<BGSOUND SRC="tearsihe.mid" LOOP=INFINITE>
MY STORY

     I was 19 when I meet my first love, and first boyfriend.  Everything was going so well for the first two months, then  the beatings began.  Since he was my first boyfriend and I was afraid of losing him, I believed everything he was telling me.  He would tell me that no one else would want me because I was too fat, I weighed in at a whopping 126 lbs..  He told me this for almost a year and I foolishly stayed with him.

     In August of '96 I started to become ill from everything I ate or smelled.  One of my friends kept telling me I was probably pregnant but I was in denial and did not believe her.  I finally caved in and one weekend took a home pregnancy test which came up positive.

     I was very hesitant to tell my ex not knowing how he would take the news.  When I did tell him he seemed very excited.  We both went to my doctor appointments together and I thought he loved the baby as much as I did.  Little did I know then!

     I carried to full term and on my due date of April 13th, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl weighing 7 lbs. 2 oz., we named her Amber Elizabeth.  When I held her for the first time, I started to cry.  It was so hard for me to realize this beautiful little girl was mine, all mine. I wanted to go home that same day, but remained in the hospital for 3 days.

     One night I went out with a friend and my ex stayed with Amber.  I got home around 2AM and went straight to bed.  I awoke around 8 in the morning and knew right away that something was wrong.  Amber always awoke between 5:30 and 8:00, but this morning she wasn't crying and I ran to her room to find she was barely breathing.  I called the ambulance immediately.

     When she arrived at the ER, and after examining her, I was informed she had a skull fracture.  I was in Shock!!  When questioned by the police as to what had happened the night before, I told them I had been out and my ex had been with her.

     They went to question him and while they were he broke down crying and told them that he loved Amber but couldn't stand the crying.  Amber remained in a coma for 4 days when I decided not to prolong her suffering any longer.  It was the hardest decision I have every had to make.

     As she laid in my arms while her precious life was ending, I prayed to God to show me a sign that she was alright.  Two minutes later she looked up at me and said "Mama".  My heart started beating so hard I thought it would come right out of my chest.  They were her first words and her last.  She then went to join all the other angels in Heaven.

     I knew then that she was fine and playing with her GreatGrandpa in Heaven.  We had a Memorial service 3 days later and since then have celebrated her birthday every year. 

     Today she would be 6 years old and miss her today as much as I did the day she left us.  I know in time I will join my angel and till then she is the Guardian Angel to her 1 year ol and 3 month old brothers.