Disclaimer: Laurell K. Hamilton and the Berkley Publishing Group do not authorize this author. All characters that you recognize belong to Laurell K. Hamilton except for the ones created by the people in this group. This is solely for entertainment purposes.

Rating: R just to be on the safe side

Nightmares

Part Three

Reluctantly I left the shower.  I dried off and put on the clean clothes.  Sitting on the edge of the bed I stared at the hole now decorating my wall.  That was nice, now I was going to need to get a carpenter to come in here and repair the damage.  Or maybe Lil could get Dom to fix it.

I knew that I couldn't hide in here forever.  Eventually the girls would realize that I was stalling and come up to me if I didn't go down and talk to them.  Heaving a sigh I hefted myself off the bed and trudged down the stairs.  Each step echoed loudly in my mind.  I don't know why but I felt a sense of dread that had been increasing every time Conor and I had words.  It wasn't like we always got along, but for the most part we got along famously.

As I came back into the living room the sound of low voices stopped.  I guess they'd been trying to figure out what could have possibly caused me to throw not only Dante but also Conor out of the house. Slowly and without making eye contact with either one of them I lowered myself into the chair.  I sat there letting the silence gather around us.

Lilli was the first to break the silence.  "You can't make a statement like that then not tell us what's going on."

Trust Lil to come right to the point.  "No, perhaps you're right.  I should amend that statement.  I threw Conor out and rather pointedly suggested Dante leave."  A wry smile crossed my face.  "Oh and I need to have the hole in my bedroom wall repaired.  It seems that Dante didn't like to be asked to leave.  Found it quite objectionable I'd say."

They pair of them gaped at me.  Then Nahla shook her head.  "Okay Luna, you're going to have to tell us the whole story."

I debated how much I wanted to tell them.  In the end I decided that these were my best friends and if I couldn't tell them, whom could I tell?  Launching into my story I was mildly surprised when they didn't try to interrupt.  To be honest there wasn't a whole lot to tell.  Normally a five-minute story would take about thirty minutes to finish especially when there were questions shot in rapid succession.

Nahla and Lilli exchanged a meaningful look then glanced back at me.  Nahla clasped her hands together looked at me, sighed and said, "Luna, I know that you're a grown woman and you make your own choices... but I have to ask.  Are you trying to push Conor away?"

Dumbfounded I could only stare at her.  I wanted to automatically deny it.  I loved Conor, maybe not as much as he deserved, but we understood each other on a level that was hard to put into words.  How do you put into words what I was going through?  Part of it I could admit was cold feet.  How many times do you get married?  Wait, scratch that.  I was going to get married once, and only once.  Another part of me said that it could never work.  It wouldn't work because I was needed here.  All my friends were here.  Not to mention that Jean-Claude would absolutely forbid my leaving.  Okay, so maybe that was going a bit too far.  He wouldn't forbid me, but he'd make damn sure that I wouldn't want to leave.

Conor on the other hand wanted to go back to Ireland.  The thought of going to Ireland for a visit would have been fine with me, even if we'd have had to make that trip three or four times a year.  I could deal with that.  Somehow I knew that Conor hadn't been talking about visits though.  He wanted to go back permanently.

Looking at their worried faces I knew that I couldn't just sit there saying nothing.  "No, I'm not consciously pushing him away.  I'm just getting cold feet that's all."

From their skeptical looks I don't think either of them were buying it.  "Luna, you may not be consciously doing it, but you manage to do it any way.  You've said it yourself, you're commitment phobic.  So every time you start getting too close to someone you automatically start putting distance between you two."  Lilli held up her hand when I would have spoken.  "Sweetie, I'm really not saying this to be mean, but come on.  You can't have your cake and eat it too."

The sad, undeniable truth was they were right.  I could rage and shout, do any number of things but the truth will always be there staring me right in the face.  Well not this time, not if I could help it.  My hands slapped my thighs and I stood abruptly.  "You guys are right," I turned to look at them.  Their wide eyes and gaping mouths were a comical sight.  "What!  I can admit when I'm wrong.  I don't like to, but then again nobody likes to be wrong."

