WPCTS11

“That didn’t take long,” Rachel said cheerfully as she opened the door for Harvey. Then she saw his expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked with her heart in her throat. The last time she had seen that look on his face, Evan had died.

Harvey pushed passed her and looked around her apartment. The table had been set with her china and candles. More candles were burning in the living room where soft music was playing and then there was the chicken cacciatore. He turned around to face her. “What was all this for, Rach?” he asked. “Were you softening me up for something? Or trying to make up for something?”

She shook her head in confusion. She had no idea what was behind such a cryptic question. “I made it because I wanted to surprise you.”

“With what? The dinner or the fact that you’re seeing Nash?”

She felt all of the blood in her body rush to her head, then drain out again rapidly. Her mouth dropped open in shock. He knows! “It’s not what you think,” she said, than wished that she could take back her words in the next breath when she saw him wince.

He couldn’t even look at her. “Tell me you were working on a case,” he demanded. “Tell me that Nash was Teddy Malone and you were just part of the scam.”

Rachel choked on the words she wished she could utter. She wanted to tell him that it was all an act, but she couldn’t lie to him. Not if they were going to have a real chance. She couldn’t lie to him. “You have no idea how badly I wish that I could say that.”

Harvey’s eyes squeezed shut as he put a hand to his face. He wanted to cuss, to yell, to put his fist through the wall. “This is not happening,” he said through clenched teeth, trying to deny what he was thinking, what he was feeling.

“No Harvey, it’s not happening.” She latched onto his denial, desperate for anything that would convince him. “It was a stupid, stupid mistake. I was scared and Nash was only trying to help. That’s it. Please, Harvey, you’ve got to believe me.”

“Do I?” he asked and looked up at her once more. He never would have thought that this would be happening with Rachel. He would have staked his life on it. “I believed that we would never be in this situation. How stupid am I?”

With that, Harvey walked out of her apartment. He hadn’t even made it to the PT Cruiser when his cell phone started to ring. “Yeah, what?”

“Harvey?” she said hesitantly at the tone of his voice. “It’s Anna. I need your help. Jerry is running a fever and I just ran out of Tylenol. He’s throwing up all over the place and I don’t want...”

“Okay Anna,” he interrupted. “I’ll be there as quick as I can.” He slapped his cell phone closed as he took a moment to stare out into the darkness of the street. He wanted to confront Nash, but now was apparently not the time. His son came first over anyone else.

* * *

Rachel’s hands were trembling and her heart was racing as she punched in Nash’s home number. The surgery scar that had been mending quickly suddenly seemed to take a turn for the worse, her entire side burning like fire. “Nash it’s Rachel,” she said on a sob as she fought to contain herself. “Harvey knows what happened between us this afternoon.”

“What?” Nash said, completely stunned. “How could he possibly know?”

“I have no idea how he found out, but he just confronted me about it.”

Nash swore under his breath. “Tell me what happened.”

The tears went unchecked as she squeezed her eyes closed. She had to keep it together. She had to figure out how to make it right. “He thinks that we’re seeing each other,” she said with a reasonably calm voice. “I told him that it was just a mistake, but he left. I didn’t even have the chance to explain.”

“Do you think he’s coming here?”

She shook her head as she fought to swallow past the lump in her throat. “I don’t know. He’s not exactly giving me his itinerary at the moment.”

“Hang in there Rach. We’ll get this straightened out.” His eyes rose to Victoria’s who was sitting across the counter from him in the kitchen as he hung up the phone.

Victoria gave him a lazy smile. “Why do I have a feeling that there is suddenly something that we need to talk about?” she asked.

* * *

Harvey closed his eyes for a moment after tapping on Anna’s door. It was hard to concentrate. He had actually turned up the wrong street on the way there and ended up having to backtrack four blocks. He told himself that he had to think of Jerry, to put aside his typically screwed up love life and focus on his son. When the door opened, he was surprised to see Anna fighting with the belt of her robe. “Did I catch you in the shower?” he assumed from her damp hair.

“I just jumped in to get the last projectile vomiting shooting gallery targets off of me,” she answered, taking his arm to pull him inside.

Harvey grimaced. He had been there for that scene more than once. “I guess he still has good aim.”

“And he always looks right at you as it’s coming up even if he’s standing over the commode,” she returned, shaking her head as she toweled off her hair. Something was definitely wrong, she surmised as she searched his face. He had his mask put securely in place. “Just give me two seconds,” she pleaded, then padded off down the hallway.

Harvey took the drugstore supplies into the kitchen and dumped them out on the counter to sort through them. By the time Anna had returned, he already had a drink and the medicine ready. “I picked up some Pedialite for Jerry to drink tonight, but I got some of the ice pops for him tomorrow. I already stuck the pops in the freezer.”

