The little light they had from the day was fading rapidly, and Alec desperately wanted to find some kind of sign of civilization before nightfall. Hell, he almost wished they would’ve stayed in the cellar until the following morning just so they could’ve had seven or eight hours of sunlight- however dim it was. Of course, he knew Max wouldn’t have agreed to that. She wanted to get a move on, cause thoughts of Joshua worried her more and more. But Alec couldn't help but feel frustrated. The lantern that he'd brought on his initial search for Max was running low, and it was getting bitterly cold. He was engineered to survive freezing weather for quite a while, but it didn’t mean he enjoyed having to do it.
Joshua.
He had to admit that he was a little worried about dogboy, as well. That knowledge made him grimace, though, and he sighed. Great. Max’s naiveté and idealism was starting to rub off on him. Before long, he’d be a regular Mother Theresa – or worse - Logan. Thinking of Logan made him frown even more. Not that he really disliked Logan, but he didn’t quite *like* him, either. He didn’t know why, really. Logan was okay - well, as okay as could be expected for a norm. They’d even been in a couple of tight spots together and they’d worked well as a pair. But deep down, he just thought that Max and Logan weren’t….right. Max always seemed so damn depressed around him. And the guy did practically everything Max wanted him to. She had Logan wrapped around her pinky finger.
Of course, Alec didn’t even pause to think that he hadn’t really denied Max anything either, because that wasn’t the point.
She needed someone that provided her an intellectual and physical challenge. Someone who had the balls to stand up to her; someone who wouldn’t back down in an argument (as no doubt Logan probably did). Of course, the virus thing had proven to be a big hurdle in their relationship, and Alec knew they were spending less and less time with each other because of it. It was probably for the best. Max seemed to have some kind of weird notion that her and Logan were destined. Several times, Alec wanted to point out to her that if there was such a ridiculous thing as ‘fate’, then why was the same fate that wanted her and Logan together constantly pushing them apart? Alec never actually said this to her, however, for fear of losing an eye, an ear, a hand or another important part of his male anatomy.
That was his not-quite humble opinion on the matter, though. And he thought it was a very fair and very objective view.
‘You’re just jealous’, a little voice whispered out of the depths of his mind, causing him to nearly trip over a tree stump buried under the snow.
What?
Jealous?
Jealous? Him? Even though it was in his mind, his internal voice's pitch was rising in incredulity.
Jealous, my ass!
He most certainly was not. Not. At. All. Not of *Logan*. Hell, the guy couldn’t even walk without the bionic legs.
He silently scoffed. He had absolutely no reason to be even a little envious of Mr. Four-Eyes-Only.
None.
Whatsoever.
Right?
****
Max was looking down at the ground as she walked, her own thoughts going a mile a minute. She wanted to be annoyed with Alec. Upset with Alec. Hate Alec. But she couldn’t quite pull it off - not as much as she would've liked to, anyway. Oh, he still drove her crazy, but not in the same way he had just a few short hours ago. This bothered her greatly, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't summon up the dislike that had kept her distant from him since they had met. He just had to seem so damn earnest in the cellar when they were talking about Ben, when he had asked her if she hated him because of the resemblance to the dead X5. His eyes had struggled to stay flat and emotionless, but he couldn’t hide it from her. After all, she was a master at hiding emotions behind an uninterested façade.
She grimaced as she felt a small twitch in her stomach. A very brief feeling of nausea passed through her and just as soon as it came, it was gone. Her head, however, was starting to throb dully with the beginnings of what was sure to be a massive headache.
Greeeaaat. That was just what she needed on top of everything else that had already went wrong. She rolled her eyes heavenward in a silent plea of sorts when a dim light in the distance caught her gaze. She quickly focused in on the light, which appeared to be shining from a window of a farmhouse. She squinted and tried to get more details - it was a two-story, somewhat run down structure. In the driveway next to it was an equally dilapidated dark blue or black pick up truck. About fifty feet behind the home was a quaint cottage. There were no lights on in it, and Max guessed that it was probably unoccupied. She gave a small sigh of relief. Civilization, finally. It seemed as if they had been walking for hours. Usually, it wouldn't have been a problem, but the snow slowed them down and her pants were wet. Her feet were freezing through her wet shoes, and her feet felt sticky from it.
"Alec, over there." He turned to her, and she nodded in the direction of the house. She saw his vision narrow as he sharpened in on it. Then, relief relaxed his features. He, too, was glad to see signs of life. "Good job, Maxie," he congratulated offhandedly. He moved his eyes to her and sudden concern had him furrowing his brow. "Hey, are you feeling okay?" he asked. "You look a little pale."
