Gretchen sang enthusiastically into the mic. This song was going to be her first single off of her sophomore album, which had been named On My Own. She hoped this album would separate her from the other blonde, female, pop singers out there. On this album, not only did she write songs and arrange music, but she played guitar on all of the ballads, which took up half the album. Plus, she had made sure that her songs had more depth to them than the ones on her first album had. She had written a song about her break-up with Brandon, and it wasn’t like “Oh, I hurt so badly,” it was “Oh, I hate you so much.” Not in those exact words, but it was intense. It was planned to be the second single off of On My Own because Gretchen knew that many girls out there could relate to heartbreak. Then, there was a song about God she had written, and she didn’t want any of her fans that didn’t believe in God to be offended, but this was what she believed in, and she wanted to express it.
There had been many bad reviews of her first album, In Your Eyes , mainly because the critics had been very judgmental in assuming that she would be just like all the others, and that she wouldn’t be around for very long. What they didn’t know was that she had real talent, that she had written many, many songs, that she played guitar, that she could do more than dance. They would know it with this album, and she couldn’t wait. She couldn’t wait to see Nick, because she wanted to express this to him. They had had many phone conversations since the first one over the past three weeks – some lasting over an hour. Her cell phone bill had recently come in, and it was HUGE. She didn’t mind though. It was worth it to have someone who understood her. It was irrelevant that she had only talked to him in person once.
She was glad she had decided only to be his friend. She didn’t want another relationship yet, and from the way they talked on the phone, it seemed that friendship was the only thing on his mind as well.
She just couldn’t wait to see him.
AJ was exhausted, and the day wasn’t even over yet. They still had 2 hours left with that reporter. This was one of those days when all her wanted to do was sleep. Yet, had had to go to a slew of different places, and answer a bunch of personal questions. He couldn’t remember the amount of times he had said, “I don’t really want to talk about that,” to that reporter today.
“Up here, they’re filming a movie,” Kara said, pointing at a huge mansion that was isolated on top of a hill. There was security guarding the gates to the house, and the Backstreet Boys and Kara could see people milling around in front of the house with cameras and sound systems.
“Cool,” Brian said. “Maybe we could go check it out tomorrow.”
They continued driving by it, and Nick sighed. “When is this going to be over?” he whispered to Kevin.
AJ nodded. ‘I feel the same way,’ he thought. In fact, the only person that didn’t seem to be tired was Howie. He answered all of the questions cheerfully, and he smiled a lot.
AJ just felt troubled. He and Amanda were on shaky grounds once again, and he knew that if he didn’t break up with her, she would break up with him. It just ever worked out with them. They tried, and tried, and tried… and it just never… worked.
Brian had the same sort of thoughts on his mind. He had told the PEOPLE journalist that marriage to Leighanne was a possibility, but he didn’t know if Leighanne still loved him. God, he loved her, but she had seemed to separate herself from him lately. What made him even more nervous was that she wanted to have a “talk” with him when he got back from the interview. He didn’t know if she was going to try to reconcile with him, or dump him. So the longer this interview lasted, the better.
Howie was enjoying the reporter’s company. She was really nice. The other guys seemed to be in their own worlds, but he had nothing else to think about, so he concentrated on the journalist.
~ Kara noticed that the guys were getting restless, but she didn’t want the interview to end. She had had a lot of fun doing her job. Still, it would be time to go soon, and who knew when she would talk with them again?
‘Well, that’s life,’ she thought.
The interview was finally over! AJ bounded to the front doors of the hotel, and ran to the elevator. Nick was close behind him, wanting to call Gretchen and confirm the following day’s plans, and Kevin was shortly behind Nick. Howie stayed back to say a longer good-bye to Kara than the other guys did, and Brian walked slowly to the doors of the hotel, mainly because he was nervous about calling Leighanne.
When he did get to his room, he took his time fixing himself a drink before he sat down and called her. He picked up the phone and dialed Leighanne’s number, and waited.
She answered immediately, as if she had been waiting for him to call.
“Hey Leigh,” Brian said.
“Hey Bri. We need to talk about something.”
“Yes?”
“What was yesterday?” she asked.
“Uh…what?”
“It was our anniversary,” she replied.
Brian was shocked. He had completely forgotten!
“Oh my – Leigh, I am so sorry!” he said. “I’ll go get you something right now –.”
“Brian, I don’t want anything. I didn’t want to get a present delivered, or flowers, or candy… I just wanted you to mention when you called that you remembered, because then I would know that you cared about it just as much as me. I hinted at it, and hinted at it, and you still didn’t get it. Brian… you never made me cry until yesterday, and you did it inadvertently.”
“Leigh, I do love you! You’re more important to me than – .”
“No. If I was more important to you than anything, you would have remembered,” Leighanne’s voice became strained. She was crying.
“And I love you, Brian. I really do. But I can’t live like this anymore.”
Brian felt tears spring to his eyes. “Leigh- no, you can’t be saying…”
“We need to break-up,” she said.