Anna sighed heavily as she smiled at him. She could always count on him where Jerry was concerned. “Thank you, Harvey, so much! I didn’t even think about the Pedialite and Jerry just loves those ice thingies.” She could tell from their brief phone call that Harvey was not in a good mood and she recognized that look on his face. He had been hurt. Badly. He had given her that look once when he found out that she was adding their current affair to the movie script of her life. She would never forget it.

Harvey nodded, then waited for Anna to take him back to Jerry’s room, but she didn’t move. “Is he awake?” he asked pointedly.

“Oh! No,” she returned, then giggled. She had been so lost in thought that she forgot why he was there in the first place. “I’m sorry. My brain won’t slow down enough to let me think,” she explained as she lead him back to their son’s room. “He conked out about fifteen minutes ago,” she told him as she stood at the door while Harvey went over to the bed.

“Hey buddy,” Harvey whispered as he brushed Jerry across the brow to rouse him. He smiled when his son immediately grabbed his hand to stop him. Jerry had suddenly decided last week that he was too old to have his hair “tamed” by his parent’s loving hand. Apparently, he was adamant enough about it to resist even sick. “Your mom tells me that you aren’t feeling well so I stopped in to bring you some medicine.” He pulled the covers back slightly. “I want you to sit up here and drink this for me.”

Jerry was a limp rag as Harvey coaxed him into taking the Tylenol and drinking most of the Pedialite. Harvey looked up at Anna and smiled. There was something so perfect about that moment as he held his son in his arms. It still put him in awe that Jerry was a part of him. He was so perfect. So pure. He treasured moments like that. He put several light kisses on Jerry’s fevered brow, then slid him back into bed.

Anna was leaning against the wall in the hallway as Harvey made his way out of Jerry’s room. “He’s out,” he told her unnecessarily. “We’ll check his temp again in about half an hour to make sure it’s going down.”

She smiled as she scanned his face. She had made so many mistakes with Harvey and now she wondered if she would actually have the chance to make up for them. “Would you like something to drink?” she asked hopefully.

“Absolutely,” he said without hesitation. If there ever was a night he wanted something to drink, that was it. He followed Anna back into the kitchen and started to collect the drug store supplies to push them out of the way while Anna searched her refrigerator.

“Looks like our choice is beer or wine,” she said from behind the door.

“A beer will work.” He twisted the cap off once she handed it to him, then took a long drink. He felt the knife twisting in his gut once more when his mind flashed back to the pictures that Samuel had shown him and he took another shot from the bottle to try to drown it.

Anna’s mouth dropped open slightly as she watched him, but she didn’t comment. Something had to have happened between Harvey and Rachel for him to be so brooding, she surmised, which would explain why he saw their relationship as more than just friends like he told Officer Drake that morning. Perhaps she was going to get a chance to find out if three would be the charm or a strike out. “I can’t tell you how much it means to Jerry to have you come over in the middle of the night like this,” she told him. “He was asking for you earlier, but I was afraid that you would still be working.”

“Anna! You shouldn’t worry about that. You should have called,” he told her. “I would have been here a lot sooner,” he said, then thought to himself that it would have saved him from knowing the truth if he had only gotten the call before visiting Samuel Chon.

“How is the investigation going?” she asked curiously.

He hesitated for a moment, then recalled the episode that morning which had pulled him out of Rachel’s arms. If only he had known what that day would bring. “We’ve got several leads to go after,” he finally said, forcing himself to concentrate on the here and now. “We know Charles was into something and we’re pretty sure what, but what we need to find out is who.”

“So you’re checking into his personal background then?”

“As much as possible. Listen, I want to apologize again for Sarah Drake’s display this morning. She tends to be a little gung ho and, from what I understand, she’s in a bit of hot water at work already.”

“I’m not surprised,” Anna returned with a smile. “And you shouldn’t be apologizing for her. You were the one that rescued me, remember?” She took the two steps across the small kitchen so that she could be closer to him. Her hands automatically going to the drugstore items that he had brought for Jerry, but she wasn’t seeing what she was supposedly looking at.

Harvey glanced down at his beer bottle. “Yeah, I’m a regular hero,” he said sarcastically.

Setting aside the supplies, Anna reached up and placed her hand on his cheek so that he would look in her direction. “You are a hero to Jerry,” she said softly. “And to me.” She moved closer still as she slipped her fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck. “You always have been.” Her lips brushed against his in a feather-light caress. When he didn’t pull away, her arm snaked around his waist.