"Yeah, but how often do we get to hear you say that you fucked up," Lil said after finding her voice.

I shot her a dirty look.  "Well get your calendars out and mark it down then so it'll be there for posterity's sake," I said flippantly.

"So what are you going to do," Nahla asked mildly.

An indecent smile spread across my face, and a trickle of laughter erupted from my throat.  "Why, I'm going to go down to Dead Druids and screw his brains out, of course," I replied sweetly.

Lilli spit her drink out.  It ran down her chin and hit her blouse.  Her laughter rang in the room.  Lala was turning every shade of red known to man.  I couldn't help it; I began to laugh as well.  I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face and my sides were beginning to ache.

Our laughter was beginning to subside and Lala looked affronted.  "I'm serious Luna!  What are you going to do?"

I held up my hands up in front of me in a surrendering gesture.  "Alright, alright.  If you really want to know, I'm just going to call and see if he has any plans for this evening."

"And if he does," Lil queried with trace amounts of laughter still in her voice.

"Tell him to cancel them," I responded cheekily.

"What if he doesn't," Lala asked grumpily.

"I am not without my wiles.  I'm pretty sure that I can convince him that he'd rather spend time with me than doing whatever else he thought of doing."  I was batting my eyelashes at the pair of them.  Lil was beginning to giggle.  It was kind of cute.  you didn't hear her giggle that often and when she did it was always a sound that induced a smile.

"Luna, you could sell ice to Eskimos," Lilli said amusement plain in her tone.

"Thank you Lil.  I happen to know that your powers of persuasion are truly a thing to behold," I told her with a wink.

She bowed her head in acceptance of the compliment.  I smiled at them and bounded up the stairs to call Conor.  A strange sort of excitement bubbled up inside me and I couldn't contain the giggle that escaped my lips.  I snatched the phone out of its cradle and dialed Dead Druids.

After listening to all the computer-automated stuff I waited for a real live person to pick up the line.  The call was answered on the fifth ring.  You could hear the loud pulsing of the music in the background.  A loud male voice, that I recognized as Liam's was shouting to be heard over the band.  "Dead Druids, this is Liam how can I help you?"

"You can start by putting me through to Conor, Liam," I called good-naturedly.

"Luna-girl, is that you?"

"Sure is.  Is he real busy," I asked a trickle of dread running through me.

"Not when you're calling he's not," I could hear the smile in Liam's voice.  "Just hang on a minute and I'll see if I can't get this infernal thing to transfer ya."

The silence was sudden and deafening.  It was only a moment or two later when Conor's smooth voice came over the line.  I briefly wondered if his connection to Killian gave him some kind of boost with the voice tricks.  "This is Conor."  That was him a no frills kind of guy.  I don't even think he realized the effect his voice had on me.

"Hey Sweetie," I said somewhat hesitantly.

"Luna this had better be important," he said curtly.

My brows knit together.  That wasn't exactly the kind of greeting I was expecting, but it could always be worse.  I tried to keep my quick temper in check.  "I thought it was or I wouldn't have called."

"Well," he prompted.

He was throwing me off.  Don't get me wrong.  I didn't think that he would be pleased to hear from me after the way I acted this morning.  But this cold, aloof stranger I did not expect.  "It's just that I was kinda wondering what your plans for this evening were..." I let the statement hang there.

He heaved a sigh that raised goose bumps on my arms even over the phone.  "Luna, it's really not a good time right now."

I couldn't help the quick flash of temper, "Why not," I demanded.

"I have guests here that I must attend to," he said patiently.

"I'm not asking you to leave your guests forever, just for a couple hours.:

"Luna, sweetheart, I can't."

"Cant? Or won't," I asked petulantly.

"Can't.  As in can not.  As in..."

