Jim, with his girlfriend Lisa, left, and friend Jamie
Our longtime friend, Jim Carney, who chatted in GeoCities' SoHo as Killer Queen, was killed in a car accident early in August 2001.
Here's a copy of his obituary, from the New Orleans' Times-Picayune:
James T. "Jim" Carney, an architect for Baron Tupes Architectural Design, died Thursday at Medical Center of Louisiana of injuries received in a car accident. He was 23. Mr. Carney was born in Memphis, Tenn., and lived in New Orleans for the past four years. He graduated with honors from Memphis University and Tulane University. Mr. Carney was a member of the Eta Alpha Chapter of Tau Sigma Delta Honor Society. He was a four-time honoree on the dean's list and received honorable mention for his thesis. Mr. Carney was a member of Whitehaven Baptist Church in Memphis. Survivors include his parents, Stephen M. and Benita T. Carney, both of Memphis; his grandparents, Mach A. and Pauline S. Thurmond, both of Memphis; and a brother, Mark Stephen Carney of Memphis. A funeral will be held Tuesday at 2 p.m. at Whitehaven Baptist Church, 4800 Elvis Presley Blvd., Memphis. Visitation will be today from 5 to 8 p.m. at Memorial Park Funeral Home in Memphis. Burial will be in Forest Hill Cemetery Midtown.
Here is the eulogy by one of his closest friends since childhood:
17th century English historian and minister Thomas Fuller said, “If you have one true friend, you have more than your share.”
I am so lucky because Jim was my closest, dearest friend, a true friend through and through. Jim loved his friends, and he was the most loyal friend anyone could ever have. Anyone who knows me knows Jim, because I talk about him all the time, even to people who never met him.
I don’t have any wild, crazy stories to tell you today because Jim wasn’t that kind of guy. He didn’t need to be wild to have fun, which was good for me, because as any of my other friends will tell you, I can fall asleep anywhere, whether it’s in a comedy club, a lounge, or at home watching a movie, and he was very understanding of that.
Just being around each other was enough. We didn’t even need words to communicate. Sometimes when we were in a big group of people, we could tell what the other one was thinking just by looking at each other. I’d give him a look, and he’d give me one back indicating that he totally understood.
Sometimes I forgot that he was really the only one I could do this with, and I would try it with someone else. The response was usually, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Jim may have seemed shy to people who didn’t know him, but he was really a people person. He liked good food, good drink, good music, but most of all, he liked sharing them with his friends. He was never happier than when he was surrounded by his friends.
You’ve probably noticed that Jim is wearing a bowtie. Jim had never really worn bowties much, so I want to share a story with you. I was lucky enough to talk to Jim for two hours on Wednesday night, and during the course of this conversation he said, “Oh Ani! I have a new thing. My mother brought me a bowtie when she was down here. I just love it. I’m going to start collecting them and wearing them all the time. I look so good in a bowtie. You have to see me in a bowtie.”
Jim loved clothes. He liked to look sharp. When they weren’t sure if his suit and bowtie were going to arrive from New Orleans in time yesterday, plan B was for Jim to wear something else last night and then when the suit got here, he’d wear it today.
I told my parents yesterday, “Gosh, wouldn’t it be just like Jim to change clothes between the visitation and the funeral?” But he was right. He does look cute in a bowtie.
After my mother told me about the accident, I started thinking about the last two months and I really see the hand of God preparing his loved ones for this. Jim’s family went down for his graduation, watched Jim receive all these honors and spent a lot of time enjoying New Orleans, which was a city Jim loved so much.
Then Leslie got married, and thank goodness she didn’t elope like she had threatened, because all his high school group of friends were there, and we danced and talked and had a terrific time and took some beautiful pictures.
A couple of weeks ago, Leslie’s mom, Mrs. Carney, and Mark went to New Orleans to visit him, and they got to spend more quality time with Jim and his girlfriend Lisa, and also deliver this much beloved bowtie.
I called him Wednesday night, the night before the accident. Earlier in the year we had been talking about him moving up to DC and being my roommate. He was planning to come up this Friday to visit me and another friend, and to have job interviews, and I wanted to get details and to ask him if he wanted to go to the beach that weekend.
Jim was so happy, happier than I had ever seen him. He really liked Lisa, to the point that I knew I would be looking for one bedroom apartments, not two, because when it came down to it, he wasn’t going to leave New Orleans.
And he really liked his job. He loved what he was doing, he was with someone he really cared about, and that was really all he wanted.
Knowing that I talked to him the last possible time I could have talked to him and knowing that he was so happy has made it easier for me to let him go.
Jim and I both took Latin in high school, and we were in the combined MUS/Hutchison Latin 5 class senior year. It was basically our class, since there were only three of us, and Jim and I composed two thirds of it. We were self described “Latin Dorks.”
Jim loved languages, especially Latin, and he was like a brother to me, so I think it’s appropriate that I close with the last four words from a Catullus poem written about the death of his brother.
Frater, ave atque vale.
Brother, hail and farewell.
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All that I can add to that wonderful eulogy is, Jim, we are grateful to have had the time we did in SoHo chats with you. We will remember you fondly.
Donations can be sent to remember Jim, to his alma mater: Memphis University School, 6191 Park Ave., Memphis, TN 38119. Please write Attn: Development Office on the envelope, and mention Jim in your letter. Thanks.
March 2002 update: The man who took the lives of Jim & Lisa has plea bargained and will now spend many years in jail. That doesn't bring back our friends, but it may at least help with closure.