"Hi, my name’s Ronnie from NYU and I wanna request KoRn ‘Somebody Someone’ because they totally ROCK ASS! YEAH BABY, KoRn ROCKS ASS!" He hung up, dialed again, and activated the Voice Changing System. "Um, hi…My name is Cynthia and I go to Rutgers University and I wanna vote for KoRn’s ‘Somebody Someone’ because David is, like, totally the cutest guy ever and I just have to see him!"
Android No. 16 grabbed the mouse and began to click on KoRn "Somebody Someone" at mtv.com over and over again, as he dialed the phone number again, and requested KoRn "Somebody Someone Somemore." Soon, it was time for TRL to begin.
"Hi, I’m Carson Daly, and welcome to Total Request Live," said the Queen of the Dorks. "We have a very special treat for you. Something unprecedented is happening here in Times Square, because it’s the first time that a single video has held every single spot on the countdown! It’s unreal! We don’t know what’s happening, but for our two close calls we have KoRn ‘Somebody Someone.’ At the No. 10 spot is KoRn ‘Somebody Someone.’ Making its TRL Debut at No. 9 is KoRn ‘Somebody Someone.’ At Numbers 8 down to 2 we have KoRn ‘Somebody Someone.’ We have a special TRL Premiere from KoRn, which is incidentally ‘Somebody Someone; and at the No. 1 spot, as it has been mysteriously for the past six weeks, we have KoRn’s ‘Somebody Someone.’
"Uh, I just want to assure to all the Backstreet Boys, Hanson, *N Sync, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera fans that, unfortunately, we do have technicians trying to figure out who screwed up TRL’s phone lines and web server. We have no idea when the problem will be fixed, however. This would ordinarily cause ratings to plummet, thus meaning the end of TRL, not to mention my job. And seeing as how I am an impossibly untalented moron, even for an MTV employee, I have no hopes of finding any other work, so I’d probably have to go crawl into a ditch and die. But thankfully, whoever hacked into mtv.com and screwed up the phone lines did something to the Nielsen Ratings as well. TRL is now, officially, the highest rated television show on Earth, and even Namek-Seijin: the Television-Deficient Planet. So without further ado, here’s KoRn ‘Somebody Someone…’"
"YES!" yelled Android No. 16 as his new favorite song began to play. He proceeded to jump around the house, head banging, and making lots of merry. This was a problem for Androids No. 17 and 18, who found it difficult to walk through their apartment with all the merry on the floor.
"DAMN IT, NO. 16! Would you quit making so much merry all the damn time?" yelled Android No. 18. "We can hardly walk without slipping on the slippery crap!"
Android No. 16 put the pie back on the table and zipped up his pants. "Sorry, guys. I guess I got carried away," said Android No. 16.
"It’s all right, No. 16. It’s not your fault that you find KoRn so hot and sexy," said No. 17. He began to drool.
"…"
"Uh…I was…" began No. 17. He ran into his bedroom.
No. 18 sighed. "Mop up all this merry, No. 16, okay? I’m going to take a shower." Android No. 16 began to mop up the mess he made, while KoRn continued to play on Total Request Live.
No. 17 walked back out of his bedroom, and walked towards the corner of the room, where his gun was hanging. "16! Hurry up and get the digital camera! I’ve got to e-mail these pictures to Playgirl by 6:00!"
No. 16 picked up the camera as No. 17 grabbed his gun, took off his shirt revealing his bony, muscle-deficient torso, and pointed his pistol at the camera. "I look so good when I’m holding my gun," said No. 17. No. 16 began to take random pictures, shouting his…uh…encouragement…
"Yeah Baby! That’s it, work it for me! Don’t stop baby don’t stop!" Suddenly, the phone rang.
Android No. 18 walked out after finishing her shower WEARING A TOWEL and answered the phone. "Hello?" she asked. Her eyes grew wide. "Uh…yes sir! Don’t worry, we’re on it!" She hung up.