"I know what it means," I cut him off.  "Okay if you can't leave how about I come to you," I heard the hopeful note in my voice and prayed that Conor didn't notice it as well.

"Can it possibly wait?"

"No, otherwise I won't tell you what I need to."  I was being childish.  I knew it and I didn't care especially if it got me my way.

He fell silent like he was thinking about it.  There was the faint sound of the music, the sound of Conor picking up a glass, then another sigh.  "Okay, two hours.  That's all I can spare."

Grinning despite the fact that he couldn't see it.  "That's more than enough time.  I'll be down there in few."

"Luna, don't hurry."

"Why," I asked instantly suspicious.

He chuckled.  "Because I know how you drive.  Please remember this isn't the Indy 500.  Take your time.  I'm going to be here all night."

"But I thought you just said I only had two hours?"  I was confused and it carried clearly over the phone.

"You do," he said indulgently.  "Two hours from when you get here."

"Oh," was all I could manage.  Witty comebacks are me.  I rolled my eyes.  "Well then I'll see you soon."

"See ya.  Love you."

"Love you more," I said brightly.

"Always have to have the last word don't you," he asked with mild amusement.

"You should know that by now."

"I do.  It just never fails to surprise me.  Bye Luna," he said and promptly hung up.

The laughter bubbled up from inside me.  The brat!  He'd done that on purpose.  At the moment I couldn't seem to make myself care.  He wasn't thrilled with me but he was at least willing to listen.

I opened the closet door and stared at my clothes.  I needed something that would grab his attention but something that wouldn't be so distracting that he couldn't hold a conversation.  The longer I stared the more I realized that most of my clothing was designed for the opposite reaction.

Well I did have a couple of things.  I pulled them out laid them on the bed and debated which I was going to wear.  There was the cute blue floral print; it hit me about mid-thigh and had wide poet sleeves.  I'd never tell any one but it was one of my favorites.  It reminded me somehow of all the Easter dresses I'd had as a little girl.  Next was a variegated red sundress.  It had a fairly low neckline and was the same length as the other dress.  The last was a suede A-frame dress that matched my jacket and moccasins.

I quickly dismissed the blue floral print as he'd seen that before.  The red dress suffered the same fate, and for the same reason.  Ultimately I chose the suede dress simply because the shoes would be easy.  Returning the other two dresses to the closet I pulled the jacket and moccasins out and laid them on the bed.

My hair was easy enough to do.  I put some mousse in it scrunched it up a bit then pulled the hair back from my face and secured it with a gold clip that Patrick had given me.  The make up was light and natural looking.  I didn't really need it but somehow it felt reassuring to put it on any way.

Changing quickly I glanced at the clock saw how late it was and debated on whether or not to add anything other then the Browning to the jacket.  In the end I did.  I added two blades both of which could be concealed in the jacket.  The final touch was the garrote that doubled as a necklace.  The only person I know that had seen it for what it was had been Edward.  The little stars and moon hanging on each end hadn't fooled him.  He knew what he was looking at.

Did I really believe that I needed all this?  No, but I figured better paranoid than dead.  I could always feel foolish tomorrow. Checking my reflection for the last time and tucking in stray hairs I decided I was as ready as I was going to get.  Winking at myself in the mirror I turned off the lights, shut the bedroom door and headed down stairs.

When I reached the living room the girls looked away from the television to me. "Well it looks like someone is getting lucky tonight," Lilli joked.

"Yeah me," I said then blew a raspberry at her.  "I'm lucky he didn't just hang up on me.  Wish me luck."

"Good luck, not that I think you'll need it.  You look great Luna," Nahla commented.  Lil nodded her head agreeing with Lala.

"Thank you.  Don't wait up," I called on my way to the door.

"Don't worry we won't," they cried in unison.

