This is the seventh Part of Luna’s Point of View of the latest scheme from Luna and Maggie.

If you’re trying to keep track, the first part was Newfound Depths by Luna,

The Second was Unusual Depths by Maggie.

The Third was Newfound Desires by Luna.

The Fourth was Unusual Desires by Maggie.

The fifth was Newfound Strength by Luna.

The sixth was Unusual Strength by Maggie.

The seventh was Newfound Determination by Luna.

The eighth was Unusual Determination by Maggie.

The ninth was Newfound Dangers by Luna

The tenth was Unusual Dangers by Maggie

The eleventh was Newfound Realities by Luna

The twelfth was Unusual Realities by Maggie

Now comes Newfound Existence from this corner…notice a theme? LOL.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as we are enjoying writing it!

Love ya,

Luna

Disclaimer: Laurell K. Hamilton and the Berkley Publishing Group do not authorize this author. All characters that you recognize belong to Laurell K. Hamilton Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, and UPN own all rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and do not authorize this author. All characters that you recognize belong Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, and UPN. Except for the ones created by the people in this group. This is solely for entertainment purposes.

Rating: R to be safe for strong language and minor violence

Author’s Note: A special thanks must go to my beta and friend Maggie, without whom I would be hopelessly lost and constantly behind. I’d also like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed thus far. It’s been a hoot to write this I hope that you continue to enjoy our meager efforts to amuse and entertain you!

Newfound Existence

I could feel the round of curses waiting on the tip of my tongue. They never had time to fall. I heard the sound of fast approaching footsteps. It seemed vaguely familiar somehow, and I felt slightly nauseous at the sense of déjà vu.

Scanning the room I decided that since I was sans weapon, save the screwdriver still clutched in my hand, it would be best to hide. It was not something I would normally do, and part of me was rankled by the very idea of retreat, but I had few options. At least I didn’t until I knew where I was and how I’d gotten there.

The room was spacious and the modern theme, which was quickly beginning to wear on my nerves, was still present. I crossed the room quickly and crouched down beside what looked like a huge entertainment center. I made sure I was low enough my reflection wasn’t obvious in the many windows from the door.

What came through the door knocked me for a loop. I thought perhaps I wasn’t awake at all but merely dreaming. This couldn’t be real, could it? I pinched myself, hard. My eyes closed. I wasn’t dreaming and this was very much real. Christ! Could things get any worse? Wait, don’t answer that!

In the room were three men. All them stood just inside the doorway and stared. An African-American entered the bedroom, and a bleach blonde strode through to what I could only guess was a kitchen area. The brunette stood there his eyes moved methodically over the room.

I held my breath hoping that he wouldn’t find me, and knew it was useless. If this place *was* real then he would find me. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that he wouldn’t. He’d hear my heart pounding, be able to smell the scent I’d left behind.

“Come out here,” he said simply.

Knowing I was caught I slowly eased out from behind the large piece of furniture. I clutched the screwdriver like it was a security blanket. His brown gaze flicked down to it and back up to me one eyebrow arched. “That won’t kill me.”

I had to laugh. “No, it won’t,” I replied. “But I can make sure it hurts like hell.”

The blonde had returned from his search of the kitchen. “You don’t want to do that pet,” came his reply. He looked bored, but knowing vampires like I did, I knew it could mean almost anything.

Cocking my head to the side I turned my hazel gaze on him. “Why not?”

He leaned against the arched doorway, folding his arms across his chest; his blue eyes held my gaze. “Because it tends to make the white hats around here angry when the great soddin’ pouf is hurt,” his accent rolled over me like a thick blanket and I had to wonder if it was something he did intentionally.

My eyes searched his face, looking for any sign of deceit. I found none. That didn’t mean anything though; he could just be a fabulous actor. I’d run into them before. Vampires were masters at survival. Deciding that I wasn’t going to find the answers to my questions in his face I turned toward more pressing matters. “Where am I,” I asked the bleach blonde vampire.

“LA,” replied the man that had joined us from the bedroom.

“And you are?”

“Gunn,” he said warily. His eyes scanned me. “And you are…”

“Name or species,” I asked, unable to keep the amusement out of my voice.

“Either,” Gunn said. “Both,” replied the sullen vampire at the same time.

I pinned the brunette with my eyes. “*You* don’t get a vote.” Turning back to the other man I said, “Name’s Aluna, but everybody calls me Luna. Feel free to do the same.” I smiled at him. The smile slipped from my face as I realized what was being implied here.