All of the images that had been tormenting him were suddenly gone. The familiar scent of her shampoo carried his mind back to a time when things were much different between them. His eyes closed as their lips met for a second time and he slowly wrapped his arms around her. It felt so good to have her in his arms again. Her body curved into his and he responded by holding her tighter. No one could ignite his passion the way that Rachel could.

“No, no,” Anna whispered when Harvey suddenly pulled away. “Stay with me,” she pleaded as she reached out for him again.

Harvey held her at arm’s length as everything that happened that night came rushing back to him. “I can’t do this,” he told her. His eyes locked with hers. He wasn’t sure exactly what had initiated the passion, but he knew that it was wrong. He couldn’t do that to Anna or to Rachel. “I’m sorry. I...” He didn’t even know what to say. He had never been at such a loss. “I’m going to check on Jerry,” he said instead and walked out of the kitchen.

He sat with Jerry for several minutes, whispering to him his favorite bedtime story about Woodstock. Harvey’s heart lightened as he recanted the story he had embellished for Jerry’s entertainment. Jerry even let him run his fingers through his hair without complaint.

“Woody,” Jerry whispered in his sleep.

Harvey smiled as he wiped the damp tendrils of hair from his son’s forehead. “You love that story so much, we should call you Woody.” The revelation in his words hit him like a bolt of lightning. “Woody,” he said again as he looked at Jerry.

“Woody,” Jerry whispered again.

He smiled down at his son as he held his small hand. No matter what else happened in his life, he would always have Jerry. No matter what the future held for him, Harvey would always cherish the moment his son came into his life.

Sometime later, Harvey eased back into the kitchen where Anna was loading the dirty dishes from the day into the dish washer. “His fever has broke,” he told her as he leaned against the counter. He watched her for a long moment as she continued cleaning. “I think I should probably go.” Again he waited for a response from her, but when he got none, he started to leave.

It was then that Anna reached out for him. She didn’t look up, just reached out and grabbed his hand. Harvey looked down at their joined hands, then gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. He knew that there could never be anything serious between them again, he couldn’t trust her, but it still felt good to know that he was wanted.

* * *

Harvey sighed heavily at the persistent knock. Somehow he wasn’t surprised to be having a visitor at three o’clock in the morning. He wasn’t sleeping anyway. It was one of those nights when his brain wouldn’t shut down, making him restless. Too many elements were assaulting him. Jerry. Anna. Rachel. Nash. His life couldn’t be more out of control. That is, until he opened the door.

His jaw clenched involuntarily as he held Nash’s steady gaze. “We need to talk,” Nash said softly.

Harvey had to fight his gut reaction. “I’m warning you right now,” he said with a calm, even voice. “My first instinct is to punch you right in the mouth.”

The corners of his mouth rose slightly. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” he returned, then braced himself. “I’ll accept a split lip if that’s what it takes to make this right.”

Harvey surprised himself by smiling then. “Don’t tempt me man. I am seriously pissed off at you right now.”

“And you have every right to be,” he said, then held his chin up. “You may never get another chance.”

“Good point,” Harvey said, then punched him.

Nash hit the ground with a thud. He looked up at Harvey in surprise as he reached up to touch his bloody lip. “Damn Harv.”

“I warned you,” he said as he flexed his hand painfully.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

He had to smile then as he looked down at him. Somehow, that had made him feel better. “Come on inside and I’ll get you some ice.”

Nash heard the sound of the Grateful Dead coming from somewhere in the house as he followed Harvey into the kitchen. It was obvious that he didn’t wake Harvey up. “You’ve got a nice right cross.”

He shook his head again as he pushed the ice wrapped in a towel into Nash’s hand. “I never thought I would be using it on you, bro,” Harvey returned, the cold tone of his voice a witness to the hurt inside. “At least not in this situation.”

He had no idea how to tell Harvey how sorry he was. “I can’t tell you why or even how it happened, but I think I’ve got a good idea of what was behind it.”

Harvey debated for a moment if he wanted to even be having that conversation, then decided that he couldn’t walk away from two of the most important people in his life without trying to make peace. “Let’s have it,” he returned as he folded his arms over his chest.

Nash had to cleared his throat because of the blood he swallowed as he faced his friend. “We’ve been keeping a pretty low profile, but Victoria and I have been seeing each other quite a bit lately. It’s getting pretty serious...on my part at least.” He shook his head as he thought about how much he wanted things to work out with Victoria. “You and I both know that I haven’t had the best track record as far as relationships are concerned. Two failed marriages doesn’t exactly inspire confidence at making a third attempt.”

Harvey’s mouth dropped open slightly. He had no idea that Nash was still seeing Victoria Castle, let alone be interested enough to be hinting at marriage. He thought about that bit of information for a long moment. It certainly gave him a different perspective. Nash and Victoria. The higher ups wouldn’t be too thrilled at having one of their captains associated with a former girlfriend of a major drug lord.