"Who was that?" asked No. 17.
"It was…the Chief…" said No. 18. The other Androids gasped. "That’s right…we’ve got work!"
"What’s our mission?" asked No. 17.
"Lunch sneezed," said No. 18. The others shuddered. "There’s no telling what she’s capable of now that she has become the evil Raunchy…"
"Let’s roll!" yelled No. 17. The Androids ran to the fire poles and slid down them to the floor. "Oh wait…we’re on the bottom floor already, aren’t we?"
"Just one question, guys," said No. 16. "Who the hell is Lunch?"
DRAGONBALL Z:
MISADVENTURES in MOD SQUADS
Starring: The Androids
(No. 17: "I get to be Linc!")
By: L. Curtis Totty
She came exploding out of First Satan City Bank, carrying a rather large sack over her shoulder, with a "Ľ" symbol on it, as well as an Enormous Gun, that hardly looked as if it fit a human being. She looked as though she had just robbed a bank, but who knows what she was really up to?
"Wow, what a rush! I just robbed a bank…"
Whoops…my mistake…
"…Now it’s time to blow this Popsicle…stand!" said Raunchy. She then pointed her gun at a nearby Popsicle and Italian ice stand, and fired. The explosion caused the biggest ice cream fire ever to ravage the streets of Satan City. One of the Popsicles landed in Raunchy’s hand. She tore off the wrapper and began to lick it ever so gently… "Mmm…strawberry…"
"Hey! Why a-you a-destroy-a Luciano’s Popsicle-a stands, uh? Now how is a-Luciano a-going to bribe-a the mens from immigration?" Raunchy finished her Popsicle and threw the remaining stick into Luciano’s eye. "Ahhh! Luciano, she is a-blinded! I’ll get-a you for this, you mean-a unkind a-woman!"
Raunchy looked around. "No cops…no Z-Senshi…no Teletubbies…looks like the coast is clear…"
She took two steps then walked right into a rather large person’s green chest. "AHH! TINKY-WINKY! Uh…I mean ANDROID NO. 16!"
Android No. 17 peeked out from behind Android No. 16’s enormous body and spoke. "YOU’RE GOING DOWN, RAUNCHY! WE CAUGHT YOU RED-HANDED!" He ducked back behind No. 16.
"No…I caught you red-handed!" yelled Raunchy as she threw the gun at Android No. 18 and ran off.
"AAAHHH!" cried Android No. 18 as she tossed the gun to Android No. 17.
"Don’t give it to me!" cried No. 17 as he threw it to No. 16. He simply volleyed it into the air, not knowing where it would land.
"A drug-dealing we will go…a drug-dealing we will go…" sang Piccolo. "High ho’ make merry-o, a drug-dealing we will go…hey what’s that?"
Piccolo looked up to see a large gun falling towards him. He caught it. "Hey a gun! Now all I need is a sword and I could make a pretty cool action figure!"
"Freeze!" Suddenly, Piccolo found himself surrounded by the police.
"Hey, how come all your guns are bigger than mine?" asked Piccolo.
"Mr. Devil, you’re under arrest!"
"Oh no! Are you arresting me because you think this gun is mine and that I used it to rob the First Satan City Bank? Because I didn’t do it, and those drug dealing allegations are totally unsubstantiated!" cried Piccolo.
"Piccolo, you’re under arrest for being a Dragonball Z character with unneeded accessories meant to horribly Americanize the good name that is ‘Dragonball!"
Another officer called out. "No need for weapons! It’s unquestionably FUNi!"
"Please, don’t arrest me!" cried Piccolo. "I didn’t mean to…"
"Shut up and get in the car!" yelled the cop as he grabbed Piccolo, cuffed him, and shoved him into the squad car. The cameraman sat down beside the cop.
"Yeah, we get all sorts of weirdoes in these parts…" said the policeman. "We get green guys, blue guys, purple guys, black guys, guys with red necks…" He looked over and saw the cameraman looking at him strangely.
