Chapter Seven: Dazed
I suppose you could say tonight's show was a good one, I masked
the pain I was feeling, a lot of people knew about my mothers
death and the stage was inundated with cards, flowers, soft toys,
and screeds of letters. I thanked everyone, and dedicated one of
the slow songs to Mama, the boys did the same thing, which really
meant a lot to me.
It's really strange, because I don't feel she's gone, I'm not
sure whether its just that I cant let go of her memory, or that
she is here, with me, like I prayed, watching over me. If she
was, there would be one thing I want her to know, I miss you
Mama.
Riyan
I sighed as I sat awake on my bed in the quite hotel room. Alleah
had been pretty quite since I came back, she too flew back for
the funeral, and even though she seems pretty heartless
sometimes, I do think she was genuinely upset.
I slithered out from under the blanket and walked out into the
empty lounge. I debated whether to try and amuse myself with late
night TV, but I knew that wouldn't hold my interest for long. I
opened the door, walked out into the hallway, and made my
mindless trek down the perfectly cared for hall.
I walked past room by room, wondering what secrets were hidden
behind the door to each room, did people have the same fears as I
did? Did they have the same sense of loss I felt right now?
"Just sign them Brian" I heard a muffled female voice
announce from behind one of the doors
"Leigh Anne, I want to try and work things out" Brian
retorted, obviously upset
"We've been there and we've tried that, just accept this
isn't going to work out, we're different people, I'm sorry"
she responded.
I stopped and listened, knowing it was none of my business, but
listening never the less.
"I can change" he pleaded
Silence followed for a few minutes.
"I don't want you to change Brian, that's not what this is
about. I'll come around to the arena tomorrow and drop of the
papers for your signature"
I heard the door handle click, and immediately I darted down the
hall, making it look like I was coming from the opposite
direction.
The blond stepped out into the hall, she was dressed nicely, in a
knee-length powder gray skirt and a perfectly fitting black top.
This was the first time I'd ever seen her, but she seemed nice
enough. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, a fringe cut to
the side, and a stylish bag hung over her shoulders, she
automatically reminded me of one of those trophy wives older men
tug around on their shoulders, the only difference was it looked
like she'd been crying. Brian walked out behind her, his eyes red
and puffy. He looked down the hall and saw me standing there, I
looked away taking sudden interest at a painting that hung
lifeless on the wall.
She said nothing as she walked down the hall, past me and
hurriedly into the elevator. I could see Brian breathing softly,
leaning up against the wall. I took my attention from the
painting and walked down to him.
"Hey Riyan, how you going?" he inquired, trying to mask
his upset
"I'm okay, I suppose" I sniffed, holding onto the
locket around my neck "What about you?"
"It's nothing I cant deal with" he responded, obviously
lying, it was easy enough to see this was ripping him up inside
Subconsciously I leaned in and wiped a tear from his cheek with
the back of my hand.
"It's okay to cry" I whispered, as I felt my own tears
drawing near
He nodded slowly as I turned away.
"I should go" I smiled softly,
"What are you doing wandering the halls this late
anyway?" He questioned
"I cant sleep" I replied "Every time I close my
eyes I see Mama, and I wasn't there for her when she needed
me" I cried
"You blame yourself for what happened?"
"She was walking Adrian to school, if I was there, I would
have walked him, she wouldn't be dead" I wept honestly.
He wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"It's not your fault Riyan" he whispered as he gently
rocked me back and forth
I felt safe in his arms, like nothing could hurt me.
I pulled away wiping a stray tear from my cheek.
"Come on" he smiled, gesturing for me to go into his
room
He closed the door softly behind him as I slumped down onto the
couch, pulling my knees up to my chest, my long arms wrapping
around to hold them there.
"You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened Riyan, there
are something's that just happen, and there's nothing we can do
about it, its sad and its horrible, but we cant turn back time,
I'm sure your mother is watching over you, and I'm sure she knows
its not your fault" he smiled as he sat down beside me
"I know that, but sometimes" I sniffed, looking up at
him "I just feel like if I was there I could have done
something, I could have stopped this from happening"
His arm held me tightly as he gently pulled me into his shoulder,
I didn't resist, finding an unfamiliar comfort in his arms.
