Dear Ashlee, How do we know where we belong in this world and how do we go about finding such a place?
James, Wessex
Ashlee stared at the question on the computer screen before her, as she sat at the large oak desk she called home more than 9 hours a day.
London had been good to her after moving there 2 years ago. At first she'd drowned in the lifestyle, but she soon found her feet, and by sheer luck she found a job for a columnist/journalist for the London Sentinel, a small local newspaper that dealt in everything from news to cartoons to horoscopes.
This would be her last day in the city that never seemed to look anymore modern then she supposed it had looked centuries ago. She had tried to gain permanent residence, but she knew in her heart it was not what she wanted. She had not been back to New York, or Florida, and she had told no one of her longing to do so. She loved London, but a part of her still lived back there. She had seen Nick on the TV a few months ago, he looked older than she remembered, his blue eyes had faded and he wasn't smiling. She'd heard some rumours around the newsroom that the band was on the verge of splitting. She'd read a few months after arriving that Brian Littrell had married his fiancé Rebecca. But she'd heard nothing of Nick. Some nights she would still find herself thinking of him, wondering what he was doing and if he lay alone in bed thinking of her also.
Her mind jolted back to the computer, she had a deadline, and if she didn't answer this question she wouldn't make it.
Dear James
Where do we belong? For that question I have no answer. I do believe we each have a place, but like a jigsaw puzzle we can only know where this place is by trial and error. And as the saying goes - When the piece's fit, you've found your home.
Ashlee emailed that question and answer, along with the other 5 she'd done earlier to her supervisor then shut off the computer. She looked at her watch, the plane with her on it would leave in 2 hours. She walked around the empty offices, she had no real friends to say goodbye to as the past 24 months she'd kept to herself.
She said a few random goodbyes and good lucks to those who were still, like her, working, then made the long journey out of the building she'd treated like an emotional sanctuary.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick threw what he could into the small carryon suitcase as Amanda screamed every swear word she could, followed by his name and a few insults. His marriage was over, in fact it had been over before it started, he had known that, he was just too hurt, too desperate for love, to believe it.
He would leave now, leave the stuffy Beverly Hills house and the life he'd regretfully found himself in. Single handedly he'd managed to cause a rift between Brian and Him by listening to the deceitful lies Amanda had weaved, he'd also contributed to the downfall of the band, though they were still together it was in the smallest sense of the world. He knew 2 years ago he'd lost the plot, he'd veered off a tract and carried on too far to turn around. He'd made mistakes, but none he knew, more greater than loosing the one women he had a connection to.
"You fucker, I swear to god I will take everything you fucking have" Amanda screamed, her eyes a violent red color
"Fine, take it" Nick sighed, nothing meant much to him anymore
"You fucker" she screamed repeatedly as he pushed past, small suitcase in one hand and a tattered notebook in the other.
He would board the first plane to anywhere, he didn't much care where it took him. He would dye his hair, change his name, he would disappear.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ashlee got to Heathrow Airport just as the check-in call went out. She was running a little late, but thanks to the strange departure time there were very few people checking-in.
Her luggage disappeared down the conveyer belt as she made her way across to Departure Lounge 19.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick starred up at the flicking overlay board in LA International Airport. A Plane left for London, England in about 30 minutes. He wasn't sure if they'd allow him, but it's amazing what you could do with money, which despite Amanda's spending, he still had a bit of.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ashlee boarded the plane and took the isle seat assigned. LA would be her first destination, from there she would fly back to New York and find another job to burry herself in.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick sunk down into the first class chair and lay his head on to the headrest. He closed his eyes and felt a sudden rush of calm come over him. He'd been to England with the band, it was a great place if you wanted to get lost, which was precisely what he wanted to do.