"I am bored. Where are things that are like crayons?" said MT and stared at Sassip.
"What goes with milk? HEADSPIKES! HEADSPIKES!" said Mike and pogoed through.
"UGH we haven't been able to find his hat in months," groaned Link.
"Why are you here?" said 6 & 1/2 rudely.
"Why are YOU here?" said Link tetchily.
"Oh oh Linky-poo-pie I bet you say that to ALLLLLL the girls don'tcha honeysweetums," said 6 & 1/2 coquettishly.
"AAAH!" said Link and backed away.
"I never said that......." said BT suspiciously.
"It was Micky's line," said Davy.
"It was Davy's line," said Link.
"HUH???!!!!!!" said MT and took Sassip's headspikes off and put them on his own head.
"OH OH you cannot do that!!!" said Sassip.
"Can't he, Sassip? CAN'T he?" said Al.
"Crown for me la la I am queen of the seabeasties!" said MT.
"No dearest you are kingypie," said Al pleasantly.
"Oh my stars she's senile," said Micky pogoing.
"HUH?!" said Micky.
"Oh, that was me," said Mike.
"Why were you me?" said Micky.
"Because I was not Davy."
"Oh."

"I am ... a thing ... with a headyspike on my heady feeeylowwwer squishy squishy in a brook ask me no more questions," said MT happily and drooled.
"Ew," remarked weeny 6 & 1/2 BT.
"I want not to be a seabeast," said Mike grumblyly.
"HUH?!!!!" said Peter who was confused by the atrocious vocabularimazatiomans.
"Mike would look better with those headspikes," said BT.
"OH OH OH!!! NO NO IT WAS MY plotty idea for MINE to be carrying it out for me my story it's me me me eeeeeeeeeeee!!" MT wailed.
"Oh ugh TAKE your stupid plot I dun WANT it anyway," said 6 & 1/2 weeny beastie and stalked away muttering something about fool Micky lookalikes of undetermined age.
"What was it?" said Peter.
"BITE ME!" said BT.
"Oh well that was unprecedented," remarked Al and poked Link.
"Whyfore?!" he said.
"I dunno..." said Al and looked wary.

"Oh okay my plot for me. I putting the headyspikes on Mike now for looking better on him!" said MT and did that.
"OH NO NO NO!" shouted Mike and tried to rip them off but they were stuck on good from the abundance of glue and sticky.
"NO THEY ARE MINE!" shouted Sassip and punted everything within punting distance.
"Oh.." said MT and backed away, grabbing a watering can.
"No no no you are not allowed to water your flower by yourself!" said Al.
"But MOMMMMEEEE I'm a whole nother day older!" said MT weepily and sat down on the couch.
"MT that was five minutes ago!" said Al and took the can from him.
"OH, bean can wishings for me?" asked Davy.
"Nooooooooo!" said Weeny 6 and 1/2 and tried to punt him.
"OH OH LOOK HOW CUTE!" said Sassip and sucked on BT.
"EWWWWWWWWW" said BT and had her headspikes stolen by Sassip, but they were much too small.
"Oh well." said she, and put them on anyway.
"I AM *BALD*!!!" shrieked the weeny one and ran around alot shrieking and shrieking and squeeing in distaste.

"Mommy, Mommy! Weeny thing is a Squeeing Piecatcher!" said MT and put her in a cage.
"Now now, don't touch that, you don't know where its been." said Davy.
"But its MEEEEEE!" shrieked BT.
"Oh, it talks!" said Mike and poked at her.
"IT'S ME! BT!" shouted BT.
"Well I dunno but it dun smell like cornflakes.." said Mike and stared.
"WHAT!?!??!" shouted everyone and stared at Mike.
"Uh, I dunno, but it doesn't, does it?"
And no one could argue against it.
"Why did Sassip say that thing?" asked MT.
"I don't know but now she is pogoing." said Micky, and wrote this down.
"No no, stupid, that's Mike.. I think.. I can't tell.." said Peter and scratched his furry little bonce.
"Excuse *ME* but I am NOT furry!" said Peter and huffed off.
"Oh, the author shouldn't say such things." said Davy sadly and watched him go. "Okay, time for pouches!" he squeed and crawled into Mike's pouch.