"It'll be okay" he whispered
~ THE NEXT MORNING ~
I yawned quietly as my eyes slowly fluttered open, last thing I
remembered was lying down on the couch, I must have fallen
asleep, the long run of sleepless nights finally getting to me. I
snuggled against the blankets on the bed that covered me, as I
looked across to where Brian lay, still fast asleep. He was on
top of the bed, covered by a blanket, that was half falling off
the bed. He was still dressed in the clothes he was wearing last
night, his back facing me. I looked down at my watch, it was only
5:00 am, he still had a few more hours to sleep. I slipped out
from under the covers, also still dressed in what I was wearing
before. I yawned again as I walked out of the bedroom, into the
lounge, then from there, out into the hallway, quietly making my
way back to my room.
~ 2 DAYS LATER ~
I slithered the sunglasses down my face as the limo stopped
outside a local radio station. Promotion was big now, in every
state I went to I would be asked to do quick guest appearances on
shows for both radio and TV. Right now, we were in sunny Florida.
The heat was amazing, even for what I was used to, and I felt
like a human roast chicken, cooking away in the confined spaces
of the black limousine.
Brian and Nick had also come along to do a little promotion, so
at least I wasn't to be alone in the sweltering heat. Billy and
Mark, their security got out first, of the limo in front of us,
they followed behind, the screeds of screaming fans held back by
semi stable bars, lined with the occasional police officer. I
suppose the guys were used to all this by now, I on the other
hand was quite overwhelmed. Carl, my bodyguard got out ahead of
me, with a quick breath I got up out of the limo, my names was
been yelled from all corners of the place, and I felt a great
sense of fame - I must admit, it felt good.
Nick and Brian disappeared into the building, as I made my way up
the path set out. I heard a loud scream behind me, followed by a
forceful bang, my head spun around to see the entire left side of
the path collapse, as the bars went like dominos crashing to the
ground. Carl shoved me forward, pushing me to keep going, in
front of me fell one of the right bars crashed down in front of
me, and before I knew it I was engulfed with people everywhere.
My eyes darted around, but I couldn't see Carl anywhere and the
door to the radio station seemed like a million miles away. A
girl screamed beside me as she toppled to the floor, taking me
with her.
~ AT THE SAME TIME ~
Brian spun around as he heard the commotion outside. Security
raced outside, through the glass doors, desperately trying to
stop the crowd storming the station.
"Shit, where's Riyan" he called as his eyes searched
the surface.
He saw Carl in the distance, pushing through the mass. He reached
the door, but Riyan was no where around.
"She hasn't come up?" he called through the glass
Nick and Brian both shock there heads as Billy and Mark ran
outside to help.
"Damn, I've gotta find her" Brian muttered to himself
as he ran for the doors
"What the hell are you doing?" Mark spoke, catching
Brian as he ran outside
"I'm helping" Brian called as he tried to struggle past
"Get your skinny ass inside"
"RIYAN" Brian screamed
"You'll make it worse, get the hell inside" Mark
announced, practically pulling Brian inside, and slamming the
door behind him
"Stupid Littrell, very stupid" he muttered as he stood
by the doors
~ AT THE SAME TIME ~
Thankfully I was able to pull myself off the ground. My head
hurt, I reached my hand up to touch it, and then realized I was
bleeding. A tight hand gripped onto my arm and pulled me from my
position. Next thing I knew I was surrounded by Carl, Billy, and
2 uniformed strangers. They made their way through the crowd, me
in the middle of them. I was so relieved to finally reach the
doors, I heard the scream of the ambulance coming down the road
as the pushed me through the doors.
"Riyan, are you okay?" Brian questioned as he ran from
the side to meet me
I muttered something, I was completely dazed.
"You're bleeding" Nick commented.
"Thanks for pointing out the obvious" I smirked,
holding my hand to the cut on my forehead
Brian untucked his skirt and made me sit down.
"Scary huh?" he spoke as he dabbed away the blood with
the bottom of his shirt as he stood above me
"Yeah" I muttered rubbing my neck "Oh my god"
I sighed in disbelief
"What?" Brian smiled, still tending to the cut
"My necklace, it's gone" I cried