~ 2 WEEKS LATER – 21st AUGUST ~
Management weren’t particularly happy with the idea of Kevin taking a vacation, but he was determined and they knew whatever they said he would go.
“It’s so pretty here” Serena sighed looking out to the snow capped mountains
“Isn’t it” Kevin replied throwing another piece of wood onto the blazing fire
Serena snuck along beside him, running her feet along the soft pure wool rug laid in front. She kissed his neck tenderly as her hand rubbed against his back. Kevin moved his neck slightly so his lips met with hers. The kiss was sweet and sensitive, gliding in passionate rhythm.
They broke away both sets of eyes reflecting the light form the crisp fire, neither one wanting to say anything for fear of ruining the very essence of the moment. Kevin’s hand slipped down her neck to the top of her zip on her jacket. The crackling sound of the zip echoed through the log cabin. He slowly pushed it off her shoulders his eyes studding the body he’d craved for, for so long.
His lips met with her shoulder sending a shiver of passion up her entire body. She sunk into his kisses, allowing his to work away devouring her skin. His hands moved under her top skating delicately across her warm skin. With ease he pulled her top up over her head discarding it to the side of them. He lay her back, the tufts of the rug tickling her back.
“Let me love you” he whispered
She looked up at him with intent eyes, then smiled in response.
His lips worked their way down to her naval refusing to remove themselves form her skin. His hands carefully removed her clothing, dropping it to the floor like discarded rubbish. His hand skidded all over her body, tracing her body like a Braille map. She played with the zip on his pants, luring him into a state of fiery passion. It wasn’t long before he entered her, she gripped at his back anxiously as he drew in and out. Their bodies melded together as inflamed calls filled the once silent air.
Time flew by and with the calls of release they dropped apart, still captivated by the other, gazing into the eyes – a stare they couldn’t pull themselves away.
~ 2 MONTHS LATER – 6th OCTOBER 2001 ~
Life had been floating happily by, recording had begun on the new album, so Kevin was at home more than ever, though most of his days were spent in the studio, Serena craved the nights, like an addiction, because they were together alone.
She’d sporadically been in and out of the hospital, but only for check ups and the occasional chemo, though even the need for that had been dropping rapidly. Everything seemed to be beyond perfect. However she had decided to keep quite about the ongoing headaches she’d been having, along with the occasional blackouts and series of cramps and pains all over her body, she wasn’t going to ruin something that was going along perfectly.
~ 2 DAYS LATER – 8th OCTOBER 2001 ~
Serena looked around the crowded shopping mall, the loud voices of the people around her faded into the background, her vision blurred in and out, she turned to Kevin trying to make out his face in the fuzz, but to no avail. Her head pounded relentlessly, something was wrong, very wrong. She screamed out, as a black blanket was thrown in front of her face.
“Serena honey are you okay?” Kevin inquired noticing her eyes flickering open
She looked around, and sighed loudly, she was back in the place she’d been longing to avoid – the hospital.
“God I'm sorry” she muttered trying to sit up
No matter how hard she tried, her body wouldn’t obey her desire to sit, it was as though she’d gone completely limp, all movement, all feeling had vanished.
~ A MONTH LATER – 10th NOVEMBER 2001 ~
Serena watched the birds out the window with longing for what they had – freedom. She’d not left the hospital since that day in November, she couldn’t. her body had turned to Jelly. She squinted in disgust at the IV pumping fluids into her arm. She would hear the doctors talk at night, about how she was going down hill rapidly, but during the day there was a chorus of ‘You’re looking better today’ echoed through her room.
“Hey babe” Kevin smiled as he stepped into the room
“Sorry I'm a bit late, press conference ran overtime” he added holding yet another bunch of flowers.
Serena turned her head away in self-disgust.
“Ser? How are you today?” he inquired sitting down beside the bed, in the chair it seemed like he spent most of the last month in ‘The doctors say you’re doing better, you’re looking better” he whispered bushing back her ear length hair.
“Well they are full of shit” Serena finally answered
“Look I know you’re not feeling so good right now, but you’ve got to keep your chin up”
“Kev, why are you still here? You deserve better than this”
“I want you Ser, hasn’t that become obvious?”
She turned her head away again, burring in the sanctuary of her pillow. Kevin touched her cheek gently pulling her face back to look at him.
“There’s something I need to ask you” he whispered
She looked at him, and nodded signaling him to continue.
“Serena” he said taking her hand into his “Will you marry me? Because I don’t want to go through life, knowing I had the most amazing person and I never left her know, I need you to know, and I want the world to know, marry me Serena, marry me now”
~ 2 WEEKS LATER – 23rd NOVEMBER 2001 ~
For some reason all ability to think logically or carefully had been swept away from both Serena and Kevin, they were each other’s lives nothing else matter. Since that day 2 weeks ago, Serena was determined to walk down that isle, not to go down it on a wheelchair. Kevin had insisted on a quick wedding, saying he didn’t want to waste a minute. Even though refused to face the fact, they both, deep down, knew their life together probably wouldn’t be for that long. But now, more than ever, Serena was determined, and as many people have noted determination is an amazing thing.
The day had come. The church slowly began filling with people, some of whom Serena knew, others she’d never met before.
“It’s almost time” someone announced as Serena and Natalia along with some others sat waiting in one of the rooms off to the side. Serena had decided she only wanted 1 bridesmaid, and Kevin had chosen his brother for his best man.
The music started u through the sound system as Kevin waited eagerly by the front of the church. Everything seemed to have rushed so quickly past him, time had no relevance to him anymore. Sure people had said that it was too soon, that he should wait. But he’d spent his whole life waiting for something like this, and he would never regret it, not for a second.