"HEYYEYEYE!" shouted Sassip and Mike.
"What?" asked Davy and fell asleep. Mike looked scared.
"Uh.. what do I do?" he asked Sassip.
"SIT ON HIMMWAHAHAHA!" said Sassip.
"You're E-vil!" said Mike, but did it anyway cause it sounded fun and new and exciting.
"MMmppfhfjladkssdadslk!" said Davy at having been sat on.
"OH EHEHEHE SO CUTE!" said Sassip and tried to slip her flipper into his pouch.
"HEY!" said Mike and punted her away.
And then there was only one huge beastie in the pad, and everyone thought it was Sassip.
"I knew that." said Peter.
You didn't.
"Oh."

"Ewww that nasty Sassip feeling up my pouch.." sniffed Mike and cowered in the corner.
"'Ey, lemme out huh?" said Davy and came out all flat in the middle.
"Sassip, your weight is unproportioned." Peter informed Mike.
"But, I'm MIKE!" said Mike and smilked.
"You are not Mike, silly, you're clearly Sassip.. somehow." said Davy, who was all flat in the middle.
"My, Davy, but you'd lost some weight." said Micky and stared.
"I'm NOT Anorexic and I don't know who told you but i's all lies! *LIES*!" shouted Davy and ran off in tears.
"Is it just me or is he getting more and more sensitive as atrocious things happen to him in these weird pages full of words?" asked Link, sucking on a pop.
"MY POP!" shouted MT and beaned him with a piecatcher.
"OOF ugh.." said Link and crawled into a ventilation shaft.
"Where did that come from!?" asked Peter and stared.
"Go away! It says "No Continuity Moguls, Musicians, Dumb Kids with Flowers on their Heads, Stupid Figments, or Large Smelly Seathings ALLOWED!"" said Link and was mad at the mis-use of quotation marks within his speechings.
He turned around and saw Weeny 6 and 1/2 staring him in the face.

"HIIII LINKY!" she said and kissed him.
"EWW EWW EWW IT'S A LITTLE TINY FAT BALD WEENY WEENY SEATHING!he shouted and zapped her alot.
"OUCH OUCH!!! WHY WHY WHY!?" she whinged.
"You are NOT allowed! Didn't you see the sign outside my ventilation shaft fort?! DIDN'T YOU!?" spazzed Link.
"Uh, duh, but you didn't mean MEEE! I am not a large thing and I am not stupid and I am not a thing that you said wasn't allowed in here no sireeeee!" said BT stupidly.
"Huh." said Link, zapped her for good measure and fleed the fort.
"Fled." said Peter.
"Huh?" said Link.
"You fled. Fleed isn't a word."
"Go away, library bonce!" said Micky.
"Why.. why did you say mean things to me?!" shouted Peter and cried alot.
"Oh.. uh.. I thought.. uh.. ummm.. bye!" said Micky and ran off.
"He hasing gone into the sunset!" said MT and giggled alot.
"WHAT!?" shouted everyone.
"I was reciting my pottery!" said MT, and began to hum a few bars.
"Um..... your kid really makes about as much sense as Micky and Mike in a milk bath smothered in Oreos." whispered Link to Al.
"No, now, if you threw in Davy and Micky and Mike and took away the milk and put in some termites..." said Al, but she never got to finish, because Link walked away in utter fear.

"WHY DID YOU SAY THINGS ABOUT ME?!?!?!!" shouted Davy and started to cry again.
"Um.. uh oh.." said Al and disappeared.
"Why is Davy gone cry cry so muchly?" asked MT.
"Because someone called him anorexic." said Mike.
"OH MOMMY SASSIP SAID THINGS TO ME!" said MT and stared.
Mike stared.
MT stared.
Mike smilked.
MT stared.
Mike stared.
MT stared.
Mike smieled.
MT horrored.
Nothing happened.
People were confused.

