Guest speaker, Marsha Meckler, spoke on the topic of re-integration on returning to native country after living abroad: ‘When coming home doesn’t feel like home anymore’.

Children (and adults) can feel as much culture shock returning home as they did going abroad, maybe even more so, as often they do not prepare themselves in the same way that they do for an overseas posting. Teenagers are often the ones that suffer the most as they feel the pressure to ‘fit in’ the most. The longer you have lived abroad and the more you have interacted with the local community, the harder the change is likely to be, particularly if the difference in cultures is great. However, if you have transitioned before and if you have maintained strong ties with your home country it will be easier.

Marsha emphasised the importance of saying goodbyes as well as preparing for new hellos. Ensure that you’re children have the contact details that they need in order to keep in touch with old friends. It is important that they also have photographs/ videos to remind them and are allowed to keep items that are precious to them (even if we regard them as junk) in the packing process.

In terms of preparing them for the move back home, it is important to talk to them about it and their expectations.

Once home, parents should try to help them to make new friends, seeking out activities that they enjoy and can find others with similar interests. However, it is important to encourage them NOT to talk too much to ‘friends’ about their experiences abroad as it can sound like bragging to those who have more limited experiences. Encourage them to instead discuss their feelings and to invite two way communication in terms of askng others what they’ve been up to etc,.

Marsha also underlined the importance of buying them (especially teenagers) the right clothes so that they at least look as though they blend in!

Maintaining family routines such as mealtimes, regular family activities is important too.

Be AVAILABLE for your children (sometimes difficult in the busyness of moving, finding new home, job etc) and allow them to be negative sometimes, although try to emphasise the positives of the move to them.

Maintain a good sense of humour and allow time- for some children it can take up to 6-12 months to settle. If they are still not happy after this you may need to seek expert help.