humor1

Jun Mescallado Humor Collections
HORORSCOPES

You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scorn advise. You are a prick.

You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell (when you work'). You turn most people off because you are stubborn and bull-headed and won't listen to reason

even tho' you know you are wrong. Taurus women and men great hustlers and bank robbers.

You are quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual. However, you inclined to expect too much for

too little. This means you are cheap. You are notorious for thriving on incest.

You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off;

that's why you'll always be on welfare and never worth a shit.

You consider yourself a born leader. Other thinks you are pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism.

Your arrogance is disgusting . Leos are always thieving bastards.

You are a logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold, and unemotional and often fall asleep while making love.

Virgos make good bus drivers or pimps.

You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If a man, you are likely to be homosexual, Chances for unemployment and monetary gains are excellent. Most Libra women are whores (hoes). All Libras die of venereal disease.

You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a

plu-perfect son-of-a-bitch! Most Scorpios are murdered. Thank God!

You are optimistic and enthusiastic types. You have a reckless tendency to rely luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are great actors and great lovers. You trust in people too much and can't see

any wrong in your fellow men. People laugh at you a great deal because you are always getting fucked.

You are too conservative and afraid of taking risk (except in love; you don't know when to quit, let go, forget it and begin again). You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of

any importance. Capricorns should avoid at all cost standing still for long periods of time as they tend to attract the pigeons who delight in decorating statues.

You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be

careless and impractical causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you are stupid bastard.

You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have a minor influence over your associates and people resent you for flaunting what little power you have. You lack confidence and generally are a coward. Pisces people screw small animals.