Dance with me

The insane musings of the authoress: Yes, I know. Corny title, corny ideas, corny 'It's my first Artemis Fowl fic, go easy on me' line. But hopefully my writing isn't corny. Oh well, you can decide for yourself by reading this.

Cornyness aside, I quite like this little one-shot. ^_~

Disclaimer: Hey, don't you hate these things? *Sigh* Anyway, Artemis Fowl and all associated belong to the very talented Irish author (Hey, I'm Irish too, yay me!) Eoin Colfer.

Dance With Me

An Artemis/Juliet oneshot by Shattered Midnight Dreams

"Juliet, I thought I told you. I. Cannot. Dance."

Sixteen-year-old Artemis Fowl stood in the centre of the large, bare wooden-floored room, his arms crossed and his eyes glaring at one Juliet Butler.

Juliet laughed her tinkling, carefree laugh.

"Arty, you did tell me, and in no uncertain terms, either."

"Quite right. So I am sure you will agree that we are wasting our time even being here," Artemis said, as he turned towards the large double doors.

Juliet sighed, the sudden gust of hair ruffling her loose blonde hair.

"Look, I taught my brother to dance, I can sure as hell teach you, Arty."

"I am inclined to think the opposite, Juliet," Artemis said coldly.

Juliet made a noise of annoyance.

"Look," she said, in as civil a voice as she could muster, "wouldn't you like to be able to dance? What about the next school dance? How will you dance with the girls if you don't know how?"

Artemis rolled his eyes.

"I am not going to the next school dance, or any of them, for that matter."

He spoke as if dances were silly, unnecessary things and a stupid idea to boot.

Juliet laughed again, and immediately Artemis was annoyed. Why was she laughing at him?

Oh, you are so different from me, Arty. I would so love to go to a dance… Wear a pretty dress and do my hair all nice… And whirl around the room without a care in the world…"

And suddenly her face was sad, and her beautiful eyes were melancholy.

"Oh, Juliet, don't be sad…" Artemis said slowly, his bad grasp of finer emotions letting him down at this point. He rested his hand on her shoulder, for although he was younger than her, he had grown an awful lot during the last few years, so that he could look down on her easily.

"Please, Arty, let me teach you to dance," Juliet said in a quiet voice, her long lashes fanning her cheeks. Artemis laughed.

"You know, that sounds like a really corny chat-up line."

"Maybe it is..." Juliet murmured seductively. That sure shut Artemis up.

"Uh- uh o-okay then…" he said, unusually inarticulate.

Juliet laughed her little laugh again. "How odd, Artemis Fowl at a loss for words…" She directed Artemis on where to place his hands, and found it rather endearing when colour crept into his pale face when she placed his large hands on her slender waist.

After further instruction on what step to do, what speed to go at, and what pattern to move in, Juliet felt they were ready to go.

"Ready?" Juliet asked, and switched on the music.

Artemis gulped.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea, after all, Juliet," he said uncertainly.

"Oh, come on, Why not?" she asked.

"Juliet, my co-ordination is abhorrent, I am afraid."

Juliet sighed, rolled her eyes and told him, with much authority, to go. And that didn’t sound like a suggestion to Artemis. It sounded like an order. And so they began to dance around the large ballroom that his parents threw parties in, and Artemis was surprised to find that he didn't even step on Juliet's toes once, for which he was very glad, as it would have been embarrassing.

"Hey," Juliet whispered into his ear, which was difficult as he was a good five inches taller than her. "You're pretty good at this."

Artemis shivered as her hot breath fanned the sensitive skin. "Well, don't sound so surprised!" he whispered back in mock annoyance.

Juliet laughed again and her blonde hair caught the light when they whirled past the window.

And as the music ended Artemis pulled Juliet closer, and her eyes fluttered closed. When she could feel Artemis's lips hovering centimetres above her own, she murmured:

"And that, Artemis Fowl, is how to dance."

Artemis grinned and Juliet could feel his lips just about brush against hers when one of the double doors was flung open, and Butler stood there. Both Artemis and Juliet heard him come in, and Juliet's eyes flew open, Artemis let go of her and they pushed each other away.

'Oh, how cute,' Butler thought, 'I don't think I've ever seen Artemis blush before, and Juliet does it very rarely…'

Realising that these were not suitable thoughts for a tough bodyguard, he banished them.

"Mrs Fowl sent me to look for you, Artemis. And I was wondering where you had got to, Juliet," and, as much as he tried, he couldn't help smiling at the whole situation.

"Oh, well, Juliet was just teaching me how to dance, Butler," Artemis said immediately, hoping fervently that despite the heat he could feel on his face that he wasn't blushing.

"Isn't that right, Juliet?" Artemis asked the silent, blushing girl.

"Oh, yes, right, of course, I was just teaching him how to kiss. I mean, no, dance, yeah, we were dancing, weren't we, Artemis?"

Butler could now easily have wet himself with suppressed laughter at this point, but his training allowed him to keep a straight face.

Artemis's head was in his hands at this point.

"And, in case you are wondering, I won't tell Mr or Mrs Fowl," Butler said with a wink.

Thank you, Butler," Artemis said.

"And I shall leave you two to get on with whatever it was you were doing… Whether kissing or dancing."

And Butler left the room, collapsing in laughter once he was sure he was out of earshot.

The two people left in the room were still in blush overdrive, but Artemis bravely said:

"Well, as they say, caught red-handed… Or, in our case, red-faced."

Juliet laughed.

"So, Miss Butler, would you grant me the pleasure of dancing with you again?" Artemis asked, his hand outstretched to her.

"Of course I shall, Mister Fowl," she replied, before crewing her pretty face up at the sound of it.

"What?" Artemis asked her.

"It sounds like I am addressing your father!" she said, and thought for a moment.

"I know what to say… Of course I shall dance with you again… My Arty."

And then they were off again, whirling around the large ballroom, oblivious to the watchful eye of Butler.

The End.

A.N. Dear God that was mushy. And corny, fluffy, waffy, sweet, cute… Just about anything that will give you a toothache. But I still like it. I don't know why. Maybe I am just insane. Anyway, don't flame just because you don't like the coupling, because that is not fair. I clearly stated the coupling in the summary, and if you don't like Artemis/Juliet then you shouldn't have read.

Has anyone read the new Artemis Fowl book, Eternity Code? It's so cool! I just finished it last week.

Anyway, do REVIEW, PLEASE!