"Uh…I think I’d better go arrest some guys…" said the policeman.
As the policeman arrested the Farmer Guy from Episode One, and Captain Strong, Piccolo began to formulate a plan. "I could easily break out of these chains couldn’t I?
"Hmmm…
"Hmmm…
"Hmmm…
"Yeah, I guess I can break out of here," thought Piccolo. He exploded through the roof of the squad car, carrying Raunchy’s gun with him.
"Oh no!" cried the police officer, as he grabbed the radio. "Attention all units…be on the lookout for a Dragonball Z character…a Namek-Seijin! He was arrested on the charges of being armed! Repeat! Be on the lookout for an armed Namek-Seijin!"
"This is perfect," said Android No. 18. "Raunchy’s escaped from us, and now we’ve got to save Piccolo from his false charges…what are we going to do No. 17? …17?"
Androids No. 16 and No. 17 were watching TRL on their portable television, as KoRn’s "Somebody Someone" reached Number Six on the countdown…
"WOULD YOU MORONS PAY ATTENTION?" yelled Android No. 18. "Now listen…Piccolo found Raunchy’s gun, so now he’s on the run on charges of being a Dragonball Z character carrying a weapon…"
"What? Only I’m allowed to do that!" yelled Android No. 17.
"That’s right," said Android No. 18. "And on top of all that, the Poltergeist Pimp is still loose on the corner of 13th and Main!"
"The…the…the Poltergeist Pimp?" cried Android No. 17.
"Rhe…rhe…rhe Rolterreist Rimp?" cried Android No. 16.
"That’s right…you know what that means…" said No. 18.
"Right! Let’s split up, gang!" said No. 17. "No. 16, I want you to go with No. 18 and me! No. 18, you go with No. 16 and me! I’ll go with No. 16 and No. 18! Let’s go!"
The Androids turned to move to where they were assigned, and bumped into each other’s heads, which caused some sort of strange anomaly in the Earth’s gravitational pull, which made them all fall down.
"Damn gravity," said No. 17, as he rubbed his head.
"Okay look, I’ll look for Raunchy," said No. 18. "You two go find Piccolo."
"Right, we’re on it," said No. 16. They all walked into each other again.
"Oh come on!" yelled Piccolo, as he inhaled his popcorn. "This Dragonball Zeta crap is such a rip-off! Even though I can’t exactly determine what animé this show is supposed to be copying, I do know that this completely unoriginal piece of crap is a totally replicated portion of horsepuckey! They even tried to copy the Spanish language! How stupid is that? And look at the names! ‘Seńor Piccolo,’ ‘Veheta,’ ‘Gogan!’ This is just horrible! Let’s see how they tried to copy it on the Japanese Channel!"
Android No. 16 and No. 17 soon arrived at the Bat Cave, and entered in search of Piccolo. Soon, they found him. "Piccolo, where are you?" asked No. 16. "Damn it! We’ve looked nowhere and can’t find him right here! Here the hell is he?"
No. 17 spoke up. "16, do you think that’s him?" He pointed to a large, green, piece of fluff sitting on the couch eating lots of popcorn.
"No, the real Piccolo is way hotter," said No. 16.
"Damn straight," rebutted Piccolo.
"Okay, Piccolo," said No. 17. "We’re going to have to take you with us! In order to clear your name, we have to prove that you weren’t really going to fight any villains with that gun, and that it wasn’t an action figure accessory!"
"Your plan can’t possibly work. I’m in," said Piccolo. "Now just wait a few years, my stories are on."
"Ooh!" cried No. 16. "Dr. Drake Ramoray is supposed to finally propose to Chandler! But will his evil twin Ross come in and ruin things?"
"Come on you guys!" cried No. 17. "We’ve got to get out of here! The police are raiding the place and pretty soon they’re going to notice that we’re standing right in front of their faces!"