"Where's with the punting and the shouting?" asked Weeny Sassip BT thing with the denominators and the numerators and the slashes go into fraction things.
"What. WHAT'S with the punting and the shouting," Peter corrected her.
"Ohhh, go chew Korec-Type, PENCILFACE!!" screeched weeny 6 & 1/2 and slapped him upside the head.
"Hey how did you do that?" said Peter frowning.
"I poofed me back into regular me," sniffed BT.
"OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO HAIR!" shouted Davy in horror.
"It's a wig. And let's never speak of that again," she said.
"Oh oh that's so three days ago," sniffed Micky.
"PETER! I slapped you upside the head!" said BT.
"OH yeah," said Peter and fell down.
"Fool continuity thingy knows not where the pants are being worn by who in this pad," smirked BT.
"What did THAT mean?!" said Sassip rudely.
"That wasn't me, it was MIKE!!!!" said Sassip.
"You're the author, you're supposed to be able to tell them apart," explained Davy, dabbing at his eyes.
"Davy go cry cry?" said MT sympathetically and poked him with a stick.
"MT MT MT I bet you say that to ALLLL the girls huh?" said BT and made eyes at Micky.
"OH OH WHY?!" said Micky and horrored.
"Uh OH OH THE VOICES MADE ME DO IT," shrieked BT and tried to slee in Davy's pouch.
"I am not a beastie, those are my shoes..." said Davy in a scared way.
"Oh yeh," said BT and sleed in Mike's pouch.
"Oh oh is it comfy in there in Sassip's pouch?" said Davy and followed her.
"PARTY IN SASSIP'S POUCH," yelled Link and jumped in.
"Why are you here?" said Micky who was carrying Cokes.
"It's not Coke, I replaced it with aluminum oxide," said BT happily. "MT is underage for the parties," said Al and escorted him from the pouch.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO *NO*!" said Mike emphatically, expelling all from his furry domain.
"Hey this is like New Coke only BETTER!" said Micky and got hooked.
"Ewwwww," said BT and looked faint.
"OH OH I WILL CATCH YOUUUUU," said MT.
"HUH?!" said BT and ran far away.
"Oh me too!" said Link and followed her. (At least that's what THEY think. MWAAHAHAHAH. Uh.)
"Where is Sassip?" said Peter.
"I am HERE!" said Sassip.
"No you are 3 or 8 or something. I mean the Sassip with the headspikes thank you very much," said Peter stiffly.
"I am not stiff," he said...

"STIFF IS A FUNNY WORD," said someone of undetermined identity.

"Uh well that was... stupid..." said Al.
"Ugh," said BT and pulled her tail rudely.
"Where did YOU come from?!" said Al in alarm.
BT stared at Al like she was dumber than Mike with no hat on and on valium. "You thought me up, FOOOL."
"Fewel fewel it is MY word!" said Mike.
"Why does Sassip say fewel......." said Micky timidly.
"Why was Micky timid?" asked Peter.
"Micky was not in a hole nor was he sleeing, it's all a vicious rumor," stated Micky.
"YOU ARE NOT IN A STATE THIS IS A PAD THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT," said BT and slapped Micky, Peter, Davy, and MT upside the head.
"Oh!!" said Al and slapped BT upside the head for harming her baby.
"I's okay Mommy!" said MT and chewed on her shoe.
"No please..." said Al and shooed him off.
"Oh oh... see... that's funny cause like, cause like that was your shoe, and you 'SHOE'd him and... huhhuh..." said Micky who had obviously not recovered from the sllapping.
"Why the two Ls mommy mommy why in the sentence why?" said MT.
"NO KIDDIE QUESTIONS!" yelled Mommy. Then she was talky of the things that were not in the story and telled me I should not have the writings with the purty pen that is shiny and goes clicky cli

Anyway.

So then Al stared at Micky and MT.
"Why are you picking his nose?" she asked MT.
"Oh, I thought it was my nose." said MT and Al made faces of disgust and dragged him off to a clothes shower.
"Oh, I thought that was my nose too!" said Micky.
"WHAT!?" said Mike.
"Why does Sassip care?" asked Micky.
"I AM NOT SASSIP!" shouted Mike and stuck his head into his pouch.
He was reorganizing his pogostick collection when he noticed a flipper not of his own in the vicinity.
"SASSIP GET YOUR GRUBBY PUNTHORROR OUT OF MY POUCH!" he shrieked.
"HORROR?!?!??!!?!?" shouted Sassip and went a-punting.
"Is a-punting even a word?" asked someone.
"MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY SOMEONE IS BACK!" shouted MT and was fear.
"Yes dear! Hold still, ugh you are too slippery with shampoo all over..." said Al.

