Jacob Remmington awoke in a daze. He couldn’t remember anything from last night. Or from last week, for that matter. Actually, he did remember eating that really good ham sandwich last Monday, but that was about it.
He was still so tired he didn’t even want to open his eyes. He could tell something was wrong. Had he slept in the neighbor’s flowerbed again? No, if that had happened Mrs. Kensings would have sprayed him with the hose already. He was glad about this: he really didn’t want to hear about how Mrs. Kensings had supposedly invented Cherry Coke®, a finely made product from The Coca-Cola Company®, available at your nearest soda-selling outlet!
Jacob decided that it was about time to open his eyes. He looked around, and saw that he was lying in a dumpster. He tried to wipe away the Crusty Stuff® in his eyes, but he couldn’t. He felt a yawn coming on, so he tried to cover his mouth, but failed. Why couldn’t Jacob do these things?
Jacob looked down at his arms, thinking he had injured them or something. Jacob realized the unimaginable. Jacob screamed.
Jacob was missing his arms.
It wasn’t as if they had been ripped off or anything: the skin was sealed as if he never had arms.
Jacob tried to think back. He seemed to remember having arms a while ago... Did he simply misplace his arms? Were they stolen? Jacob wanted to continue thinking, but he had to cut it short when he heard the dump truck coming.
Why does Jacob have no arms? What happened to them? Will Jacob escape the dump truck? And, most importantly, how the heck did Jacob make that ham sandwich last Monday if he didn’t have any arms? All this will be explained in the next installment of:
The Absolutely Super Adventures of Jacob Remmington!
