SILENCE, FOOLISH WEBPAGE!
Greetings, primitive savages of the new world. This is the web site of Viceroy Eduardo Alvarado of the Spanish Empire. Contained within are many great pages, of which inferior non Spaniards are not worthy. Some deal specifically with Alvarado, yet others are random crap because this site has also been used to store/upload a number of things. BEHOLD:
Alvarado’s Plunder :
The first material ever put up at this site. At the beginning of the Alvarado character, I decided that I would have my character keep a in-character diary of his plotlines. As you can see I gave up pretty quickly after three (I thought I did a fourth one when I moved to the CWA, but can’t find it anywhere) entries. It mainly serves as exposition for his gimmick, but has also helped provide me with helpful info on a timeline for my characters. For instance, the first entry is dated Feb 7, 2001… which is mean that is the date I first joined Wrassle. Nifty. Since the preliminary CSlam shutdown happened Feb 1, that means I gave up on shitty Cyberbrawls in a massive 6 days. (Note: The font used on these pages is “Calligrapher.” It’s just to add to the look of it being an old Spanish document. If you don’t have it, no loss… it will just look like plain text)
This still is the front page of the website, technically. I guess I should make this page the new front page for the site and get rid of that, huh? I was going to do something with it, but it’s been there so long I guess I won’t touch it, even though it’s totally useless.
Images of the Alvarado Archive
Self-Explanatory, look inside for some jpegs, gifs and small flash videos.
The Alvarado & Homeless J CWA Swimsuit Calendar
In the CWA, some profuse masturbator named Durge said he was making a “Swimsuit Calendar” for the fed. So he wanted slutty pictures of female characters and their valets. So I decided to mock and ridicule him with my own parody calendar. Homeless J had little to do with the making of it, but I’m sure he was like my tag partner at the time or something. “Fun” Fact: … though not really that fun unless you’re a big fan of Proto’s Terrorist Attack Pool site… This was done in the earlier half of 2001, and I decided to replace the month of August with Ramadan for no good reason, and by “no good reason” I mean to insult Arabs (SILENCE, FOOLISH MOOR!… Remember?). I even made an “Osama Bin Laden Day” in 2001. Ouch. At any rate, you can see I was ahead of the trend for disdain towards Muslims.
Alvarado was booked against Benny Blair in some sort of poetry-writing match, I think. Obviously I went a different route with the match than the card creator had intended, and produced an excellent and wholly original bit of child’s poetry.
For a while I thought about actually making a flash video for Alvarado. Nope. But this vid, which can also be linked to from Dr. A’s Flash Page, includes Alvarado unmasking himself as Vulcan Raven, who he was actually not.
For some reason when making my fake Cyberslam site I decided that the fake FAQ page should be written through the filter of my first ever Wrassle character, who was never actually in Cyberslam. Go figure. Anyway, it’s Alvarado related.
Other Primitive Savage Work :
This is some card Arsenic wrote. And this is another, better one. The Faire one (in html) I don’t remember much about, but the one that is a word document is the famous “Frozen Arena” match which included the pinnacle of Arsenic’s gimmick for which he is known today.
Also Arsenic-related, I uploaded a lot of Arsenic crap here. In some plot for some reason, UCE Action Figures were used, including toys for Arsenic, Benny Blair and Wingnut. I vaguely recall that the joke was that they had to give away the Arsenic toys because no one wanted them. Maybe two years later or there-abouts I added a Jailbait toy to the page. God knows why.
Since it was important that the BRB judges actually were able to read my rewrite, I made a mirror of it just in case bandwidth at the other website got eaten up. I should just delete this because I don’t need a mirror anymore… but what the hell? This site still has 4MB of space left untapped, it’s not a pressing issue.
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And now… A special note on the meaning of
“Alvaradobrawl.”
When I made Alvarado, I wanted a site to update all his stuff to that was independent of Nakedman/Dr. Abortion in an attempt to be somewhat anonymous with the character (it didn’t work… it never works. People always figure out who I am). At any rate, someone has asked me about “Alvaradobrawl” before… and why that stupid name existed. This site was made in a tumultuous week when CSlam shut down, I joined Cyberbrawls, decided Cyberbrawls sucked, joined Wrassle, and then CSlam went back up again for a short period of time. To be honest, I should have named the site alvaradowrassle. I accidentally named it “brawl” for “Cyberbrawls” though because I was just plain confused. Yep, that’s the very boring and uninteresting story.
In a similar note, BRB is apparently gay internet lingo for “be right back.” Hopefully if you have been part of Wrassle/CSlam you should know that “nakedbrb” actually refers to the BAR ROOM BRAWL. The http://www.oocities.org/nakedbrb/ was created for Nakedman’s BRB13 Matches, and only later expanded to be an outright Nakedman Archive.