Your boyfriend/husband may be abusing you by neglecting and distancing himself. Here are signs that you are being psychologically abused in this subtle way:
1) He is not there for you when you are sick, tired or in need of his help or if you need a favor. You tell him you need him and it hurts that he isn't there, but he keeps on doing it.
2) He moans or complains when you cry, need to talk or just want to have normal conversation. In spite of your complaints, his behavior doesn't change.
3) He fails to do things like call you when he says he will. You voice that this hurts your feelings but he keeps doing it.
4) He stands you up, often making other things in his life more important than you in spite of your complaints that he doesn't spend much time with you in comparison to his other activities. No matter how much you complain, he still puts you at the bottom of his list.
5) He frequently lets you down. Is late for dates or forgets important anniversaries or birthdays.
6) He doesn't celebrate with you when you have a success and he doesn't seem interested when you talk about your dreams.
7) The conversations with him are almost ALWAYS about HIM. He complains about his life but does he listen to you? Never.
8) You are constantly trying to discover ways to get his attention.
9) He frequently ignores you if you're upset or refuses to have a conversation because he says he doesnt' like "confrontation."
10) He always puts others and other things before you----always.
11) He gives you just enough love and attention to keep you around but not quite enough.
12) He never does anything special for you and he never says thank you or shows his appreciation that you did something for him.
13) If he is upset or hurt about something or scared, he withdrawals instead of sharing his emotions with you.
14) He doesn't share his success with you. He doesn't share his dreams. He'd rather watch the ballgame.
15) He frequently lets you cry and doesn't even respond.
16) He lies to you.
17) He does things he knows will hurt you. (Like not calling for four or five days)
18) He won't commit to calling you his girlfriend. He won't say he loves you and if he does, you'll be lucky to hear it again.
19) He doesn't introduce you to his friends/family even though you've been going out a significant amount of time.
20) He never says he's sorry or takes responsibility for anything stupid that he does to you.
If you are being psychologically abused
You may feel....
At a loss as to how to get his attention. He pays so much attention to everything else in his life, but not you.
Like minimizing the things he does saying, "Oh, it isn't that big of a deal" when inside you really feel terribly hurt.
Exhausted trying to be good to him when you get so little in return.
Depressed and unloved.
Unattractive, undesirable.
Empty.
Fragile/hypersensitive
On the edge of your seat wating to see wether he'll do what he promised "this time"
Nervous/on edge
You have a funny gut feeling that something just isn't right in the relationship but can't put your finger on it
My Advice.....
You need to drop this relationship. It may take you years to overcome the damage this guy did to your self esteem. I know it's hard to think of neglect as abuse but it is. When someone dismisses and neglects you and your feelings and is selfish and self involved to the point of making you feel unloved, unappreciated and invisible then that, my friend, is abuse.
Get out. Get out. Get out. And find ways to heal. Keep a journal. Read some books about emotional abuse. But don't stay in this relationship and don't minimize the things he does.