"I'm fine. Just got a little headache coming on, that's all." She answered, careful not to meet his stare. Alec took a small breath, seemingly about to say something more, but she brushed past him before he could. "Let's go. Joshua is counting on us," she reminded, obviously trying to change the subject. He decided to let her get away with it, and quickened his pace to keep up with her.
However, Max really wasn't feeling fine. The pain in her temple was rapidly growing sharper, and she could feel it with each step she took. She was careful not to move her head too much as it just made the ache worse. Her stomach was also beginning to feel queasy again, and she wanted to cry out in frustration. Dread was filling her, and she knew exactly what was happening. Her treacherous body was once again turning on her.
Damn it to hell!
Max had dealt with these symptoms - she had dealt with them all her life. These were the signs of a seizure.
****
Alec wasn't fooled. Something was up with Max; it was written all over her face. Her eyes were drawn and slightly glassy. Whether she knew it or not, she was walking a bit more sluggishly as well. He knew she wasn't going to like it one bit, but when they got to the cottage, he was going to make her rest for a bit. He wondered if this was the after-effect of hypothermic state last night, but he doubted. She should be fine now - they were designed to recover quickly, after all.
That's when Max suddenly stumbled and fell to her knees.
"Max!" He immediately knelt beside her and wrapped his large hand around her delicate upper arm. Her hair hung limply in front of her face, successfully hiding her pained expression from him. "What the hell is going on?" he asked, but there was no venom in his voice, just concern.
"Nothing. I just tripped on something, that's all," she said, but her voice was weak.
"Uh-huh." It was apparent that he didn't buy her explanation. His grip tightened -but no painfully so - on her, and he gently helped her resume a standing position. He wrapped his arm around her waist and brought her to lean on him for support. She weakly struggled against him, but to no avail.
"Alec, what the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked with as much hostility as she could muster, which wasn't much at all.
He felt her tremble violently in his embrace, and it dawned on him what was wrong - she was having a seizure
"Nice to see your deductive reasoning skills are still at their peak after ten years out in the world alone," he said with light sarcasm lacing his voice. "I'm letting you lean on me." His voice dropped and he leaned further into her, offering silent support. "You know, you don't have to keep coming up with these excuses to try and get close to me, Max. Contrary to popular belief, I'm a pretty easy guy to get to know intimately." His eyes twinkled with mischief as he looked down at her.
"Keep dreaming, pretty boy. It'll be a cold day in h-" another shudder racked her body and interrupted her quip.
She struggled to get herself under control, then stiffened and tried to move away from him again. "I told you, I'm fine. Just let me go."
"It's obvious your fine," he drawled, rolling his eyes. Before he could speak again, she cut him off.
"Look," Max suddenly snapped. "Even if - " she took a deep breath and closed her eyes while trying to fend off another fit. She was successful and looked at him as she began again, softening her voice this time, and with a different approach. "We've got to get find Joshua as soon as possible. He can't afford us traipsing around in God's country pausing every five minutes to stop and smell the roses."
"Max, if White were going to kill him, he would have done so immediately instead of kidnapping him. Joshua is still alive. I'm sure that White's got his reasons, but whatever they are, let's be thankful that right now they are keeping Joshua breathing. Now, you won't do anybody any good like this. You're weak and would be pretty much helpless. You need to rest and we need to get you some milk. I need to eat. I'm also very tired and would like a shower, as well. That shack behind the main house is the perfect spot to accomplish all this. We can start off again first thing in the morning. Break of dawn. I promise." Alec was displaying a rare moment of seriousness and reason - and Max knew he was right. She wouldn't be worth anything the rest of the night, and was fighting hard to keep the seizure down as much as possible. She felt it building up in stomach however, and it was promising to be more of a pain in the ass than it already was.
"Fine," she sighed tremulously. "We'll rest. But we're outta here as soon as I'm feeling better, so you better hurry with that shower and get as much rest as you can. But I walk on my own, I don't need you to carry me or anything like that. Got it?" Alec shrugged and let go of her. Much to her embarrassment, another convulsion overtook her and though she tried desperately to keep her balance, she couldn't help but lurch forward in pain.
"You know, accepting help isn't necessarily a weakness Max. Even if it means accepting from me." Alec said and drew her to his side again, shifting the lantern he was carrying to his other hand. This time, Max had no smart comment for him. She just accepted his support.
They reached the small cottage and climbed up three makeshift steps onto its small porch. Alec had no trouble picking the lock on the door, and they entered. The scent of mothballs and dust immediately filled their nostrils. He didn't dare turn on a light for fear that the owners would notice and decide to inspect.
