|In Memory of Les
Who tragicaly took his own life....
You gave so much of yourself to those you loved
You were my inner strength
Words alone could never convey the emptiness you have left within me...
Or the internal scream that never leaves me when I found you...
|I am amidst a nightmare
Athough I'm not asleep
The image-just suspened there
In haunt will always keep
The door across the side
From that where I were standing
Obscureed my thought in hide
To conscious understanding
For that which were in front of me
At time was not made clear
In disbelief it could not be
Although you were so near
I wondered why you did not speak
Why you did not stir
Until I heard a death-like shriek
From deep within occur
Distant voices of distorted proof
Filled time and space between
Detachment from the voice of truth
Bellowed o'er the internal scream
This nightmare is reality
It's here with me each day
Imprinting doubts of sanity
The price each day I pay
I want so much to tell you
The hell you've put me through
For you to reassure me
And say 'none of it was true'
But now I have to live
Each day with now your passing
Searching for a hope a light
To the greyness it is casting.
|Death pulses an unearthly beat
It creeps within your core
Exists in time of sleep
Each moment forevermore
At night I lie awake
In comfort of a light
Darkness is too high a stake
To risk within the night
Shadows flicker-sounds that creep
Images and voices in my head
Disturbing shifts that deny you sleep
Memories that feed you now with dread
Altered flashbacks in rapid succession
Come and go at will
Silent whispers of thanks and confession
Feeling your presence still
Panic stricken-it now immobilises
But leaves a stream of tears
As now my mind realises
You're not part of future years
Your death came unpredicted
So sudden in its claim
Will life ever be the same?
|Time ticks by reflecting
That which I did not know-then
Inkling to something yet not connecting
The image that later faced me-WHEN
Could never have envisaged the sight
In my wildest imaginative mind
Nothing could have instilled such fright
As the memory continues to rewind
The phone must have echoed around your flat
Where no life could hear my call
You suspended at precisely-that
Positioned behind your kitchen wall
And I went about my usual morning
In oblivion to that unknown
Nothing really giving me warning
To that-which would later be shown
Did your neighbours pass your door?
Unaware of your horrific sight
Spared from the image I saw
That took your final light
What was your last consideration?
What words did you cry alound-in vain?
How long did you spend in hesitation
Agonising in suffering and pain
Did memories flood your mind?
Before you took your last
Knowing you'll never find
The emptiness you've now cast
And where do you find yourself now?
Do you haunt our surrounding space?
Wishing you could turn back the hour
To our welcoming warm embrace.
|The phantom of a Priestess
The phantom of my imagery bestows a gift to me
Through movement that instils my soul endorse my eyes to see
The veil that envelops through layers of shadowed mist
Reveals itself a guise portrays what now I can’t resist
A movement that sweeps o’er me in wonderment fulfils
The essence of divine I sense in haunt she now reveals
Priestess she haunts in travel through the essence of my soul
Recapturing a spell recreation of herself thru me she sees her role
Her movements flow in rhythm A Dance she now begins
Takes on instinctive movements in whispers now she sings
Her web she weaves throughout me I now take on her form
Outpouring rush floods now my core taking me by storm
Desires of her deep passion intrigue my sense to find
Tis me she lives thru mortal life impressed upon unconscious mind.
Why did you never reveal to me
Just how bad it got
Did you hope that I'd foresee
Put end to your death wish plot
Did I fail to miss the warnings
To engrosed within my own life
Fall short to hear your callings
To notice your distress and strife
Did you ever think to deliberate?
When ever we made chat
Or purposely chose to confiscate
My chance to save the act
God only knows I can relate
To the torment you felt within
But now left knowing-its to late
The choice you made-you win
Why did you never stop to think?
Just how much pain you'd cause
Why did you let yourself then sink
If only you stopped to pause
To give some thought to those you cared
And those who loved you too
Together then we could have shared
And maybe still had you.