“Please don’t do this. I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he pleaded.
“I don’t want to do this, but I have to. It’s for the best.”
“Let’s talk about this- .”
“No. I am so sorry Brian, but… goodbye.” She hung up. Brian stared at the phone, and cried.
Nick sat quietly on his bed watching “The Tonight Show.” Jay Leno was so funny. The show was taping just a few miles away from the hotel.
“Tonight we have 2 Oscar winners here. First from the movie The Star , the lovely Michelle Colback is here!” Jay said.
Nick laughed. He was tempted to call AJ’s room and tell him that he and Michelle Colback were in the same city at the same time, but he decided not to.
The Next Morning
Each of the guys thought over their plans for the day.
Nick, of course, was going to meet Gretchen in front of the Los Angeles Park. He had talked to her the night before, and she had told him that they could find a lot of things to do there. “There’s even a playground,” she had joked.
Brian and AJ decided to go back to the movie site that Kara had shown them, and see if they could get it. They were celebs after all, and that brought special privileges. AJ hadn’t really wanted to go, but he had agreed since Brian was so depressed about Leighanne. He thought it might cheer him up.
Kevin implied that he might go shopping, but he didn’t have any definite plans.
Howie was very secretive about what he was going to do.
Nick changed into khakis and a maroon sweater, combed back his hair, and paused in front of the mirror. Should he put on cologne? No.
He told the rest of the guys bye, and of course, they all gave him the exaggerated winks. Though early October, it was still warm to an extent in Los Angeles.
Nick felt nervous, mostly because he hadn’t seen her in almost a month. He had no idea what to expect for that day.
The cab pulled up in front of the entrance to the park, and no one was there waiting. Nick put on his baseball cap and sunglasses to be somewhat disguised in case fans saw him. But, it was a weekday, so the park wasn’t full of people, and… he shouldn’t worry about it. He sat down on a bench next to the entrance and waited for Gretchen. 3 minutes later, she arrived. She got out of the cab that had brought her there and smiled at him. He strode over to her.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey yourself,” she replied.
He gave her a big hug, and took in her smell. She smelled like Herbal Essences shampoo.
She was holding a picnic basket and a blanket.
“What are we doing first?” he asked.
“Well, I thought we could eat first since it’s almost 11:30 AM. Is that okay?
“Yeah, sure.”
There were acres of rolling hills with huge oak trees here and there. They settled underneath a tree, and Gretchen began to tell Nick about her expectations for her sophomore album. He listened happily. The excitement in her voice was enough to keep anyone enamored.
“I just hope this will really establish me as an actual artist, not some pop…tart. Do you know what I’m saying?” she asked.
“Of course. It does hurt when the critics just kill you in the reviews, and you just want to call them up and say, ‘You have no idea what I’m all about. You can’t just tell the world that my group sucks when you barely even took in what the album was about.’ So yeah, I know exactly how you feel,” Nick said, sort of bitterly.
Gretchen stared at Nick. “It’s not easy.”
“No, it’s not. But, let’s think about other things,” he said.
She smiled softly and lay back on the blanket. She closed her eyes for a minute, and Nick took that opportunity to let his eyes roam her body. She was wearing khaki shorts that showed off her tanned legs, and a pale yellow sleeveless shirt.
He was attracted to her, that was for sure. Physically and emotionally attracted. He couldn’t help but look.
Suddenly, she sat up, her eyes wide.
“I know what we can do!” she exclaimed, grinning.
“What?” he asked.
“It’s a surprise. Let’s clean up here and then get on our way.”
They picked up all their stuff, and Gretchen excitedly led Nick to somewhere unknown to him.
In the park there were several little sections set off for different activities. There was a petting zoo, a karaoke center, different little stores, and stuff like that.
Gretchen made Nick close his eyes as she led him into a building.
“Can I open them now?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
He did, and facing him was a roller skating rink.
“Perfect,” she said. “No one’s here. We’ll have it all to ourselves!”
“Uh… Gretchen… I’m not the best skater in the world…”
“That’s okay. I’ll help you. It’ll be fun,” she said.
The bored skating rink attendant recognized Nick and Gretchen, but didn’t make a scene. It was an old man. They rented skates, and the manager turned on some music for them.
Nick held on to the wall when they started, but Gretchen coaxed him away from it, and instructed him to hold onto her arm.
“Uh, I don’t know about this,” Nick said nervously as Gretchen glided along the floor slowly, as he clutched onto her arm.
“Just let go of your inhibitions. Tell yourself that it’s not hard, it’s fun. Just go with it,” she told him
Nick breathed in, and let go of Gretchen. He didn’t move his feet, so he glided along for a few meters and then stopped. He tried to move his right foot and then got into the pattern. Right, left, right, left. He was getting it… and then he fell.
Gretchen gasped, and skated over to him.
“Nick, are you OK?” She kneeled over him, and his eyes were closed.