"Hey, this moving green statue looks just like the Devil," said the officer. "Keep searching boys!"
"Quickly! Before their ignorance becomes apparent to them!" cried No. 17. He dragged Piccolo and No. 16 back to the Androids’ Mystery Machine, which had a bumper sticker that read "My other car is a Gundam Heavyarms."
Soon, they drove off, speeding away from the incredibly slow police. "There’s Piccolo! Right there," said the Chief, staring at the spot where Piccolo used to be sitting.
"…"
"Oh no, Chief! They got away!" cried a younger officer, after about ten minutes.
"Quiet, Cory," said the Chief, as he continued to stare at the sofa.
"Uh, Chi…"
"Shh! Don’t speak…" said the Chief, as he continued to focus on the sofa.
Raunchy knelt before a man of great status in his community. She felt like a weakling as she stood before him. She stood in his office, waiting for some sign that the old, experienced man had acknowledged her existence. "Raunchy…"
"Uh…yes, Don Mignon?" asked Raunchy.
"You have done well in getting me this money…" he said. "You have paid me back for the money he has lent you for your unfortunate loss of money..."
"Yes, Don Mignon. It was hell after I accidentally dropped that huge sack of money into the sewer along with my usual set of corpses…"
"…However, you have drawn forth too much attention to my establishment and me. This is unforgivable…"
"Don Mignon, I’m sorry…"
"Piccolo has my gun, and if the Z-Senshi traces it back to me, I’ll be in deep doo-doo…" he said.
"Please…I can…I can get the Z-Senshi off our backs, sir…"
"Silence…I’ll give you one more chance," said Don Mignon as he extended his hand towards Raunchy, who took it, and kissed it. The old-man smell caused her to sneeze and transform back into Lunch. "Now go forth and return to me my giant weapon…"
"Yes sir, of course, sir…" said Lunch, as she ran out of the room.
Don Mignon walked back to his desk, and sat down, with the sack of money in hand. He pressed a button on his desk. The window behind him, looking out over Satan City, soon discarded its digitally-produced image and turned into a blank television screen, which mysteriously opened up, revealing a large hangar inside. Inside the hangar was…
…
…
…
…A Mobile Suit!
…
…
…A Gundam to be exact!
…
"Soon, the Gundam Godfather will be complete, once I get back my Enormous Gun. Now, all I need is someone who I can pay to pilot it…" Don Mignon began to search the classifieds, the phone books, and then the Internet, but his computer crashed. "Damn Celeron! Now I have to shut down and reboot all over again!"
Android No. 18 watched as Lunch exited the house of Don Mignon. She hid behind the building so that Lunch couldn’t see her. She saw a police car drive right past her. "This may fool the police, but it won’t trick me…Looks like I’ll have to keep tabs on her…" Android No. 18 took a Capsule Box out of her pocket, then took out a capsule. She pressed the button and threw it down on the ground. It exploded and formed a strange device. She pulled out her Dragonball Radar and connected the Capsule device into it. She then pulled out an even smaller device, like a tiny bug, and waited behind the wall until Lunch walked past. She threw the bug into her hair. The Dragonball Radar was now displaying Lunch’s location.
Soon, the Mystery Machine drove behind Lunch up towards No. 18. No. 17 leaned out the window. "18, we got Piccolo! Let’s roll," he said.
No. 18 climbed inside and showed them the Dragonball Radar. "There’s Lunch! Let’s go!"
"Okay, but we’ve got to make sure she doesn’t spot us," said No. 17.
"YES!" yelled No. 16.
"What? What?" asked Piccolo.
"KoRn reached Number One on the Countdown! They finally beat out KoRn!" cried No. 16, flailing around his portable television.
"Damn those KoRn bastards!" cried Piccolo. "I can’t believe they beat Hanson!"