“I think Rachel was feeling basically the same way,” he continued. “You know what her life has been like a lot better than I do. She’s had to fight for everything she’s gotten.” Nash swallowed again as he searched his friends face for any sign that he was getting through. “She loves you, Harvey. It’s just a little hard for her to believe that she could have everything that she’s always wanted.” When Harvey remain silent, he leaned closer to catch his eye. “There’s nothing going on between us. There never has been and there never will be.” He shook his head. “You do what you have to do to get through this, but don’t walk away.”

Harvey searched his face. He wanted to believe Nash, but the pain was still too fresh, too raw. “I’m sorry Nash, but I can’t just brush this one off.” Now it was his turn to swallow hard. “The two people who I trusted most just blindsided me. Excuse me if that tends to knock my world a little off kilter.”

Nash had to look away. He knew that Harvey would be hurt, but he hadn’t realized how painful it would be to see. He cleared his throat again, then touched the makeshift ice pack to his lip for just a second. He knew that there was nothing more that he could say or do and that bothered him more than anything. He didn’t want to lose a friend like Harvey. He hated having his hands tied, but he knew that the ball was in Harvey’s court now. “Thanks for the ice,” he said as he put the pack back onto the counter, then turned and left.

Harvey stood staring at the spot of blood on the towel filled with ice as the displaced reality of his situation hit him. He couldn’t remember feeling this lost even when Evan died. The irony of the fact that he was happy to know that Nash had someone special in his life was what gave him pause. Why was he finding it so easy to forgive Nash, but not Rachel? And it wasn’t like he couldn’t understand how a spontaneous kiss could happen considering what had transpired between him and Anna earlier.

He flexed his hand, then looked down at the red marks on his knuckles. He knew that the marks would be gone by morning, but it was the fact that they had come from punching Nash that bothered him most. Nothing seemed real.

He sighed heavily, then walked back to his bedroom where the Grateful Dead bootleg tape was playing. He scooped up his beer as he walked over to the open window. He remembered that concert well. He was nineteen years old and had just fallen in love for the second time that summer. She was following the Dead just as he was. He shook his head at his naivety of youth, then started to take a drink out of his bottle when a box on his chest of drawers caught his attention. It was an old, hand-carved wooden box, beautifully ornate, but that didn’t really register with him as he walked over to his chest of drawers and opened it.

He sat his beer aside once more as he pulled out a small box. He ran his thumb over the velvet surface for several seconds before flipping it open to reveal the ring inside. He had wanted to give Rachel the ring on their weekend together, but it hadn’t returned from the engravers in time. He looked inside the band to see the words “You’re worth the effort”.

He had gone to at least thirty five different jewelry stores until he found the perfect ring for Rachel. The full carat diamond was heart shaped and surrounded by vines of white gold. The tip of one vine curled gracefully over the center of the heart and, at the base of the heart were two white gold roses. He knew the moment he saw it that he was going to propose to Rachel with that ring. The engraving was the final touch. “You’re worth the effort.”

His lips twisted at the words. Apparently she didn’t feel quite the same about him. He was putting his heart and soul into their relationship, but she was still holding back. He already knew first hand what happened when that kind of relationship ended. Bonnie had hurt him in the worst possible way by walking out on him on Christmas Eve “to find herself”.

His shook his head sadly. The women in his life seemed to find all kinds of new ways to torture him. His mind drifted back to the kiss that he had shared with Anna. He wasn’t really sure what was behind that kiss, but he was certain of what Anna had in mind when she asked him to stay. He didn’t relish the thought of hurting her in return. “Looks like it’s going to be a long day tomorrow,” he whispered as he slipped the ring back into the box. This would be his second night without any sleep.

* * *

Nash’s brows drew together when Rachel opened the door. It was obvious that she had been crying, but there was something more. “Are you feeling alright?” he asked as he stepped inside. Her shirt was untucked and she looked as if she had been sleeping fitfully.

“Have you talked to Harvey?” she countered as she backed up to let him into her apartment. Just then she saw his split lip and drew in a sharp breath. “Did he do that?” she asked in shock.

“Yeah, that’s what I get for sticking my chin out. I just left from there.” He reached out to grab her arm when she began to cough. He looked around quickly and found a box of tissues. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” she argued. “What happened? What did he say?” She started coughing once more, shocking both of them when she coughed up blood.

“The hell you are. I’m calling Harvey and getting you to a hospital.”

“No!” She grabbed his arm to stop him. “I’ll go to the hospital with you, but don’t call Harvey.” She started coughing again and had to lean on Nash to keep from collapsing.

* * *