The trip down to Conor's club was uneventful.  Hell I didn't even speed like I normally do.  The window was down the music was blaring and I was feeling pretty good.  I parked Igor in the employee parking lot and went around to the front.  I wanted to talk to Liam and the only way I could do that is if I went in the main entrance.

I bypassed the line to the annoyance of some of the other patrons.  I took the steps two at a time leaving no doubt that I was not only a regular but a VIP as well.  Derek was on the door tonight.  Grinning broadly I walked over to him.  His answering grin told me that he was glad to see me.  "It's been a while Luna.  I thought for sure that fiancé of yours had run you off or forbidden you to come."

Laughing I answered, "Yeah, like that's something I'd do.  Besides if I stopped coming I'd miss your charming company."

He threw his head back his laughter filling the night air.  "Conor's right, you are a tease."

I smiled at him.  "Honey you ain't seen nothing.  This is just friendly banter, we aren't even in the vicinity of flirting yet."

Derek's honey brown eyes were twinkling merrily.  "He must be a better man than I.  I don't know if I could let you out and not wonder if you were hooking up with someone else."

Again I laughed.  "Sweetie, even if I wanted to hook up with someone else somehow I think he'd know about it before I got too far."  I waved the ring at him.  "I think it has something to do with this piece of jewelry."

His broad hand hovered over the ring and my hand for a moment before pulling back.  He grinned.  "I'd say that was a definite possibility.  Go on now.  I assume he knows you were coming."

"Yeah he knows.  I'm just going to say hi to Liam then go find him."

He made a sweeping gesture with his arms.  "Then don't keep him waiting.  He's been in a foul mood all night."

"Trouble," I asked concern plain in my voice.

"Naw, at least I don't think so.  I think his guests are starting to get on his nerves."

"Now, that I can understand.  It's like my dad used to say, 'Guests and fish are both bad after three days'."

We shared a laugh at that.  He half turned as I was going towards the door.  Just as I was about to step through the familiar smack to my rear signaled to the others that I was clear to go through without a search.  I doubted that it was actually a signal, but that's what Derek had said and I let him have his away.  Besides what harm is there in a simple pat on the butt?

The music hit me and had I not been expecting it it might have been enough to stagger me.  I didn't know who was playing but they were pretty good.  I wondered if Dom and his band had played here.  They'd have been an instant success.  Maybe they already were.  I hadn't been here in a while so maybe they had played and I'd missed them.  Which was a shame.  I really did enjoy their music.

Wading through the crowd was easy, as it seemed to be a slow night.  I carefully made my way to the bar and walked down until Liam's familiar form came into sight.  I leaned on the bar watching as he took care of the customers in front of him.  I'll never know how he did but he always seemed to know when I was there.  His head turned, eyes searching until they landed on me.  A smile split his face and he wandered down to me.

"Luna-girl, it's good to see you," his thick accent carrying over the crowd.

Using the barstool for added height I leaned up on tiptoe.  I kissed his cheek.  "How is my favorite fey?"

"Favorite, eh?  They why are ya marrying that one in back," he asked good-naturedly.

I twisted around on the barstool, threw my head on the bar and place the back of my hand to my forehead.  "Because you refused all my advances," I stated dramatically.  "So I have to make do with second best."  I winked conspiratorially at him.

His deep rumbling chuckle brought a smile to my lips.  "Second best, is he now?  Just wait till I tell him that."  He eyed me for a moment then said, "Are you sure you're not part fey?"

Looking at him from upside down was beginning to give me a crick.  I turned around and looked at him properly while he opened an MGD for me.  I took a drink from the beer before answering.  "You know, I'm not really sure.  I doubt it though.  Why? What's up?"

He shook his head.  "You have a knack for flattery that any fey worth their weight would give their eye teeth for.  Mark my words girl, if you check your family history, I bet a couple generations back there is going to be a fey of some kind."

I took another drink from the beer and pondered what he'd said.  Why would he say something like that now?  Was it because Conor and I were getting married?  Was it a warning of some kind?