"…"
"I’ve got to find Piccolo and get the Enormous Gun from him," said Lunch. She suddenly got the sneaking suspicion that someone was following her. She decided that she had better turn around to see if anyone was following her. She jumped into the air, did several Freeza-like flips, and landed on the ground, facing the opposite direction. "Hmmm…looks like the Androids’ Mystery Machine ducked around the corner at the last second." She turned back around and walked right into the standing Mystery Machine, with the Androids, and Piccolo, sitting inside.
"Damn it, she’s spotted us!" said No. 16.
"You and your hiding place," said Piccolo to No. 17.
"All right, Androids! Where’s the gun?" asked Lunch. The Androids leapt out of the car, and told Piccolo to stay inside.
"Sorry, Lunch…but you’re not getting your gun back," said No. 18.
"What are you gonna do about it, huh?" asked No. 17, taunting. "We’re the ones in charge now, Lunch! There’s nothing you can do about it! Nothing!"
"Hey, No. 17, are you wearing a new cologne?" asked Lunch.
"Why yes…its called Distraction…Here, smell!" said No. 17 as he tossed his scarf at Lunch. She grabbed the scarf, took a whiff, sneezed, and transformed into Raunchy.
"Now, who’s the big man on campus?" asked Raunchy. No. 17 shrieked like a little punk and ducked behind No. 16.
"Now, where’s the gun?" asked Raunchy. Piccolo jumped out of the Mystery Machine, carrying the Enormous Gun with him.
"NO! NO. 17, DON’T GIVE HER YOUR SCARF, IT’LL MAKE HER SNEEZE AND SHE’LL TURN INTO RAUNCHY!" cried Piccolo.
"Boy, are you late," said No. 18. Raunchy ran towards Piccolo, attempting to snatch the gun from him.
Piccolo quickly turned the gun around, pointing the handle at Raunchy, and the blowhole at himself. "Ha! Now it will be more difficult for you to hold the gun! Meanwhile, I shall point the barrel directly into my face, thus allowing me to have the better grip so that you will not be able to steal it!" Raunchy grabbed the trigger and shot Piccolo. "Boy, do I feel silly…"
"I have neither the time nor the ignorance to stay here any longer. I’ve got to get this gun back to Don Mignon and pronto so that he can attach it to the Mobile Suit he’s working on!" said Raunchy, as she ran away.
"Damn it! Who knows what she’s going to do with that gun?" asked No. 16. "She’ll probably rob the bank again!"
"Well, the joke’s on her! The bank is in the other direction, and she’s clearly traveling somewhere near the completely opposite direction!" said No. 17. "She won’t be stealing anymore sperm today! Looks like this case is all wrapped up! Who wants to go to Baskin Robbins?"
"AGH! I’VE JUST BEEN SHOT IN THE FACE!" cried Piccolo.
"Looks like there’s only one thing left to do, gang," said No. 18. "We’ve got to get to the bank before she does!"
"That’s strange, she isn’t here," said No. 18.
"Like, look! The Poltergeist Pimp sure is!" cried No. 17.
"GET OUT!" yelled the Poltergeist Pimp.
"Like, hey, 16! Dig that crazy ghost! Like, we’d better get out of here!" cried No. 17. He and No. 16 began to run away. The Poltergeist Pimp began to pimp-slap No. 18.
"Oh no you didn’t…" said No. 18. She powered up an energy attack.
"JINKIES!"
Android No. 18 fired an enormous energy blast at the Poltergeist Pimp, knocking him away. The Androids all ran back to the Mystery Machine, where Piccolo waited, while a Beatles-sounding band played in the background.
As they ran, Android No. 16 crashed into the band’s amplifier, causing them both to fall over. "Why don’t you bloomin’ blokes watch where yer going?" asked the band’s lead singer.
"Rorry…Rheeheeheeheeheeheehee…" laughed No. 16.
The drummer approached No. 18. "Hey there…you look familiar…have you by any chance ever been to Worcestershire?"
"Yeah, why?" asked No. 18.
"I met the jolliest opium whores in Worcestershire, by gum…" said the drummer.
