9:00 am

I walked to the waterfront this morning. I left the wheelchair behind and just walked out my door. I never understood before how freeing an act just stepping off a curb and walking across a street could be. I had walked along those streets to the waterfront many times in the past, but today everything was new. The world looked so different to me. When I reached the beach, I slipped off my shoes and made my way to the water’s edge, reveling in the grittiness of the sand under my feet. From that littered, polluted beach, I could see the pier where Max and I stood on Thursday night, and I realized why I had come back there. I wanted to revisit that miraculous place that we had shared Thursday night. I remembered how wonderful the world appeared then, but it was even more beautiful this morning. On Thursday, it was a world full of promise. Now the promises have been fulfilled.

Max arrived a few minutes later. She instinctively knew exactly where to find me. She brought me news of a fresh chicken at home and elicited a promise from me for Poulet Chez Cale for dinner. I tried to tell her how the world had changed for me, but I didn’t need to say much. I could tell from her eyes that she knew. I couldn’t quite convince her, though, to walk with me in the water. She doesn’t quite understand the miracle of cold water lapping over your feet, or what a wonderful sensation it is to feel a shiver work its way up your legs. She doesn’t understand the wonder of goose-bumps on your skin. I wasn’t going to let her miss out on this, so I just used the conveniently placed hook on my cane to bring her close to me. Max slipped into my arms so easily, forgetting about the freezing water around her ankles. That was the closest we have ever been, with our arms comfortably wrapped around each other. We were back in that place, perfectly connected.

Tonight is going to be beautiful. Max will come over. We will drink our wine. We will eat. We will be together. I don’t know what I will say to her, but it doesn’t matter. We have a connection now and it is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced. I have never felt like this before. My life is full of sensations, the sand under my feet, the warmth of Max in my arms and the freezing water around my ankles. I can feel everything. I can do anything.

7:00 pm

"Things are different now, if you know what I mean." Bling started hounding me the moment I told him Max was coming over for dinner and he didn’t stop all afternoon.

I told him I didn’t know what he meant. But he wouldn’t leave it alone. He wouldn’t even give me the space to choose a shirt for tonight. And that was only the beginning. How was I supposed to cook with Bling in the background talking about how it’s a whole new ball game? Then he called me a nervous wreck. It’s a miracle that I didn’t slice my finger off listening to him. Who wouldn’t be nervous around him?

I’ve been looking forward to having Max over all day. I remember the spark of anticipation in her eyes when we confirmed our dinner date this morning. She couldn’t wait for this evening and neither can I. I have no reason to be nervous. But Bling hasn’t helped things at all with his not so well placed comments. The gun is loaded. What is that supposed to mean? What does he expect to happen between Max and I? We have a special connection and a wonderful friendship. Why would I want to do anything to jeopardize that? But Bling continued to insist that things were different now. He stirred everything up and then he left. He left with that ‘Logan’s got a date look’ still plastered all over his face. He actually left so we could be ‘alone’. I can’t believe him! We are just having dinner. We have dinner all the time. What is so different about that? I should have no reason to be nervous.

Max will be here shortly and I am surprised at how much I am anticipating her visit. It is just a dinner after all. But I have to admit that now that Max is almost here, I am feeling a little nervous.

Don’t I have a right to be a little nervous? Especially now that anything and everything is possible.