“Nick…?” she placed her hand on the side of his face, and turned his face more towards her. That was when he started laughing.
“You idiot!” she cried as he stood up, laughing hysterically.
“I was worried about you,” she said.
“I wanna try again!” he said.
Gretchen just shook her head and laughed, and helped him up.
Nick looked at her coyly. “Just let me hold onto your hand, and I’ll try to go the same pace as you.”
She didn’t get it. She agreed.
A few yards away, the skating rink attendant watched. “They’re a couple,” he said. “That’s nice.”
An hour later, after making Gretchen laugh so hard she was on the floor with his impersonations of figure skaters, Nick suggested they go do something else, because other people were beginning to come, and they didn’t want to risk getting recognized.
“What do you want to do next?” she asked.
“Get our faces painted!” Nick exclaimed, pointing at a face painter a few yards away.
Gretchen giggled. “Are you serious?” she asked.
“Totally.” He took her hand. “Let’s go!”
He practically dragged her there, he was going so fast, and he let her go first.
“I guess I’ll get a dragonfly one,” she said.
The guy painted one on her cheek with glittery paint, and when he was done, both he and Nick admired it.
“It looks cool,” Nick said.
“Your turn.”
Nick decided to be a little goofier with his. He got the Batman symbol on his cheek.
“Very cute,” Gretchen commented. “Hey, let’s go buy disposable cameras from that store over there and take pictures of our cheeks. I need some pictures of you anyway, to add to my album.”
“OK. And we can get some person to take a picture of us together,” Nick said.
“It’s a plan,” she replied. They went and bought the disposable cameras, and took pictures of each other’s faces with them. After getting a stranger to take pictures of them together, Nick said, “Let me get a picture of you by yourself.”
“OK.” Gretchen went and sat down next to a tree, pulled her knees up to her chin, and smiled.
‘God, she’s gorgeous,’ Nick thought for the 50th time that day. He snapped the picture, and then she wanted to take a picture of him.
He sat down next to the tree, and put this thoughtful look on his face. Gretchen laughed. “Be serious. Smile.”
He did, and she took the picture. “Thank you very much kind sir,” she said jokingly. “Might I get your autograph too?”
“Only if I get yours first,” he replied. She laughed.
“I feel like there’s so little I know about you,” he told her.
“Really? So I’m mysterious to you?” she smiled.
“Yes,” he said seriously. “Tell me something about you.”
“Like what?”
“Something that would tell me something that I couldn’t find if I looked for it on the Internet.”
“Well… how about you come to the studio where I’m recording my album, and I’ll play you some of the songs I’ve written on my guitar. Those will tell you a lot about me,” she said.
“OK.”
They hailed a cab, and went to the studio, which was located a few streets away.
Security recognized Gretchen immediately, and let her and Nick in.
She led him to a closed-off room. In it was a piano, a guitar, and a couch.
“This where I come to write music when I’m in L.A.” she told him. “It’s the only place I can concentrate. I wasn’t going to tell you this… so soon, but I feel like I can trust you, Nick. And if you really want to know about me, and if we’re going to continue being friends, and I want you to know. First, I’ll play this song for you."
She strummed the guitar, and started to sing.
“Why did I let myself get carried away?/ Why did I believe every lie that you would say?/Maybe it’s just that I’m a little naïve, or maybe it’s because I don’t know/But all I can do is be mad at you, all I can do is be glad you’re gone…"
When she finished the song, she glanced up at Nick, and he stared at her, astonished. “What jerk broke your heart?” he asked.
“His name was Brandon, and to start from the very beginning, we started dating before I got my record deal. He’s a year older than I am, and I thought I was in love. I was head over heels for this guy. At that time, if he had told me to give up my singing, I might have just done it. I was that crazy for him. He was never as enamored with me, though, so he used that to his advantage. Shortly after I got my record deal, I was never around home as much, so I began to hear rumors that he was cheating on me. Now, this was a huge possibility, because I wouldn’t let him sleep with me. I wanted to wait. He was never happy with that, and he was always threatening me that he would find someone else for his bed if I wouldn’t. So anyway, when I confronted him about it, he threw a fit and tried to break up with me. Of course, I went hysterical, and begged him to stay with me. I told him I would do anything if he would stay with me. So, he told me to sleep with him. And I did.” Gretchen lowered her head in shame. “I had wanted to save it for someone I knew I was going to marry, but I wanted him to stay with me, so I did it. When I woke up the next morning, he was gone. I did what he asked and he left me anyway. I felt dirty, and I felt like my dignity, my integrity… all of it was gone. I felt worthless.” She looked up at Nick. “It took me a year and a half to get over it.”
Nick was speechless. He reached out for her hand, and she let him take it.
“You should never feel like you’re worthless. You’re not,” he told her.
She smiled weakly. “Thank you. I’m just glad you know now.”
“Come here,” Nick said pulling her into a hug.
She hugged him tightly as a tear rolled down her cheek.