It was a rather quaint chalet, with a few inexpensive furnishings, but it was cute nonetheless. The living room greeted them first. It was tidy with a small sofa against the far wall and rocking chair tucked into the corner. There was a TV on a small stand, and two end tables with matching lamps that sat on either side of the couch. To the right was a hallway, and Alec decided to follow that. He felt Max shiver at his side, and he glanced down at her. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut, and her face was contorted in pain. Something sharp tugged at his heart, and he fought the urge to brush an errant hair off her cheek. No doubt she would find that to be an unwelcome gesture, and even if she was too weak to kick his ass now, she'd make him pay for it later. Not to mention that he didn't all the bitching that she would do until she could kick his ass, either.
Nevertheless, he did hold her tighter to him as they continued on down the hall. They came to the bedroom and he nudged the door open with his foot. This room was also adorned with cheap furniture, and there wasn't a frame or headboard for the bed - the mattress and boxspring just sat flat on the floor. It would do, however, and he crossed to it.
****
It hurt, as seizures always did, and she was relieved when she felt her legs bump into a soft mattress.
"Max," Alec whispered gently. "Found you a bed. Lay down. I'm gonna get you a nice tall glass of milk." He dropped his arm from around her waist but brought both hands to her shoulders. For once since…..well, for as long as she had known him, she was actually grateful for his presence. To be blunt, seizures were hell on her, and it was nice to have someone around and helping, even it was Alec.
"Thanks," she said.
The gratitude seemed to take Alec by surprise. "You should have seizures more often if you act like this."
"It takes a lot of energy to be a bitch, and I'm just too exhausted for it now. I'll make up for it tomorrow. I promise," she tried to give him a small smile, but couldn't quite make it form on her lips.
He chuckled softly. "Well, I guess I can be a bigger dick than usual, if I have to. It's a tough job, but I do it so damn well." This time, her grin was a bit more successful, yet the pain still evident on her face. She flicked her eyes down, feeling a bit awkward at their facetious, almost friendly banter.
He pulled the sheets and blankets back for her and eased her down onto the bed. With care, he tucked her in and then looked at her, an odd expression of his face. She couldn't help but stare back at him. His eyes were filled with something that resembled …tenderness? She swallowed thickly. She could handle 'smarmy Alec', 'sarcastic Alec', 'selfish Alec' and, of course, 'smart Alec'. But 'concerned Alec' and 'emotional Alec' were something else all together. He didn't bother turning away from her stare, and for once, he didn't seem to be in a hurry to hide the very real emotion in his eyes. He just stared directly at her, almost through her, unblinking in his intensity. As much as she tried to stop it, a delicious heat was rising in her cheeks.
Yep, she definitely had no idea how to deal with this Alec. This Alec was dangerous.
Her body violently contracted again, and she tightly shut her eyes, relieved to have a reason to break contact from his unnerving gaze. She heard him kneel down, and then felt as his hesitant fingers grabbed hers, his thumb softly stroking the back of her hand. Any other time, she would have quickly jerked her hand away, but right now, she found the contact comforting.
Max was abruptly reminded of the day when she had to perform the crude, makeshift operation on Bullet in that ramshackle of a garage. Alec had helped her then, and for a brief moment, he had been soothing and supportive to the injured X-6. She had been shocked, but had quickly brushed it aside and forgotten about it. But now, with him acting like this… well, maybe there was more to Alec than the smart-ass persona he put off.
"I'll be right back, okay? I'm just going to run into the kitchen and get you that milk I promised." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and was off, taking the lantern with him. She closed her eyes and unconsciously held her breath as another wave struck her. After an aching minute, it subsided and she exhaled. She couldn't find the energy to open her eyelids again, so she decided to keep them shut. She wondered if Alec was having any luck finding the milk.
Alec.
She wanted to stop thinking about him, wanted to stop being around him, because he was starting to have strange effects on her. If she wasn't careful, she may actually start to like and respect him. And that would just be horrible.
'Well, why would it?' a traitorous voice nagged in her brain. She suppressed a yawn and decided to ignore her own question, because quite truthfully, she didn't have a response for it. She blamed her inability to find a reasonable answer on being drained from the seizures and snuggled deeper under the blanket.
"I still don't like you, Alec. Not one bit," she whispered aloud, but her voice was unsure, almost childlike, as if she were trying to desperately to convince herself of that fact. Thankfully, she couldn't dwell on it much longer because, she succumbed to a restless slumber.
****
Alec walked down the hall back from the kitchen. He hadn't found any milk, so he was going to have to break into the main house to see if he could sneak some out of there and bring it -
Just what in the hell are you doing here?
That damn inner voice was back, and the thought made him stop dead in his tracks. Here you are, out in Bumfuck, Wyoming helping Max track down a mutt you couldn't give two shits about. You are an idiot! You're willingly putting yourself in danger by getting in White's radar - again- and now you're playing nursemaid, for the second night in a row! Not only that, but you're doing it for a chick who absolutely hates your guts! So what if she's hot! Put your dick in check and think for yourself!