"Must my past constantly come back to haunt me?" asked No. 18.
"Like, 18, we’ve got to hurry up and leave this crazy pad!" said No. 17.
"Rrrright…ret’s ret outta rere!" cried No. 16.
"Let’s split up, gang!" shouted Piccolo, from inside the Mystery Machine.
"Shut up," said No. 17.
"So you’re the Gundam Pilot?" asked Don Mignon.
"Yes, that’s right…"
"You must be excited to pilot this new Gundam…"
"I sure am. I can’t wait to get in the cockpit, dude. This is so awesome…"
"Heheh…you don’t sound too excited…"
"I’ve got Ben Stein Syndrome…I can’t change the tone or pitch of my voice at all. It’s a horrible affliction that hits half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a percent of the world’s population…"
"All right, Heero Yuy…There is the Gundam. As soon as I get the Gundam’s main weapon, you will be able to pilot it. You get one-quarter of the money upon beginning your mission, and the rest after you destroy the Androids…"
"Mission welcomed…" said Heero. "I mean, ‘Mission Accepted.’ Just one question. Does it have the Zero System?"
"No…" said Don Mignon.
"Damn you. Don’t you understand? I need the Zero System. I can’t fight without it. I can’t do this without Zero. I need the Zero. Show me the Zero." said Heero.
"Sorry…I don’t have the Zero System," said Don Mignon.
"Fine. Forget it. I won’t do it then," said Heero. He walked away.
…
"And I’m taking the money, too," said Heero, as he returned and grabbed the sack of cash.
"Great. Where am I supposed to get another Gundam Pilot on such short notice?" asked Don Mignon.
"I’ll do it," said a voice. Don Mignon turned to see a young man wearing a turtleneck with the most peculiar hairstyle.
"Trowa Barton?" asked Don Mignon.
"That’s right…" said Trowa. "I’ll pilot your Gundam."
"All right…" said Don Mignon. "But I don’t have any money for you."
Heero walked back into the room with the sack of cash. He set it down on the table, and turned toward Trowa. "You’re lucky that sack of money is too heavy…"
"That’s why my Gundam is called Heavyarms," said Trowa. He began to chortle, eerily.
"Oh sure, throw your amazing laughter powers in my face, why don’t you? If I could laugh I would. I’d be a way better laugher than you, thank you very much," said Heero.
"Please! The sound of my laughter causes teenage girls to giggle and swoon. You ain’t got nothing on me, fool…" said Trowa.
"Oh yeah? I can kick your ass any day at ‘Pokémon Stadium,’" said Heero. His attempt to mumble the words "at Pokémon Stadium" so that they could not be heard failed miserably. "Damn you, Ben Stein…damn you too, Trowa."
"Don’t make me have to throw you, suckah…" said Trowa.
"All right, that’s enough. Heero, get out of here! Trowa, you’ve got the job," said Don Mignon. Trowa stuck his tongue out at Heero.
"Your mama…" said Heero. He left, sullenly.
Lunch entered just as Heero left. "Don Mignon, I’ve returned with the Enormous Gun."
"Good…Trowa, you may now attach it to the Gundam Godfather…" said Don Mignon. Trowa took the Enormous Gun from Lunch and carried it over to the Gundam Godfather, and then climbed inside. He used the controls to pick up the Enormous Gun, and hook it up to the Gundam Godfather. "No! Not there, on one of its arms!"
"Whoops…" said Trowa, embarrassed. He disconnected the Enormous Gun from the Gundam Godfather’s pelvic area and reconnected it to the Gundam Godfather’s left arm.
"That’s better," said Don Mignon. "Now that the Enormous Gun will draw its energy directly from the Gundam, it should be even stronger. Trowa, here is the first quarter of your money…"
The Gundam Godfather picked up the sack of money and put it into its pocket. "Yay! I got my money!" said Trowa as the Gundam Godfather began to do its happy jig. "Right. I’m off." The Gundam Godfather leapt through the roof of Don Mignon’s house, and flew off to complete its mission.
