The Abuse will begin subtly. Things an Abuser will do in the early stages of a relationship may even seem flattering, but they are red flags. Anytime a man seems "too good to be true" he probably is. It may seem flattering to suddenly get a whole lot of attention from someone, but he may be pouring on the attention because he has a deep need to get you hooked as quickly as possible. 

Abusers usually suffer from intense feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, and this causes them to move in on women quickly and forcefully. People with serious insecurities are fearful of losing control of their environment. Abusers are fearful, insecure men and they need to control you to feel safe. 

Look at the Red Flags list. If your new love interest displays these symptoms---don't walk, RUN. Emotional Abuse usually escalates to Physical Abuse, and that often leads to murder.
 
 
 

Back to the Main Page

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

• Makes fun of you in public saying he's only "joking"

• Insist on being exclusive early on

• Insist on coming inside when you already said no

• Insist on knowing your darkest secrets right away

• Spilling his guts to you right away

• Plays the "wounded puppy" card. (i.e. "All my ex's were evil! And I'm so scared to get hurt again.")

• Says no one has ever "understood" him as well as you

• Calls an ex-girlfriend "crazy" or "a bitch"

• Says he hasn't been with a woman in a long time and you are the first he has been interested in

• Comes over when you say you're busy
• Calling repeatedly 

• Expresses jealousy early on

• Asks many questions about your sexual history

• Invades your privacy: going through your purse/drawers

• Checks your caller id/asnwering machine

• Demands knowing where you are if you say no to a date

• he likes you because you seem "feisty"

• Interrupts you often

• Seems too eager to please

• Tickles/wrestles when you keep telling him to stop

• Doesn't talk much about his family or his past

• Doesn't talk about himself much. Wants to hear about you constantly

• Still lives with his mother at an inappropriate age and she seems controlling

• Wants sex or other affection way too early
• Gives your friends 3rd degree each time he sees them

• Doesn't care if you're too tired to go out/talk/have sex
• Laughs at things not appropriate to laugh about

• Changes moods easily

• Doesn't let you hang around his friends much, if at all (because he may need to tell them how 'crazy' you are later)

• Paranoid you're going out with someone else

• His family is a total circus (i.e. Mom has been divorced four times. Dad abandoned him. Mom controls him. Dad is an alcoholic. Dad used to hit mom.)