With a sigh I closed my eyes briefly before opening them again and looked at the blonde. “That would make you Spike aka William the Bloody,” my eyes shot to the brunette. “And you would be Angelus aka Angel.”

Angel visibly flinched when I’d used his evil counter part’s name. A corner of my mouth pulled up in a mockery of a smile. I think I just found something to needle the vampire with, and he was going to hate every minute of it.

Spike cocked a scarred eyebrow. “And how would you know about us luv?”

Turning tired eyes to him, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I replied. Walking over to one of the room’s armchairs I lowered myself into it. With my free hand I reached up and rubbed my forehead. I could feel the tears forming under my closed lids. How the hell did I always end up in these messes?

Feeling warm hands on my shoulders I knew it was Gunn that had approached me. One of his hands slid down to where the screwdriver was loosely held. I let him have it. It would take the tension in the room down a notch. Despite my best efforts a single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

“Hey now, what’s this,” Spike asked. His voice was soft and gentle and that made the tears flow even faster.

How could I tell them what the problem was? They would think I was delusional. Hell, *I* thought I was delusional. I wanted to go home, where it nice and safe and normal. Okay, so maybe it might not be normal per say, but it was as close to it as I could get.

I shook my head, knowing that my voice would betray the emotions I felt. It was one thing to jokingly say you wanted to be part of another world and quite another to actually *be* there. The rules seemed to change whenever you jumped planes. I had no idea what the rules were now and that scared me more than I was willing to admit.

When I was reasonably sure that I could talk without a lump forming in my throat I opened my eyes. I looked at each man in turn, studying and categorizing what I knew of each person. My knowledge of Angel’s world was woefully inadequate.

Surprisingly they each met my stare. There was no sign of aggression or hostile intent, though that didn’t really mean anything as far as I was concerned. It could just mean that I hadn’t given them enough ammunition to fire at me. I was hoping to keep it that way.

After a long pause and a healthy dose of paranoia I finally asked, “How many people know I’m here?”

Their gazes volleyed from one to the next. It was like watching a game of hot potato with glances being “it” and nobody wanted to be the last one holding it. I rolled my eyes. Guys were such children some times. “Angelus, just answer the question,” I snapped.

“Angel,” the vampire stressed the name.

Again I rolled my eyes at him, and folded my arms over my chest. He was avoiding the question. Turning to the blonde I asked, “Is he always like this?”

“What? Evasive, or being a great soddin git,” he answered with what I had come to associate with his usual arrogance.

The grin came of its own accord, but the amusement was all mine. “Both,” I replied merrily.

“I’m standing right here,” Angel snapped.

I turned a scathing glance his direction. “And?”

“Are you two done yet,” he asked flatly.

“That depends. Are you done dodging the question?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the vampire barked.

One shoulder rose and fell. “Right. Can I have door number two,” I responded blithely.

Behind me Spike snorted and Gunn began to chuckle until a sharp look from the brunette silenced him.

“Lighten up oh brooding one,” I said.

Angel sent me a glare that if I had been anyone else might have sent me running for cover. However I’d seen worse. Hell, if I was honest I’d done worse, so his look was wasted on me. “I’ve seen worse countenances on mall dummies,” I said blandly.

The brunette’s face fell into set lines. It reminded me of the mask that fell over Jean-Claude’s face whenever he was trying to hide something. It made me instantly suspicious of him. I had spent too much time around Anita for it to make me anything else.

A faint creaking brought my attention to the open doorway. Standing there were two humans judging by their heartbeats and breathing, and the fact that they didn’t give off any otherworldly vibe.

“Fred and Wesley, I presume,” I asked the newcomers.

The female gave me a curious look before letting a shy smile settle on her features. The man looked at Angel who just shrugged his shoulders. They slowly entered the room and I think Gunn would have gone to join them had my fingers not tightened around his.

His chocolate brown eyes shot up to mine. I don’t know what he was looking for but whatever he found convinced him to keep his place. I turned to the two newcomers. “Why doesn’t everyone have a seat? This may take a while.”

All of them took seats and settled themselves. Now that I had to tell them I was nervous. I can’t remember ever being as shook up as I was right now. Well, maybe, the time I first saw Anita would rate right up there. I shook my head; these thoughts were getting me nowhere.

