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| Jonathan's Story In Memory of Jonathan Tayler Lee " Heaven's Tiny Prince" Precious child of Matt and Jessica Lee Long awaited baby brother of Matther William In Feb. of 2002, When my son was almost 3 years old, my husband and I decided that we were ready for our family to grow again. Matthew began asking for a baby and wanted to know where babies came from. I explained that Jesus kept all the babies with him, and then when a mommy would pray and ask for one, Jesus would send one down to live in her tummy until it could be born. He was so excited and began praying every night for a baby brother. Every night after his bedtime prayers he would say "Listen Mommy" Do you hear that?" Our baby is comming!" Towards the end of June, After 5 months of wondering when it would be our turn, I started feeling nauseated and having morning sickness at night, just like I did with Matthew. The smell of certain food made me sick and my husband kept telling me "You're Pregnaunt. I know you are!" (He knew I was pregnaut 2 with Matthew 2 weeks before I did. So I kept saying "let's wait until we are sure.." So we did. Then before I got a chance to tell anyone what we thought, He was gone. I woke up with heavy cramps and bleeding and knew the timing was wrong. I knew in my heart of hearts what was happening but I didnt want to believe it. I called my doctor and he confirmed what I knew. I had been preg., 4 1/2 weeks to be exact and the baby was gone. We never had a chance to celebrate your life before we had to grieve for you Its only been 6 days as I write this and I'm still struggling to accept whats happened. We havent told Matthew, He wouldnt understand, I dont ever understand. Friday morning Matthew woke up, all smiles as usual and said " Mommy I had a dream! I dreamed of our babies!" I said "Our babies?" and he said "Yes you know the little tiny one, the one who couldnt stay with me." I didnt say a word and then he said " I also dreamed about the baby thats comming mommy, the little girl! Oh shes so pretty! " I smiles and said we'll see. I don't know about the little girl but I feel like his dream of his little brother was Jonathan's way of getting to know his big brother if only for a short while. For the last 6 months all I've heard was little brother this and that and now it's "little sister." At this point I can't ever think of another baby but I know that one day we will. But that will never change the fact that Jonathan will always be our second child, our second son. I would like to mention I could never have made it through this last week without some very special people. My husband first who never complained when I cried all day, never cleaned the house and always understood what I was thinking before I said it. My angel on Earth Matthew who gave me extra love for the boo boo in my heart, and some very special new friends who I have aquired, Doris, Chrystal, Dawn and Sharon, I cant thank any of you enough. You will always hold a special place in my heart. |
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