"All right, so it looks like the police have pretty much given up on trying to find me," noticed Piccolo. "Can I go now?"
"Like, no way, we’ve got to stay in the Mystery Machine," said No. 17.
"All right, enough with the chitchat," said No. 18. "We’ve got to find Lunch and figure out who she gave the money to…"
Suddenly, a loud and ominous voice boomed out from some sort of speaker system. He and I jockeyed for control of narration, but the voice was far deeper than mine was…
"The year is After Colony 195…"
"Uh-oh, I smell a crossover," said No. 16. "It’s coming from over there!"
"Everyone! Break out your Crossover Protection Goggles!" cried No. 17. The Androids and Piccolo all put on some special Gundanium glasses. "Good, this should insulate us from the horrible plot-line ahead.
Suddenly, the source of the scary voiceover guy was soon apparent as the Gundam Godfather landed down on the ground so hard that it caused a tremor, flipping the Mystery Machine on its side.
"Zoinks!" cried No. 17.
Trowa Barton was soon discovered to be the one making the voice, holding a Voice Changing System microphone up to his mouth.
"Operation Meatier – In a move to get some teenyboppers to wet their panties, Trowa Barton, the hottest and most handsome Gundam Pilot, in his new sexy Gundam that emphasized his lethal bangs, arrived on the scene, ready to do hot, kinky, and possibly mud-covered battle. Now, the time has come to destroy the Androids and get paid!" Trowa dropped the loudspeaker microphone to the floor, and prepared to fight.
"Ah! What’s that?" cried Android No. 17.
"It’s a woman walking her poodle down the street," said No. 16.
"Oh…I thought it was something else…AAAHHH! WHAT’S THAT?" cried No. 17.
"The poodle’s pooping," said No. 16.
"Oh…" said No. 17. "Oh look, a giant Gundam paid to kill us all violently. Who wants to go to Baskin Robbins?"
"Me!" yelled Piccolo.
"Is that your final answer?" asked No. 17.
"Yes!" said Piccolo.
No. 17 looked at his little computer screen thingy, then back at Piccolo. Piccolo began to sweat profusely. No. 17 looked discouraged. Then he shouted. "YES…"
"Whoo-hoo…"
"…YOU’RE WRONG!"
"D’ohh!"
"I’m going to Baskin Robbins! Like, I’ll see you guys later!" said No. 17 as he ran off in the other direction. No. 18 suddenly grabbed him by the scarf. "Ah damn it…"
"Wait a minute…" said No. 18. "There’s no Baskin Robbins around here!"
"Shoot. Foiled again," said No. 17. He started running once more, but to no avail.
"Prepare to die, Androids! Soon, I will get my money, and I might be able to use the parts of this Gundam to upgrade the Heavyarms!" said Trowa. The Gundam Godfather’s Enormous Gun pointed at the Androids and Piccolo, and fired. The Androids managed to escape, but Piccolo’s arm was blown off.
"Excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can’t miss it, it’s green…" said Trowa. He began to laugh eerily again.
"And you guys called me late…" scoffed Piccolo, as he regenerated. After careful consideration and lots of evil scheming, Piccolo decided to fight back.
"MAKKENKOUSAPPO!"
Piccolo’s energy blast went flying towards the Gundam Godfather, hitting it right in the chest, having no effect. "What? That’s impossible!"
"You see this Mobile Suit is different…it’s made of a powerful metal called Gundanium, and Mobile Suits made with that metal are called Gundams," said Trowa, explaining just about everything for the non-Gundam fans.
"Looks like its up to us, No. 17," said No. 18, to her weeping brother.
"Fine…let’s do it…" said No. 17, between tears.
"JINKIES!"
"ZOINKS!"