Gunn seated himself at my feet. I was vaguely uncomfortable with that and I’m sure it had everything to do with all that politically correct nonsense. However, I wasn’t going to make him move. I needed the reassurance that his presence provided.

Absently my hand stroked his neck and shoulder. My voice was soft, tremulous, as I started, “I was doing a spell. I had been told that it was particularly difficult, and that I should *not* try this without support.” I shook my head ruefully. When did I ever listen to good, sound, advice?

“As you can probably guess, I didn’t wait. In fact I waited until everyone that could have or would have stopped me was out of town. My heart was in the right place. Maggie, my sister though not biologically, had gone up to bed. I knew that this would be my first, last, and only chance to do this spell.”

“What type of spell was it, exactly,” Wesley asked.

“I’m getting there,” careful to keep my tone light. I don’t think it totally worked though Angel threw a glare my way.

It irked me for some reason. Without conscious thought from me I could feel the warmth drain from my eyes, and a static buzzing filled my head. It was my killing zone; it was also the place where “Pain” dwelled.

“Pain” was a construct of mine. She was all the darker thoughts and emotions in me, and just a touch of Gabriel’s sadistic nature. “Pain” let me do things that *I* either couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do. She, as I like to call her, was my alter ego.

In this state I noted, with clinical detachment, the tension in the room skyrocketed. My fingers stilled on Gunn’s neck. The warmth of his skin increased, his heart rate accelerated, and his breathing became shallow. Spike joined Angel in front of me.

His face was a mask of confusion. Pain noticed things that I would normally miss, like how despite their supposed animosity Spike still looked to Angel for guidance. Angel subtly leaned on his childe, neither willing to acknowledge that they needed each other.

Fred’s nervousness was easily discernible. She stood as close to Wesley as she could get and not be sitting in his lap. Wesley’s hand held hers and rubbed soothing patterns on the back. He met my eyes without flinching. There was a darkness in him, a subtle hardness that the others either didn’t or couldn’t see.

Finally Pain shifted her focus to Gunn; he stared back. His eyes were a little wide, showing the whites of his eyes. He was close to panicking but refused to let fear rule him. It was that quiet desperation in him that broke some hold that Pain had.

I blinked slowly. My fingers returned to stroking the side of the young man’s neck. Whether he saw the change or knew on some deeper level that I was myself again I’ll never know. He relaxed under the touch.

“What the hell was that,” Angel demanded.

My eyes shot up to his and I could feel my upper lip pull back from my teeth. The feel of fingers digging into my left calf helped me keep a handle on my anger. I shot Gunn a small grateful smile. The young man rubbed his chin on my knee. I half expected him to purr.

I missed Maggie and the others so much. I could feel the lump rising in my throat again. Turning I stared out of one of the many windows that overlooked Los Angeles. I stared until the ache in my chest subsided a little. “That would be Pain,” I said my voice flat. “I guess you could call it an alter ego.”

“Well why did you call her up,” he snapped.

In that moment I had a rare flash of insight. He wasn’t angry because there had been any danger to himself; he was upset because there was so much in this room that he could have lost. It was probably one of the only things we had in common. When it came to others, we did *anything* to protect them.

My irritation with the man floated away. “I didn’t do it purposely,” I said evenly.

“Why did you do it at all,” he barked.

That was the last straw. I shot to my feet and closed the distance between us. My hands itched for my guns, but I shoved that down as I stood well inside Angel’s personal space. “What the fuck do you want me to say,” I demanded. “That being here scares the hell out of me? That your mere presence is as irritating as salt in an open wound?”

I could feel energy creeping along my skin and my own power rose in response. Angel and I glared at each other in open hostility. There was a certain amount of tension in the air. It was a certain something that said we were one harsh word away from coming to blows.

“So how exactly did you end up here,” Fred asked in her slightly accented voice.

Just like that the Mexican stand off was broken between the vampire and myself. I took a deep breath releasing it slowly and I turned to face her. I couldn’t be mad at her. She reminded me too much of Maggie. Her soft-spoken words deflected the anger and hostility.

“It was supposed to be a transfer of power, some of mine into Maggie.” I resumed my previous place in the chair. My elbows rested on my knees while my hands cupped my face. “I wasn’t prepared enough, I didn’t read it over carefully enough.”

