now?”
“All the time”
They both laughed a little.
“So what can I do for you?” she questioned
“I have to go away again” he replied
“Oh, where?” she inquired disappointed
“Promo tour to the pacific regions, Australia and so on”
“Sounds fun”
“Ser I promise I wouldn’t leave you”
“Don’t be stupid, you have to go, it’s your job”
“Come with me?”
“I cant”
“Why?”
“I have things keeping me here – you know that”
“It’ll only be for about 3 to 4 weeks, surely you can have a break. I really want to show you the world”
“I have never been out of the states”
“So you’ll come?”
“I don’t know”
“Please”
“Don’t beg”
“I will if it’ll work”
“I don’t know Kevin – I mean I'm not really up to been in the public eye”
“What do you mean?”
“I'm a little self conscious about the whole hair thing”
“You have hair”
“Not much”
“I love it”
“You have to say that”
“Ser, for real, you look amazing, but if you don’t want to, nobody need’s to know who you are or if you’re even there”
“Promise”
“Promise. You’ll go?”
“I’ll see”
~ 21 DAYS LATER – 25th MAY 2001 ~
The tour was set to leave in about a 2 weeks, the preparations were heavily on their way to completion. Serena had spent countless afternoons watching Kevin and the others perfecting their routines, she seen them sing classics like “Larger Than Life” more times then she cared to recall.
Kevin bounded off the stage for another break, as the others went their separate ways.
“All ready to go?” he questioned with childlike stamina
Serena shrugged.
“I guess” she replied
“Gee don’t sound too enthusiastic” he laughed
She smiled, then wacked him playfully across the arm.
“I'm scared of flying you know that” she stated
“I’ll hold your hand all the way” he smirked