From A Lighter Point Of View

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good firm push.

Some people are like crayfish: All arms and legs and a head full of rubbish.

True equality will have arrived when an incompetent woman is appointed to a top job.

Praise: Something a person tells you about yourself that you suspected all a long.

The only exercise some people get is..jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-steppiing responsibility and pushing their luck.

Be like a duck: keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like crazy underneath.

A man I know has a $5000 chair in his home, and the longer he sits in it, the more it cost him.

I like snobs. A snob has to spend so much time been a snob that he has little time left to meddle with you.

If criticism had any real power, the skunk would have been dead years ago.

Some people drink at the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.

A polite man is one who listens with interest to things he knows about when they are told to him by a person who knows nothing about them.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can not see anything wrong with each other.

Most of us could move mountains if only someone would clear the foothills out of the way.

When someone answers.."Thats a good question"...you can be sure it is a lot better than the answer you are going to get.

A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

In a bacon and egg breakfast, the hen was involved, the pig was committed!

Sometimes the message has to be blunt so you will see the point.

No person has never hurt his eyesight by looking on the bright side of life.

A procrastinator is one who puts off until tomorrow the things he has already put off until today.

In many cases more effort is put into avoiding a job than it would take to do the job in the first place.

Sometimes we have to accept the fact that the thing just cannot be done - for instance, you can not leap over a well in two jumps.

After much experience in public speaking, I still get butterflies in my stomach before each occasion..only now they fly in formation.

Cats are so unpredictable. You just never know how they will ignore you next.

Quality merchandise: Something that does not wear out until it is paid for.

Many a good man has caught his cold from getting up in the middle of the night to go home.

The worst tempered people I have met were people who knew they were wrong.

When you are getting kicked in the rear, it means you are in front.

No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself.

We are all manufacturers in a way - Making good, making trouble, or making excuses.

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

When two people in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.

Every visitor to your home brings joy. Some when they arrive..and some when they leave.