John held tightly onto Serena’s arm, as he walked her out to the door.
“Just lean on me if you need to” he whispered into her ear
She stood straight determined to do this on her own steam.
“I’ll be fine” she smiled
Everything seemed like a blur of happiness as she walked slowly down the isle and onto Kevin’s arm, it was like been in the most amazing dream.
“Dearly beloved we are gathered here today……..”
Words fluttered by her, and without a thought she said the words she’d been practicing, and were forged in her heart. It was like an out of body experience where she looked down on herself from high above, it just all seemed so magical.
~ A MONTH LATER – 25th DECEMBER 2001 ~
The Christmas tree sat majestically in the corner of the room, as Kevin and Serena sat on the couch, engrossed in each others arms.
They’d only been married for a month, though it seemed like an eternity of pure bliss. Serena was getting worse, she knew that, yet she refused to believe it.
“Isn’t this perfect? I’ll never regret this” Kevin smiled kissing her forehead
“You better not” she laughed
~ A MONTH LATER – 30th JANUARY 2002 ~
Serena’s dream had come crashing down at a rapid rate. She’d been admitted back into the hospital and both her and Kevin, knew this was to be the last time. Her face was pale, her eyes dreary and tired looking. She was thin beyond recognition and practically looked as though she was dead.
“It’ll be okay we’ll get through this” he smiled trying his hardest to be hopeful
“Kevin” she whispered, as that was all she could muster “Thank you, thank you for giving me something I never thought I could have, something that I thought only existed in fairy tales, thank you for loving me, and showing me what love is, I’ll always treasure you, and what you’ve given me. But you and I both know” she paused allowing the tears to form “This is it, my fairy tales coming to an end and I need you to promise me something”
“Anything Ser, anything”
“You’ll not become one of those morbid men, who never live, I want you to live life Kevin, live it as best you can, do things you’ve always wanted to do, don’t let life slip you by, live for you, and live for me”
“I don’t know if I can go on without you” he sniffed droplets forming in his green eyes
She lifted her hand slowly needing all of her energy to do so.
“Yes you will. I always be with you”
She shifted across the bed a little and beckoned him to come closer.
“Please hold me, I want to be in your arms” she whispered, her words choked with tears
Kevin slipped onto the bed, enveloping Serena’s body with his. Her head dropped onto his chest, her small body leaning up against him for support. He gently kissed her forehead and rocked her gently, as the night faded away.
~ AN HOUR LATER ~
Kevin’s vision was blurred with tears, he knew she’d gone, he knew she’d left him. But still he held her, tightly, warmly, lovingly, too afraid to let her go. The room was silent, the air stale. She was gone.
~ BACK TO PRESENT DAY – 3rd FEBRUARY 2002 ~
“It’s
been 1 year since my life changed completely but it was a change
I’ll treasure forever, it was the best year of my life.
That single year changed my life, it changed me, it changed the
way I saw things and felt things. Now everyday that passes
I’ll bless that year for showing me how fragile and amazing
life is, and how to treasure a memory for a lifetime. I can
remember, as if it were yesterday the day I met her, she was like
an angel, and so she is. It’s amazing how you can
spend your life searching for something, yet when you find it you
can loose it so quickly. My love for her will never fail,
never change, never tarnish and never ever die, she was my
friend, lover, teacher and angel
Kevin”
Kevin dropped the pen onto the paper, and sighed longingly. Today was the day he would scatter her ashes as she wanted, he would take her alone to the place they grew to love together, to his own sanctuary, to the cave, along the Cliffside where the waves crashed against the rocks. Where strength met strength is where she would lye.
The beach was as usual only scattered with a few eager beach goers, but once again they stuck to the far side, wrapped in their own world to even notice anything.
The walk along the rocks was silent and calming the small china vase in his hands held tightly against him. He sat down, the sound of the waves providing a melody to his ears. He kissed the side of the covered vase delicately, then walked to the very edge, the sea spray scattering across him. He removed the lid and sprinkled the ashes slowly into the blueness of the water.
“I wish I
could bring you back, I’d do anything to hold you again, but
I know that’s not possible, I know that cant happen, thank
you Serena for showing me everything that is pure and perfect.
You were my lover, my friend, now please be my angel” he
whispered as the ashes mixed in with the crashing waves.
If
only you didn't have to go
If only I could hold you tonight
I'd love you for a lifetime
I'd hold you so tight
You were more than I wished for
More than I thought I could find
You're a lover, a friend
You the angel of mine
PRE CHORUS
If I could have just one wish
I'd wish for you tonight
If I could dream for one thing
It would be just one more night
CHORUS
You were everything I wanted
But never knew existed
You were everything to me
You were what love was meant to be
So please just give me one more night
I need to share it with you
Just one more night
To see me through
That's all I need to make it right
Please, baby, just one more night
I never knew what love was like
Till I saw you standing there
You showed me how to love
Showed me what it was like to care
I know that heaven is the place for you
Someday I'll meet you there
And I know you live in my heart
To protect me form fear
PRE CHORUS & CHORUS
I'm so scared to face this world alone
Afraid of loneliness and pain
Too afraid to face the storm
To battle my tearful rain
I know you watch over me
Like the angel you always were
My lover this is dedicated to you
This song is dedicated to her
CHORUS x 2
(In soft whisper)
If I could have just one wish
I'd wish for you tonight
If I could dream for one thing
It would be just one more night
Just one more night
One last time to cry
Just one more night
One last kiss goodbye
Just one more night with you
© V.C 2000