Damn it, I thought and meant it.  I don't need this now.  Deciding I had lollygagged long enough I headed for the offices of Dead Druids.  I stopped at the door marked with a little brass nameplate bearing the title Manager.  I knocked with the bottle.  A tired sounding Conor called, "Come in."

The office had been redecorated since the last time I'd been in here.  Conor sat behind a mahogany desk with a swiveling black leather chair.  A crystal glass half full with an amber liquid that I knew to be some Irish whiskey or other sat by his elbow.  I never could keep them straight.

The last time I'd been in this office there had been two couches.  Now however they were down to one, done in a blue so dark that it looked black in the dim lighting.   There was an antique looking secretary that matched the desk sitting in the corner.  There was a low coffee table made of some dark wood.  There were coasters and a few magazines on it.

There was new carpeting too.  It matched the couch and was thick enough to sink in.  The only other piece of furniture that escaped redecoration was the oil painting of Killian's home in Ireland.  The new appearance gave the office a more homie feel.  It was a great new look, one I was fairly confident that Conor hadn't come up with on his own.  Oh dont get me wrong, Conor had wonderful taste, but he was more of a unless it's necessary it don't go kind of guy.

Turning to look at him I smiled timidly, "I like what you've done in here.  Very inviting.  I take it you spend a lot of time here now?"  I made it a question because I didn't want to sound too bitchy.  After this morning he was probably expecting me to demand some answers.  Well I wanted to but I knew that I wasn't the only injured party here.

"Some," he replied noncommittally.

I wanted to grind me teeth in frustration, but I knew that wouldn't get me anywhere.  I settled for seating myself in one of the leather client chairs across from him and set the bottle on one of the coasters on the desk.  I met his piercing blue eyes.  "I wanted to talk to you about this morning," I said slowly.  He merely arched an auburn eyebrow at me.  I gripped my hands in my lap to keep from saying or doing something to screw this up before I'd even had the chance to apologize.  "You're not making this easy for me," I growled.

"What exactly am I supposed to make easier for you," he asked sardonically.

My hands convulsed in my lap and it took everything in me not to scream at him.  I was beginning to think he was enjoying this.  Taking a deep breath in through my nose and letting it out through my mouth I leaned forward.  "Conor, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning," I began hesitantly when it appeared that he was listening I continued.  "It's just that sometimes, for whatever reason, I just can't sleep by myself.  Normally that's when I would and did call you.  But you weren't even home.  Nahla and Lilli were both out for the night," I shrugged.

All he was doing was staring at me.  That couldn't be a good sign.  Or maybe, I cautioned myself, you're just jumping to conclusions.  The longer we sat there the more uncomfortable the silence became.  I was about at my breaking point.  All the anger I had shoved down to come here, to make the effort to apologize, was pointless because he wasn't saying a word.

I couldn't stand it another minute and my anger got the better of me.  "Damn it Conor, why don't you say something," I snapped.

"What do you want me to say," he drawled a hint of his accent coloring his words.

"I don't know, fuck you, go to hell," I threw up my hands.  "Something, anything.  Just don't sit there staring at me like something odious that you'd rather not be around."

He sighed, "Luna, I told you that I was busy.  I've rearranged some things to give you some time to come down here and say your piece.  I didn't know that I was required to reciprocate."

My eyes bugged out.  Oh no, he didn't just say that, did he?  Judging by his deadpan expression he had.  Snatching up the beer bottle off the desk I threw it at his head.  Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, the bottle sailed over his head as he ducked and hit the wall behind him.

He came out of his crouch and glared at me.  "Just what in God's name was that for?"

Laying my hands on the desk and glaring right back at him.  "I don't know maybe for calling me an inconvenience.  Or I don't know maybe for not even bothering to acknowledge the fact that I came down here offering an olive branch." I spit each angry word into his face.  Shoving the desk back against him I was enraged.  "Do you have any idea what it took for me to come down here and even attempt an apology?"