The brunette’s small hand rubbed reassuring circles on my back. It tightened my throat. Reminded me that I was far, Far, FAR from home. My hands completely covered my face. “It was only supposed to have been used by one witch for another. The fact that I was something else entirely altered the spell, dramatically. I needed to prove not only myself, but by extension Maggie, worthy of such a feat.”

I looked up and could see the questions forming on their faces. I raised a hand to stall their words. “Don’t ask me. Right now everything’s hazy. The best I can tell you is that it isn’t someplace I *ever* want to visit again!”

“Hell,” Spike said.

My head tilted to one side and I looked at him quizzically. “Huh?”

“That’s most likely where you were,” Angel explained. “It would account for the brimstone scent that accompanied your landing.”

“Also why we thought you might be a threat,” Wesley added.

My eyes were deadly serious as I looked at the three of them. “To treat me as something other than a threat would be foolhardy in the extreme. I’m not looking to hurt anyone and I don’t plan on being here long enough to be an inconvenience, but I’m not exactly a nice person.”

“Already figured that out luv,” Spike said.

I could feel one of my eyebrows rise. “Oh? And what gave that away?”

“Two things actually,” Angel said. Again I got the feeling that the two of them were communicating on a level that the rest of us couldn’t understand.

“And what would those be,” I inquired lightly.

“First the door,” Angel motioned to where the shattered door lay on the carpet. “It’s missing its hinges, and the only the door is splintered, which means that your focused. No wasted energy was spent trying to break the doorframe.”

“The second,” Spike picked up where the brunette left off. “Your threat with the screwdriver. You said that you knew it wouldn’t kill him, *but* you could make it hurt like hell. Which says that you know about torture and vampire physiology.”

“Where are you from,” Wesley asked, as he appeared to be assimilating the information he’d just heard.

“St. Louis,” I said flatly. I hadn’t lied. I just hadn’t told them the total honest to goodness truth.

“Our St. Louis,” surprisingly, Fred asked. She was just too damn smart for her own good. She had heard not only what I’d said, but what I hadn’t said as well.

“No,” I said quietly. “I mean unless you now have all flavors of lycanthropes.”

Angel shook his head. “If not from here, then where?”

I sighed; this was going to be a lot tougher than I had thought it was going to be. “Do any of you happen to own an Anita Blake book?”

“You’re serious,” Gunn said from the floor.

Brown eyes met my hazel gaze. “Afraid so.”

He shook his head. “So your some character out of a book?”

I don’t know why I was offended. It’s basically what I’d just said, but still the comment rubbed me the wrong way. “NO! It’s just easier to explain if you already know about her.”

Spike snorted. I raised my head, locked eyes with the vampire and flipped him off. “This is getting us nowhere,” Angel interjected.

He was right, damn it! I didn’t like it when he was right. I think it had something to do with my own control issues. Whatever the case it brought me back to where I was. “Okay, I’ll give you the readers digest version of what has happened in my life. NO interruption though.”

I met everyone’s eyes until they had all agreed. Good, the last thing I needed was to stop and start confusing everyone including myself. “Where I’m from originally there was no such thing as vampires, werewolves, witches, and the like. In short we were a world without magic.”

I looked up already expecting them to launch questions at me. They gazed silently back at me waiting for me to continue. I guess I was expecting them to be like the Scoobies and interrupt even after they gave their word not to. “I guess that last statement isn’t totally true, but I’ll get to that in a minute. A group of friends,” my voice said the last word as if it were poison. “And I were really into the Anita Blake series. So into it in fact that we created an RPG, similar to D&D, but using the Anitaverse and it’s set of established rules. One night we all decided to elaborate a bit more on our game. We made it a full-blown type of play. I researched a supposed transportation spell. I even went and did the spell the way it was meant to be done.”

Stopping I laced my fingers and squeezed them tightly. I stared into my cupped hands. This part always hurt no matter how often I told the story. “When I said that we were a world without magic, it wasn’t totally true. Because if it was, that spell shouldn’t have worked, especially given the fact that it was for a game. It did work. It worked because we *believed* and that is a type of magic all on its own.”

I could feel the tears beginning to fill my eyes. I blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. Gabriel, which to this point I had not given much thought to floated at the edge of my conscious. It had been so long since I’d seen hide or hair of him that his touch was surprising to say the least.

Strangely the thought of him made me feel less alone. I was still here by myself but I wasn’t as alone as I’d thought I was. I guess I had been hoping that when I did the spell that it would take Gabriel away. It had another side affect as well; it gave a small measure of courage to go on. After all I was still here and my “friends” were six feet under.

