...if the superstars realize that fanny packs are no longer cool.

...if fanny packs were ever cool.

...if Y2J realizes that he always has that little line in his hair from his pony-tail.

...if Edge is really anorexic, and keeps losing weight, and that's why his pants are always falling down.

...if those really are socks in Christian's pants.

...if anyone else gets that language that Grandmaster Lawler...errr..Sexay speaks.

...if Shane knows that his chronic case of limp wrist does nothing for his image except further the suspicion that he is, indeed, a friend of Dorothy.

...if Vince is aware that his "Gulp of Fear" is incredibly goofy.

...if Chris Be-noit knows the location of his missing tooth.

...if he got money from the tooth fairy for it.

...if Steve Blackman will look the same when he's 100.

...if X-Pac thinks that he sucks.

...if JR secretly plots ways to do away with Paul Heyman.

...if the Rock goes home at night, looks in the mirror, does the People's Eyebrow and can't take himself seriously.

...if Stephanie owns a hairbrush, but just doesn't know how to use it.

...if someone told Stephanie that her hair looks good crimped.

...if Michael Cole would make a good-looking woman.

...if Michaels Hays will ever give it up.

...if the rest of the Divas argue about who is the trashiest.

...if Debra knows the she doesn't look like she's 20 any more, no matter how much she wishes she was.