Meanwhile, Sassip was trying fervently to get a flipper into Mike's pouch.
"HELP! HELP! I'm being ABUSED!" he shouted and rolled around.
"Oh you are not, but why is Sassip trying to rape herself?" asked Mike.
"You are Davy, and she is not trying to RAPE herself she's just trying to get a flipper into her pouch.. for.. reasons I don't know why." said Micky. They sat there eating popcorn and watching the sideshow until it flattened them.
"That'll learn you not to stare at atrocities." said Al from the bathroom and laughed so hard she ate a bottle of shampoo and didn't realize it until MT picked her up and began to squeeze her like a gun at people and she shot out bubbles.
"Glug glug!" she said sadly.
"Mommy is a bubblegun!" said MT.
"BUBBLEGUM WHERE!?" shouted Link who had gotten quite a habit of chewing...
"Oh, you need to go to Chewers Annonymous!" said Weeny BT.
"But I am not weeny anymore!" said BT.
"Yes you are!" said MT and made it with the happening.
"OH!" said BT and her fake hairy wig fell off and she was bald again.
"OH OH I SAID NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN!!!" she cried and hid her bonce under the couch.
"Yes you did yes you did that's why you can seee meeeeeee," Link taunted her and ran away when she gave him the evil eye.
"EW EW IS SHE MAKING EYES AGAIN?!" said Micky in fear.
"No," said MT coquettishly and made eyes at Micky.
"NO!" Al said and made him stop.
"Micky is Athkah!" said Peter happily.
"WHAATT??!!!!!" said everyone else.
"I'm sorry that will never occur again..." Peter said in a frightened way and minced about from side to side.

"Sassip is displeased," stated Sassip.
"Micky is more displeased that you have stolen his speakingways," said MT.
"That was not me..." said Micky...

"WE KNOW," said everyone.
The author has punctuatoin problems?????
"Yes!!!!!!" said someone/

><'!$#)@&+`

"There. There was a bug in my keyboard," said the author.
But there wasn't REALLY. Anyway.
"THAT WAS SO WEIRD AND POINTLESS!" shouted Mike.
"OH are you gonna punt? Me first me first!" said Micky.
"Masochist," said BT from under the couch.
"Are you drunk?" asked Davy. "NOOO, HUH?!!" said BT.
"Oh just asking," said Davy backing away quickly, and stepping on himself.
"Oh my that was different," said Al.
"Different from what Mommy?" said MT coquettishly.
"OH he's CUTE!" said BT, pulling her head out from under the couch.
"EW EW no no he is my baby you will not be getting at him!" said Al. "Besides he is like your sibling."
"I is beeeeezxar!" said MT and made eyes.
"Doooon't dooooo thaaaaaat!!!" said Micky and minced from side to side like Peter.
"They're doing the Charleston," observed Link observantly.
"I only made eyes out of constructing paperies," MT said sadly.
"Awwww so cute," said BT and tried to eat his shoe.
"NO PLEASE!" said MT kicking her away.
"Sassip is pleased to be giving me back my headspikes," said BT, sprouting wings and flying up to Sassip's head, where she grabbed the spikes and put them back on her.
"HI weeny Sassip!" said Sassip.
"You are bald," giggled Micky.
"You are too!!" said Peter.
"HUH?!" said Micky who was not.
"Oh I'm sorry I was thinking of something else," said Peter.

"Heehee," said someone foolishly.
"OH!" whimpered MT and hid in Sassip's pouch which welcomed all small things. MT was not one so she expelled him. "I am weeny!" said BT, waddling her small self into the pouch and getting comfy.
"Sheesh," said Sassip and went to slee.
"I am not Sassip," stated Mike pleasantly.
"I thought this was Sassip," said BT.
"No I am Sassip," said Mike.
"Oh okay," said BT and waddled her weeny self over to Mike's pouch instead.
"Hey wait, I'm not Sassip..." said Mike who had confused himself very badly indeed.
"You're not getting me with that old one," snigged BT and went to slee in a bored way.
"UGH!" said Micky who was confused and mad at continuity people who knew nothing, and tried to horn things with his antlers but found he had molted.