Androids No. 18 and No. 17 fired their signature energy blasts at the Gundam Godfather, which pulled up its shield, protecting it from their oncoming attack. The Gundam Godfather counterattacked with a gigantic blast with the Enormous Gun, knocking No. 17 and 18 into a giant building. Trowa turned to No. 16. "Now it’s your turn…"
The Enormous Gun fired at Android No. 16, who wasn’t fast enough to jump out of the way. As he turned to run, it hit him right in the back, but he took no damage, and stood his ground. "No. 16?" cried Piccolo. "How can that be? How did you survive?"
No. 16 pulled a tag out from behind his neck. "100% Gundanium…"
"IT’S A GUNDAM!" cried Lunch.
"Gundamn it, now how am I supposed to get my money?" asked Trowa.
"All right, Trowa! It’s time for you to get what’s coming to you!" said No. 16. He began to float in the sky, and went flying into the Gundam Godfather’s stomach, breaking a hole in it with his foot. No. 16 pointed his fists towards the Gundam Godfather’s face, and shot the fists off of his arms. Now he was free to attack with his signature attack, the Hell’s Flash!
"SCOOBY DOOBY DOO-OOOOOOOO!"
Android No. 16’s super energy blast tore right through the Gundam’s head, ripping it off. Trowa decided to jump out. "Well, he who fights and runs away, can live his life on his own emotions, or something like that…"
"I’ve got to start charging royalties for him to say that," said Heero, as he ate his popcorn, watching the fight. "RELENA! GET IN HERE AND CHANGE THE CHANNEL! DRAGONBALL ZETA’s ON!"
"You’re not getting away that easily!" demanded Piccolo, as he went flying into Trowa from behind, tackling him to the ground. "YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! I CAUGHT HIM! I DID IT! I WON! YOU…CAN…NOT…ES…CAPE…FROM…ME!"
"Piccolo, off the Gundam Pilot," said No. 16.
"Like, now let’s see who the Poltergeist Pimp really is!" said No. 17, as he pulled off the Poltergeist Pimp’s mask, revealing a short Italian noseless man with eyes the same color as his flesh, and a giant mustache. "LUCIANO, THE POPSICLE GUY!"
"I knew it was him when I saw the trail of lead paint on the floor of the Old Mansion," said No. 18. "But wait…this is actually a disguise…" She removed Luciano’s mustache.
"LAA-LAA! Uh…I mean…KURILIN!" yelled Lunch.
"But why?" asked No. 18.
"I was spying on you, No. 18. I was afraid that you were cheating on me," said Kurilin.
No. 18 jumped off of Trowa’s lap. "Kurilin, how could you not trust me? Wait a minute…I’m not even dating you!"
"Shoot. Foiled again," said Kurilin. "And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids!"
"It’s too bad you’re going away, Kurilin. You had some pretty good Popsicles!" said Lunch.
"Hey, could you turn into Raunchy and cut some of your hair off?" asked Kurilin.
"No," said Lunch.
"Damn it," said Kurilin.
Suddenly, Son Gohan came running up to Android No. 18, and gave her a big hug. "Thanks for clearing up Piccolo-san’s name!"
"Uh…you’re welcome, kid…" said No. 18.
…
"Um…"
…
"Aren’t you going to let go?" asked No. 18.
"Hold on," said Gohan. He suddenly went Super Saiyajin. "Okay, I’m good." No. 18 suddenly smacked the boy upside the head.
"Hey, Scoob! Like, it looks like this crazy case is wrapped up!" said No. 17. "What do you say we get something to eat?"
"DADADADA DUH DAAAA! PICCOLO POWER!" yelled Piccolo.
"Like, cool! Now, I can dig into this crazy Baskin Robbins ice cream!" said No. 17. He opened his mouth and closed his eyes, but about 14 seconds too long, because No. 16’s tongue swung in from off-screen and stole his ice cream. "Like, what the @%&#? Scooby…"
"Rheeheeheeheehee…SCOOBY DOOBY DOO-OOOOOOOOOO!"
THE END