46

What an awesome day! I played the best basketball game in my life and I’ve even got the date of my dreams for Bennett’s wedding!

It began as a near disaster though. Even when Jonas is not around he can make me screw up. I had been looking forward to asking Max to go to the wedding with me, but instead I made a last ditch attempt at backing out. All I succeeded in doing was hurting Max. Even though she had other plans, I could hear the hurt in her voice when she told me to have a good time. She thought I had changed my mind about asking her to be my date. That was absolutely not what I meant. I would never be embarrassed to have Max go anywhere with me. It was my family I was concerned about, not her. Thank God I was somehow able to convey that to her. When I told Max my concerns she smiled. "Sounds like fun." She said. I don’t know about fun, but she did make me feel that it was an honor to be Bennett’s best man. I just need to remember that, regardless of how nervous I am. She was even willing to change her plans so she could go with me. How lucky could I be?

While she was at the court, Max caught the last few minutes of our game. She couldn’t believe that we would ‘kill ourselves’ like that when there wasn’t any money involved. She must have seen me bounce off the pole trying to make a basket, though that’s nothing compared to what we regularly do to ourselves during a game. I have been out on that court everyday this week. I can’t get enough of it. I spent eight hours there on Wednesday trying to burn off some of the aggression I was carrying from our encounters with Bruno and the Reds. Bling was right, if I didn’t do something I would have exploded. The game lasted only two hours, so I spent the remainder of the time running drills. After eight hours, my hands were so raw I could barely push the chair, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be so exhausted that I couldn’t think. I only went home when it became too dark to see the ball. If the city hadn’t discontinued funding night lighting in parks years ago, I would have stayed longer still.

I fully expected to be exhausted and sore on Thursday morning, but when I woke up I felt stronger than ever. This morning was the same. It seems that no matter how hard I work or how much I push myself, I can still do more. I’ve been playing basketball for months, but I’ve been doing things on the court recently that I never thought I could. I can’t even attribute it to the sports chair I picked up a couple of weeks ago. Sure, the extra tip wheel in the back adds some stability, but it’s more than that. I have strength and speed and accuracy. Even though I can’t walk, I feel that in some ways my body can do more now than ever before. Even the atrophy in my legs appears to have stopped progressing. Today, I had a hard time cinching the strap around my thighs. It was almost as if it was too small. Could it be that the atrophy has not only stopped progressing, but is reversing itself? How could that be even remotely possible? Whatever is happening, I appreciate this feeling of renewed strength. The truth is, the only time that I feel whole is when I’m playing ball. For once the chair isn’t a barrier but a part of me. It responds to my lead and works with me. I can compete and just enjoy the pure physicality of it. Hey, I even made the winning basket today.

And to top it all off, I’ve got the date of my dreams! It’s almost like some kind of high school cliché. The nerd, or in today’s case, the basketball star, asks the most beautiful girl in the school to the Valentine’s dance and she says yes. Well, today is Valentine’s Day and the ‘dance’ isn’t until tomorrow, but it still reminds me of Valentine’s Day when I was younger. I remember being a teenager nervously asking a girl to the school dance and always being surprised that she would want to go out with me. When I got older, I became much more cynical. I remember thinking, I’ve got the charm, I’ve got the cash. What more could a girl want? Now, I’m back to being a nervous high school kid again.

The thing that stands out the most for me, though, is how Dad would treat Mom on Valentine’s Day. For a manly man, he certainly made a big show of that day. He would buy Mom cards, flowers, chocolates, the works. He would call her his valentine and whisk her out the door for a romantic evening. I even tried to celebrate Valentine’s Day with Val when we were first married, but I don’t need to be reminded of what a disaster that was. Now, Valentines Day has fallen out of the nation’s consciousness. Who can afford to buy cards and chocolates and all the paraphernalia associated with Valentines Day? I’m glad Bennett hasn’t forgotten about Valentine’s Day. I suspect he had something to do with scheduling the wedding on Valentine’s Day weekend. When he talks about Marianne it reminds me of the way Dad used to look at Mom.

I’m looking forward to pulling Max away from work for a few hours tomorrow. I think she will be amused to see how the other quarter of one percent lives. It won’t be quite relaxing, but with Max around I think I might be able to survive this ‘family’ event. In any case, weddings, even a Cale wedding, do have a hopeful spirit about them. I could use a little hope in my life right now.