Chapter Three: More Than Words

It was seven on the dot when I sat down in the chair they had provided for me. I crossed my legs and took my recorder out. I did the usual routine of asking for permission for the recorder and the questions I had to ask. Also the permission for a photo from Phil. The five men sat intently at a table and all stared at me. This was my first encounter with Howie and Kevin. Howie wore a wife beater similar to A.J.'s with black jeans. His hair still in a slick ponytail as it had been many years ago. His goatee lines his face perfectly as his deep chocolate eyes were fixed on me. I glanced at Kevin and at his muscles that were bulging out of his tight Armani grey t-shirt. His hair shorter than I had ever seen it and his green eyes piercing as usual. He smiled casually at me when I sat down. Next to Kevin and Howie was A.J., then Nick, then Brian.
"Good evening gentlemen. My name is Kate McBride, as you know I'm from the New York Times. Feel free to give me any comments you want New York to know. I'm going to conduct a brief interview and I'd love to meet with each of you individually if you have time. And if you could, posing for a few snapshots would be wonderful," I began. They fixed their eyes and ears on me.
"Go for it Kate," A.J. answered as they all smiled at me.
"This is your fourth sold out tour since you formed the Backstreet Boys. Are you at all tired of success or are you still handling it well?" I asked, looking at each one of them for an answer.
Kevin sat up and looked as if he was going to be the first one to take my question. "I think that we've been going and going so much the past ten years that we're just use to it. It seems to get easier over time. We didn't expect to have such a life, or our music to have the life that it does and so we're just considering ourselves lucky that we still have fans that are so dedicated and love us a lot. I think we get tired a lot in this business, but we love what we do," Kevin's voice echoed through the room. His accent still warm and kind like it had been last time I heard it so many years ago.
"When's your last date on this tour?" I asked.
"Next Friday in Florida. We're going home as usual to perform. Then we'll be off for a bit and then probably work on the next album," Brian answered, folding his arms under his chest and crossing his legs under the table.
"How do you guys like New York?" I casually asked, searching for commentary for my article.
"Oh we love it here," Howie replied.
"I was raised here for a while, so I always enjoy coming back," Nick answered. I looked at him. I promised myself it was suppose to be just a glance. But my gaze turned into a locked stare between him and I. I couldn't move my eyes from his.
"It's pretty great here. The fans are unbelievable. The shopping is awesome too," A.J. added. His voice broke my trance.
"What do you think when you hear so many young girls tell you how much you've done for them? I watched an interview with you one time many years ago and a girl told you about how she would have killed herself if it wasn't for you. What do you think about that love and that responsibility?" I shot the question out, like I did at every interview. I loved to see how the artists responded to this because I spent most of my life on the other side. Being the fan.
"Wow, well," Brian began. "We do have a responsibility to these fans. I mean, they look up to us and they look to us to give them the right advice and the right direction in life. We want to do that. Because sometimes we may be all they have. Parents divorce, people die, friends leave you, boyfriends break your heart, and we want to be a kind of support. When they tell us they love us, I think we've all gotten use to it," they all nodded their heads.
"But," he continued. "I don't know if we will ever be able to understand. To ourselves, I mean we see ourselves as normal people and they see us as larger than life. And they don't know us, but they do. Their love is just amazing and that they can give that to us without even technically knowing us, it's just..." Brian looked to Howie who finished his sentence.
"It's just amazing. We have the best fans in the world, right fellas?" Howie asked, looking around at the men sitting next to him.
I looked at all of them carefully. When they first had hit the scene so many years ago they were so much more smaller. They were boys and they were growing up in the music industry. Now they were men. They were intimidating. They were use to the fame and they had some great thoughts and personalities. It took me a minute to get my thoughts together. I saw Nick staring at me out of the corner of my eye and my mind began to run wild. Gosh, he grew up the most out of all of them, I thought. Once a boy, and now this man, this overpowering man was right in front of me. I couldn't get him off of my mind.
"I think you guys really give your fans a lot. Some artists can barely manage one thank you throughout their whole career and your fans really appreciate what you do for them, I'm sure," I responded back to Brian and Howie's testimony. I continued on with the interview.

~FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER~
They all stood up and stretched as I gathered my notes and recorder together. Brian and Kevin approached me. I thanked them again for the interview.
"We hope you're staying for the show Kate," Kevin kindly said.
"Oh yes, of course, I wouldn't miss it," I said, putting away my papers.
"Actually, didn't Nick ask you to come out with us afterwards?" Brian asked.
"Yeah, he did," I replied, still fiddling with my papers.
"Well, are you going to?" Kevin pushed.
"Yes, of course. I think you guys are great," I answered.
"See you then," Brian said, walking away with Kevin.
"Hey beautiful," I heard a voice say.
"Hey," I said almost breathless at the sight of him.
"You're a good journalist," Nick commented.
"Well I wouldn't say that, I just like to ask different questions," I shyly answered.
"You all ready to take some pictures?" Phil asked from the other side of the room.
"Go on, the teeny boppers in the city will be pissed if I get a picture without Nick Carter in it and put it on the front page," I said, pushing him lightly in the arm to go take the pictures with his bandmates.
He lightly smacked my arm and walked away. I finished gathering my materials together and watched the photo shoot.
"Alright, that's a wrap gentlemen, thank you very much," Phil said as he put his equipment back in the case.
"Did you look pretty for the camera?" I asked Nick when he returned back to my side of the room.
"Ha ha, I dunno, do I look okay?" He asked, pretending to by a woman.
"Glamours," I said, as we walked out of the room. Phil passed me with his equipment in hand.
"Bye Katie, I'll see you Monday," Phil said, again winking at me.
"Thanks so much Phil, see you then," I said as he traveled down the corridor.
"Well it's an hour till show time. I have to go do the makeup thing, the fan thing, and then the clothes and microphones thing. You will be at the show, right?" He reassuringly asked.
"Right in the front," I answered as he took off down the corridor.


~ONE HOUR LATER - SHOW TIME~

I sat in the press area with my laptop open. I'd been writing my interview for Monday's paper all during the opening act. I had most of it done. I just needed to find more information out on some boy band that just came out a few months previous to now. I was about to link onto the web when the lights went out. I backed up my files and shut the laptop. I put everything away as I saw the five men take the stage. Screaming girls hissed all around me. I watched the concert intently. Taking notes after every song for my review. Halfway through the concert I decided to start typing my review. I wanted to go out with Nick after the show, so I had to have this review done. I didn't need Kaylee on my ass first thing Monday morning. Thank goodness I was not a weekend worker anymore. But I still had to take this to the editor tonight. Better yet, I decided to E-mail it to Mark. He was there and he could work on it with me online while I was at the concert. I began my review when they went down into the stage for what seemed like their two- thousandth clothes change. They came out on the stage performing a ballad that sounded familiar. I looked up as Nick walked to my side of the stage. He bent down right in front of me.
"I wish I may, I wish I might, be that certain someone you wish for every ni-ight," he sang as he stared into my eyes.
They pierced right through me. I couldn't move. He held my gaze for a while. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. As the song went on he didn't move from my side of the stage. Our eyes stayed locked for what seemed like forever but were just a matter of minutes. The melody played on.
"Time passes by, the only tears I cry, filled with disillusion and fears I have inside, like a lost soul, I feel like I'm all alone, if only I could feel your pain, within your heart of stone, I wish I may, I wish I might, be that certain someone you wish for every night," the men sang on.
The words had meaning, but it was more than words. It was the way his eyes almost sang the lyrics to me. I felt strongly about those lyrics and the feelings they implied and it was almost as if he felt the same way. I couldn't handle this anymore. I released my eyes from his. I looked over at Judy Weller who was a friend of mine from Newsweek magazine. I got up and went over to her. I saw Nick out of the corner of my eye look at me and probably question where I was going.
"Judy, will you watch my stuff, I'll be right back," I asked her as I laid my stuff down on her lap.
The round dark haired woman agreed. I ran to the bathroom. I ran up to the sink and took a deep breath. I could hear them loud and clear from the bathroom. Nick began to sing. His voice rang through my ears.
˜Stop it Kaitlyn, stop it,' I said, taking a deep breath and looking in the mirror.
I sighed loudly. My head was spinning. I didn't know what was going on. I took another deep breath and left the bathroom.

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