I spun away from the desk and crossed my arms over my stomach.  I was hurt, but more than that I was embarrassed.  I'd been so excited to come down here and now it seemed like a wasted trip.  It was enough to make tears well up in my eyes.  God, would I ever fucking learn?  Maybe this was just pay back for all the shit I'd put Shang-Da through.  Of course given the fact that he'd gone psycho I discounted that thought.

The soft sound of footfalls told me that Conor was coming.  I held up one had.  "Don't fucking touch me," my voice was so choked that I didn't even recognize it.  It was a combination of anger and embarrassment.

He didn't listen to me.  He laid his hands on my shoulders.  I turned to face him the Browning in my hand before I'd even thought to go for it.  The barrel pressed painfully against the underside of his jaw.  "Give me one fucking reason not to," I gritted out from behind clenched teeth.

Conor showed surprising courage.  Many others would have been shaking like a leaf and begging to be spared.  His blue green eyes stared at me.  He wasn't disturbed in the least that there was a gun jammed under his jaw.  Everything about him said that he was completely confident.  In that moment I hated that look.  I thumbed back the trigger, hoping, waiting for a flash of fear, something, anything.  It was unnerving to have any one look at me like that.  A small smiled crooked his lips.  "You're upset.  It's understandable.  The wedding's rapidly approaching that leaves you feeling like you've painted yourself into a corner."  His thumbs brushed the sides of my neck causing me to shiver.

Pulling away from him, "I hate you," I spat.

He crossed his arms over his chest.  "Hardly, you just wish you could. What's really bothering you?"

I heaved a sigh.  "I don't know. I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out.  Why would you think I'd want someone else?  Have I given you any indication that I don't love you?"

"I think finding you in bed with another man says quite enough, don't you," he stated with barely concealed anger.

That surprised me and I couldn't help but laugh.  Conor's face became shuttered.  Walking over to him I put a hand on his crossed arms.  "Sweetie, when weres share a bed it isn't sexual.  Or at least not always," I placed my fingers over his lips when he would have spoken.  "Yes, Dante and I were intimate.  Were being the operative word.  Until last night we'd gone out of our way to avoid each other."

He jerked his head back.  "If you were avoiding each other why call him at all?"

I sighed again.  I wondered if he would even understand.  The least I could do was give it a shot.  Crossing the room I sat down on the couch and patted the space next to me.  Grudgingly he came over to me and sat down.  "Get comfortable, this is going to take a while," I said mildly

He got up again crossed over to his desk opened a drawer and produced two MGD's.  He turned grabbed his glass and the decanter beside it.  Conor returned to where I was offering me the beers and settled himself more comfortably on the couch.

Opening the bottle I took a swig without really tasting it.  I rolled the beer between my hands before I finally looked at him.  "When you first left things with Shang-Da started to get better.  He was finally loosening up a bit.  I thought things were falling into place," my voice was flat unemotional, I couldn't help that.  Some of these memories were painful.

Conor must have sensed something because he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pushed me against his side.  I rested my head on his shoulder.  The smell of him was intoxicating and somehow soothing.

"I should have known better," I gave bitter laugh.  "You know, it should have told me something when no one wanted challenge him for the position for Hati.  That alone should have rang the alarm bells, but nooo, I was so sure I could tame him." I rolled my eyes and shook my head depreciatively

"So things got real bad," he questioned quietly.

"You could say that," I stood up removed my jacket and turned; giving him his first good look at my left shoulder.  His gasp told me he saw them.  Four thin parallel scars.  There was no mistaking what they were, healed claw marks.  When he touched one I flinched involuntarily.

He pulled me roughly against him.  I turned in his arms burying my face in the crook of his neck.  I let the tears flow freely.  His hands ran in small comforting circles.  My hands clenched the fabric of his shirt.  I couldn't have told you why now it bothered me, but it did.  I don't know how long we stayed that way.  I just wish that we'd been able to stay that way forever.