10:00 am

Nathan Herrero has been missing for a month now. He disappeared without a trace. There were signs of a struggle in his apartment, but no other clues. It was a clean grab, no forced entry. His body has not been found. It’s like he was snatched out of thin air.

I’ve spent the last month looking for any clues as to what happened, but there has been nothing. The closest I’ve gotten is a young detective at the police department, Matt Sung, who told me there is an ongoing investigation, but that all the files are sealed. He is the only one in the police department who didn’t give me the brush-off. He seems to have integrity, a rare quality in the police force these days. I’d like to get to know him better. I need more people like him in my life. But he couldn’t help me much either. He doesn’t have access to the files, or even know who is running the investigation. For all I know, the police killed Nathan themselves. They have plenty to hide.

In the past few years, I’ve lived for my work with Nathan. There is nothing else of value in my life. My wife is long gone, and the rest of my family might as well be. They look down on me and talk to me in their condescending tones, like I’m a small child to be humored, writing my little stories and playing at saving the world. But I can’t be one of them anymore. It took me a long time to get my eyes off myself, but now I can’t turn back. I’m just grateful to Nathan for opening my eyes and helping me see the world in a completely different way. What am I going to do without Nathan here? He was my mentor, my leader. I did a lot of research for his stories, but I never took point on any of his investigations. I never truly put myself in the line of fire, not in the way Nathan did every day.

I completed the transfer of Nathan’s files to my system today. Months ago, he gave me full access to his files, telling me that he wouldn’t be around forever, but I didn’t expect to lose him without any warning. I never expected to be responsible for the whole informant network. I’ve been looking through his records, at the hundreds of contacts and dozens of open files. How am I going to get their stories out? How am I going to protect these people? We have lost too many like Nathan lately. Countless journalists have lost their lives trying to prevent or just slow down our nation’s back slide. But it has been a losing battle. We’re losing journalists and informants faster than we can take down the corrupt officials we’ve been trying to hold accountable. Something has to change soon or we will end up in a worse disaster than we are in now.

We need a system that protects the informant and the journalist at each level of contact, making them untraceable to each other. We also need maximum media exposure if we want to effect any lasting change. Print media won’t work because of limited circulation and government censorship. Even if we had our own underground paper, all those who were involved in production and distribution would be at risk of exposure. It would be almost impossible to protect a massive operation like that.

The other option is an anonymous ‘cyberpaper’. With the encryption technology that is still available, we could effectively protect the informants and the journalists. But the limitation again is circulation. The internet today is so disjointed. Only fragments of a puzzle remain. What am I thinking? Most people don’t even have access to a computer any more. We would be publishing to a privileged few, the ones least likely to care about change in their insulated world. I know because I live in that world.

I have no idea what I’m going to do. The way things are going now, the thugs and powerbrokers are winning. I don’t know if I can go on fighting this losing battle.

3:00 pm

I’ve been reading Orwell’s 1984 again. Our society is so much like his police state, where personal freedom is sacrificed and individuals no longer have any value. My uncle’s hoverdrones have brought us even closer to that world of constant surveillance, to that world of Big Brother, and of hidden eyes constantly watching us through television screens in every room. We need a reverse "Big Brother" who watches the powerful on the public’s behalf, a larger than life hero who stands for freedom. We need someone that we can look up to.

Maybe as in Orwell’s world, television could solve our distribution problem. It is the one technology that is still widely available after the Pulse. There isn’t quite a set in every room, but even those living in abandoned cars have access to it. I’ve seen them with their tiny screens, using the frame of the car as an antenna to catch signals. But traditional broadcasting will give us the same problems as using the print media. We wouldn’t be able to adequately protect the production crew. We need something more covert with a minimum number of people required to operate it.

11:30 pm

I haven’t been able to get the television broadcasting idea out of my head all day, and I think I have a solution. It will be the perfect blend of the security and extensive media exposure we need. All we really need is to be able to strategically broadcast short news bulletins as stories develop. If we intercepted existing signals, we would also have a built in audience. Hijacking a cable signal is relatively simple. With some added equipment, I could probably do it from right here in my apartment. We will also need an announcer, but for obvious reasons, we won’t be able to reveal his face. We could use a blank screen or maybe just show his eyes. It would make him more real, more effective. He will be there watching, but he will be untraceable because the only thing visible about him will be his eyes, his eyes only. Eyes Only? It might work.

EYES ONLY – MISSION STATEMENT

To restore America to freedom and prosperity by exposing corruption and abuse in all levels of business and government, and by bringing those responsible to justice.

I have a feeling EYES ONLY will change my life in ways I haven’t even considered and, hopefully, it will change this country as well. It will need a lot more thought and a lot of work before it becomes a reality, but it may be possible. I don’t know if I can pull it off, but I have to do something. Things can’t go on as they are.