"Weeny Sassips stay too long
Weeny Sassips sing a song
Weeny Sassips love to play
Weeny Sassips cannot stay!" sang Mike.
"Where did you get that?!" shouted Sassip and stared.
"I made it out up of my own head." stated Mike.
"You STOLE it!" said Sassip.
"Weeny Sassips in your pouch
Weeny Sassips screaming ouch
Weeny Sassips smooshed all flat
No more Sassips after that." sang Mike again. Sassip got mad and tried to throw her headspikes at him but she sadly had none.
"Oof." said BT who was smooshed flat.
"Now how come YOU get a weeny Sassip in your pouch!? Why can't I put my flipper in?" asked Sassip.
"Go away, you weren't invited." said Mike and read his book rudely in her face.
"Mm it's soft and squooshy in here." said BT in an evil way.
"*I* want to experience the softness!" said Sassip and shoved a flipper into his pouch.
"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH s'COLD!" said Mike and ran out onto the hot sand.
"Oh, sorry, I was cleaning out the freezer." said Sassip.
"You were *NOT!*" said Micky and pointed a finger at her face. She started to drool all over the place. Drool like rivers came outta the floor. She could take it, give her some more!

"Oops, the author was thinking of something else." said Peter.
"I was thinking of a nice hot oreo pie, smothered in Coke, with a side of milk." said Micky dreamily.
"EWWW" said MT and laughed alot.
"The pie pan.. the pie pan will come and get us! If we don't be careful, the pie pan will catch us unawares and.. and.. SMOTHER US IN HOT PIE JUICES!!" shouted Davy and ran off.
"That boy ain't right." said Mike.
"He was your chicken fry buddy." said Link.
"I know. What happened? What happens to people? One minute you're rolling around carefree and beautiful, and the next minute they are weirdoes who won't condone pogo sticks and are anorexic." said Mike sadly.
"I HEARD THAT!" cried Davy and sobbed.
"Oh Davy Davy he goes cry cry I go and see if he wants some serals." said MT and shoved about 60 boxes down Davy's throat. Davy wobbled out a few seconds later looking decidedly sick, but at least he wasn't crying anymore.

Al chided MT for his blatant use of serals, and carted him off to be hung out in the sun. Micky hid from all wet things.
"AHHHHHH!" said Mike, returning from his lovely dip in the sea.
"WHEN DID YOU GO FOR A SWIM!?!?!" shouted Peter.
"Oh, I snicked out." said Mike. Peter stared. Mike's headspikes fell off.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMINE!" shouted Sassip, and put them back on.
"YAYA!" said BT and was pleased at her weeny self.
"You should be, you are a SASSIP!" said Sassip and was proud of her little progeny.
"You never birthed her." said Peter tetchily.
"Didn't I Peter? Didn't I?" asked Sassip.
"NO!" said Peter.
"YES I DID HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" shouted BT.
"You were not asked." said Sassip.
"Oh, it wasn't me, it was Micky!"
"No, it was Peter!" said Micky.
"Oh, it was me!" said Peter.
"No i wasn't it was ME!" said Sassip.
"Ooops..!" said everyone and glared at Sassip for confusing everyone.

"Things are nice now." said Al and went to slee on the couch.
"YAY NAPPY TIMES!" said MT and went to slee on Al.
"OOOfgh.." said Al before losing air and consciousness.
"WAAAHH WHERE DID MY BEYOOOOOTIFUL ANTLERS GO!?!?" shouted Micky and rummaged through his closet o'antlers, chose a pair, and roped them to his head, until the new ones grew in.
"Micky has no imagitation." said MT, opening one eye.
"I have antennae." said BT.
"So what?" said Link, who had no appendages and was as happy as a tree. "Trees aren't happy." said Mike.
"OH END IT ALREADY I CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE!" cried Davy and went to his room to weep.

The End.

Next Issue: MT writes a story. BE HORROR.