“For the ritual to be complete my friends had to kill me. They tried. Believe me had it been anyone else they might have gotten away with it too. I was filled with hatred, and a thirst for vengeance so strong that I called out to *any* deity listening for help. I got what I wanted too.”

I couldn’t sit still. I stood abruptly and paced a bit before turning to stare out at the lights of Los Angeles. Each hand rested in the crook of the opposite elbow. My forehead rested on the cool glass of the window. “I followed them through the tear in our reality into the next but there had been too much damage already inflicted for me to be able to get very far.”

My body shivered involuntarily as I remembered that night more than two years ago, the feel of the ground steadily growing warmer while my body grew increasingly cooler. The realization that I was about to die sank in and made me angry all over again. “I didn’t die that night. Though only God knows why. I should have but when I woke up in the hospital I was no longer human, or at least not completely human by that world’s standards. I am what they call a lycanthrope. Every night of the full moon, and only the day of the actual full moon, I shift to my other form. A leopard.” A small smile graced my features. “A snow leopard to be exact. Not exactly like the rest of my Pard, but not too dissimilar either.”

“So you were bitten,” Wesley asked. His need to know apparently overcame his promise not to interrupt. I didn’t mind though, I needed a break.

“No. With the feline strain of lyncanthorpy a simple bite or scratch doesn’t automatically assure you of a turning, but blood will do the trick.”

“They bled on you,” the former watcher asked horror struck.

“Not intentionally. They thought I was dead; hell, *I* thought I was dying. I was in their hunting grounds. There was some sort of fight about who got to eat first and a fight ensued. Their combined blood fell on wounds already open. They were even nice enough to add a few more to the ones I already had,” the sarcasm thick in my voice.

I continued to stare out at the skyline. I didn’t blame them, really, I didn’t. There was still a part of me however that was bitter about what I had become. That wasn’t my Pard’s fault; those were my own personal issues. It was something I was going to have to work out on my own.

“Why did you do the spell,” Fred asked quietly. She drew my attention away from the pity party I was just starting.

Turning I slid down the glass to the floor. My eyes were on her only. Her eyes shone brightly with intelligence and concern. I briefly wondered if she was empathic. It would explain how she seemed to know just when I was going to unravel.

I bent my knees and rested my forearms against them. “In my world I am the Gatekeeper that can, in small part, decide which spirits come and go. I’m not claiming to be a deity, just someone with some very powerful mojo. Tied to me are the Gate and the Key. Maggie’s the Gate; Noah, a member of my Pard, is the Key that binds us together. When Maggie and I wound up tied to each other I thought it was a spell gone wrong. It wasn’t until much later that we realized what was going on.”

My fingers raked through my hair. God, how I missed that woman, missed the light scent of lilacs that always reminded me of her and her softly stern voice that would reprimand me for some transgression. I even missed the way her eyes would flash silver when she was really angry, though admittedly that didn’t happen too often.

“Maggie’s telekinetic along with being a psychic conduit,” I said softly to no one in particular. “She was shamed into believing that her gifts were the devil’s instruments and she shoved her ability down so deep that it takes something major for her to use them. She’s gotten better though.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I thought of my sister. We had been snipping at each other all day when I’d finally said the wrong thing. Her eyes flashed as she threw an entire library wall of books at me. She’d been apologetic and I’d just laughed. I’d done it to get a rise out of her and boy did I.

My hazel gaze met concerned brown eyes. “You asked why I did the spell,” Fred nodded her head. “I’ve started something in motion that could be *very* dangerous to her and she doesn’t have the healing abilities that Noah and I do. Nor does she have the speed and agility to keep her out of the line of fire. In short, I did the spell to protect her, protect her from myself and from those that would use her to hurt me.”

I turned my eyes to everyone in the room. “And that ladies and gentlemen is why I’m here today. Because I wanted to protect my family. It may not be the typical family but it’s the only one I’ve got, and I’m not going to let someone take it from me.”

The quiet determination in my voice must have said more than mere words could express. The assembled group looked back at me as if seeing me for the first time. It wasn’t an entirely comfortable silence, but in my experience the only way to get my point across was to let the quiet become deafening.

“So you want to go home,” Angel said at last.

Our eyes locked and we had a perfect moment of understanding. “More than anything.”