That inner voice was right. He was a fucking idiot, and he shouldn't be here; it was too much trouble. She was too much trouble, and Alec was a guy who liked to stay out of said trouble. So, he was just going to have to tell her that he was leaving tomorrow morning. He figured he'd pretty much fulfilled his debt to her with last night and tonight. She'd saved his life, now he had saved hers. Over. Done. Finite. If she had a problem with it, oh well. Have a nice trip. See ya in Seattle.
However, when he'd stepped back into the room and saw her lying on the bed, something punched him in the solar plexus. It was a feeling that went beyond mere lust, and it left him staggering for breath. He crept silently toward the bed careful not to wake her.
Her hair was splayed out on the pillow, and the flame from the lantern highlighted her face in the most flattering way. She looked like a fallen angel, so helpless and vulnerable as seizures continued to torment her sleeping body.
"I still don't like you, Alec. Not one bit…." He started, shocked not only at her words, but because the fact that she was awake. He began to formulate a flippant answer to her, but slowly realized she hadn't been talking to him. In fact, she didn't even know he was back in the room; she had been talking to herself. He watched as her breathing evened in a telltale sign of sleep.
An unrecognizable feeling gripped him as he processed her words. Not because he believed them; in fact, it was quite the opposite. Uncertainty had filled Max's voice, and it seemed almost like she was trying to convince herself of her dislike for him. He smiled in spite of himself
That made him feel…well, he didn't know exactly what it was he felt.
Part of him was pleased. It was nice to know that he wasn't the only one affected here. But there was something else that he couldn't name, something strong and almost suffocating in its force.
His hands reached down of their own accord, and the back of his knuckles rubbed lightly against the soft skin of her cheek. Then, he moved to stroke her silky hair, relishing as the satin strands slid easily through his fingers.
Alec had never before wanted to take care of anyone else. It was always himself first, middle and last. After all, he was the only one he could count on. If there was a mistake made, better he be the one to make it. And that way, there was no one who could let him down, no one he could mistakenly place faith in just to be disappointed by later. Manticore had drilled self-reliance into him, and that was one of the few traits he agreed with. He'd taken it to a new level, in fact, and decided to be his own man within the walls of the facility. He didn't want anyone - Manticore or otherwise - dictating his life. So, he'd made the best of a bad situation there, and aligned himself properly with the right personnel, and as a result was always able to manipulate a situation to his favor. He never cared for any of that 'team' shit. His credo had worked, and military life was more tolerable because of it.
Since he'd been out, he'd tried in earnest to live by that same standard. He'd look out for number one, and to hell with who got stepped on in the process. He'd been pretty successful, too.
Oh, he'd convinced himself that the only reason he'd saved Max's ass the first time was because she had burned Manticore to the ground, thus letting him free. He really did respect her for that, though it'd be a cold day in hell before he'd admit it to her. So, he'd done her a favor by getting her out of a hell of a situation when she had foolishly turned herself over to White for the X6's. (He still thought she was a fucking idiot for that whole fiasco.)
Then, he'd told himself the reason that he couldn't kill her when his own head was going to explode was because he didn't want to be what Manticore had made him to be - a killer. And because he in no way wanted to be compared to 493, and that's exactly what would have happened. Sure, no one else would look at him and know that he'd had a twin who'd been a psychotic murderer, but he would never have been able to live with the knowledge that he'd remotely anything in common with 493 beside looks - and to be honest, that was bad enough.
Just thinking about it made him want to shudder.
Either way, though, helping her had always been really in his best interests.
Until this damn trip.
Here he was with Max's hair tangled in his fingers, and he was only concerned with what was best for her. No matter how he tried, he couldn't reason himself around that.
It scared him to death.
He dragged his hands out of her hair, but couldn't stop from touching her completely. He brought his fingerstips down her cheeks again with light, feathery touches, before moving to her further down. His thumb found its way to stroke along her full lower lip, and Alec nearly groaned aloud as the softness of it teased his skin. She was driving him crazy by simply lying there, and he had no idea how to stop this madness.
Or if he even wanted to.
"What the hell are you doing to me, Max?" he murmured, his puzzlement making his voice crack slightly. With more effort than it should've taken, he tore his fingers away and stuffed both hands deep into his pockets, not trusting himself to not touch her again. Then he inhaled in silent frustration and turned to leave.
He still had to break into the main house. Her seizures weren't over, and he knew that they would just get worse if he didn't take care of it soon. So he set off to find the milk for her, and ignored the small voice in his head saying that he was making a mistake; that he was damn fool who was getting way too involved in her life.
Because subconsciously, he already knew that he'd been way too involved from the first moment he'd laid eyes on 452.