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"He's been whining for twenty-four hours straight now," Buffy growled from
the chair, her foot jiggling in annoyance, whiskey bottle firmly held in her
hand, her face flushed from the consumption of the whiskey. All the girls,
including a very reluctant Anya, had stayed after the cursing and now they
were drowning their sorrows and hopefully the sound of Spike's whines with
the help of Giles alcohol. "If he doesn't shut up I'm going to stake him."
"Well it was your idea," stated Willow, crawling across the floor and
picking up Anya's huge shoulder bag.
"Angel is souled, Angel is fighting the forces of evil. That's all I wanted
~ for him to help out and kill a few baddies. Is that really too much to
ask?"
"First of all he isn't Angel, he is a totally different individual. Just
because you give a vampire back their soul doesn't mean they will all end up
the same," Willow scowled at her friend, this was about the hundredth time
they'd had this discussion and still Buffy seem to refuse to listen to it.
"Secondly, you are expecting him to kill his friends ~ which is just plain
wrong. He's helped out before, but you can't expect him to kill his
friends."
"Friends? Hello, they are still evil..."
"I hate my life," the muffled cry came from the bathroom causing Buffy to
roll her eyes and groan.
"I still don't know why I can't get my handcuffs back ~ you've ruined my
plans!" hissed Anya, joining Willow on the floor and taking the bag from her
hands.
"That's it!" Buffy hissed as another despair filled wail came from the
bathroom, she pushed herself off the chair and grabbed the phone.
"What are you doing?" Willow asked as she dialled a number. Buffy turned
about and gave her a look of expectancy as she listened to the phone ring.
"Hi Angel...we've got a problem how long will it take for you to get here?"
"Angel?" Willow and Anya whispered to each other. Willow shook her head and
looked at the huge black shoulder bag.
"I'm going to regret this, but what have you got in there?" Willow asked,
curious as to what it held since it had produced the handcuffs. Anya leaned
back against the couch and giggled, her hand covering her mouth.
"Do you really want to know?" she asked. Willow nodded and Buffy went back
to her chair, taking a swig of whiskey. Grinning she turned the bag upside
down and shook it, the contents spilling forth and sprawling across the
floor.
"Oh my god," exclaimed Buffy as her eyes fell on various toys and bit and
pieces that she had no understanding of. "What did you do? Hold up a sex
shop?"
"No, I went shopping," Anya slurred slightly, grabbing the closest item,
which happen to be a bottle of chocolate body paint. "Xander and I have
been...well, you see he seems to be..."
She blushed furiously and Buffy and Willow stared at her.
"Having problems getting it up?" Buffy asked her face screwing up in disgust
as her alcohol laden mind put forth a number of images of her friend.
"You mean he's impotent?" Willow gasped, frowning at the heavy leather bound
cock ring and testicle bag she held. Suddenly she realised what it was and
threw it down. "Ew, please tell me you haven't tried any of these things out
on him yet?"
"I wish! Unfortunately someone appealed to my baser instinct of vengeance
and now I'm stuck here," Anya shrugged and looked forlornly at the toys,
clothes and bits that lay scattered on the floor. "And no, he's not
impotent, he just seems to be losing interest. I thought these might help."
"Okay, Xander losing interest?" Buffy frowned at Anya and set down the
bottle so she could crawl across the floor to sit next to her. "I really
don't think so. What makes you say that?"
"Well, we use to have sex all the time," Anya frowned and looked at the two
girls, her eyes growing glassy. "But lately, we've only had sex about four
times a day. I'm worried that he's losing interest."
"Four times? Now I really do hate my life," Spike yelled from the bathroom.
"Oh shut up Spike," Willow and Buffy yelled in union. Willow shifted closer
to Anya, smiling and patting her hand.
"That's a lot Anya, he's not losing interest, he's probably just...well..."
Willow struggled to find the words to explain.
"You're killing him with sex! The guys probably exhausted," Spike's voice
drifted down the hallway. An after thought was added. "I really hate my
life."
"Well, as much as I hate to admit it, Spike's right. Four times is above
normal ~ I mean I've never ever done it four times in one day," Buffy
offered. The ex-demon frowned at her.
"Yeah but you've really only had one night stands," she stated. "So that's
nothing to go on."
[Uh oh, bad Anya.] thought Willow. "Honestly they are right. Maybe he's
just tired. If he was losing interest then you'd know."
"But four times a day? That's hardly...satisfying," she paused to reflect
for a moment and then her eyes widened in sheer delight, a wicked grin
gracing her lips. "Oh my gosh, I'm a nymphomaniac! It's such a relief.
Xander still loves me, we just have different sex drives. It's probably a
good thing that I bought this as well."
Anya reached out and picked up something that had rolled under the coffee
table and held it up for the other girls to see. It was a huge life-like
dildo with balls and everything.
"Oh god, Anya! Are you actually going to...use that?" asked Buffy somewhat
shocked by the attitude of the girl in front of her.
"That's...big," Willow just felt she had to say something.
"What? What is it? What did she buy?" Spike called from the bathroom.
Everyone ignored him.
"What do you mean? I already have," she smiled at Buffy and then frowned.
"They let you try everything out at the shop, just to make sure it's
suitable."
"You are just mind boggling at times, Anya," said Willow shaking her head
lightly, thinking she should draw Anya's attention away from the dildo
before she offered to give them a demonstration. "What else did you get."
"Oh, you know, the usual," Anya spoke quietly putting the dildo back in her
bag. Both the girls shook their heads. "What are you telling me you've
never been in a sex shop? Never bought things?" Again they shook their
heads and Anya looked at them like their faces had suddenly sprouted bright
purple spots. "Well that's just weird. Okay, let's see. I bought a butt
plug, that's this and you..."
For the next hour Anya had a totally attentive audience as she worked her
way though her various purchases and explained their functions to the girls.
Only once did Buffy embarrass herself by asking why the bead necklace didn't
have clasps, turning bright red when Anya told her that they were love beads
and how they were used.
"Very pleasurable, and the guys get off on it too, especially if you use
them on him," Anya smiled as the Slayer dropped the elaborate string of
beads and turned her attention to the various clothes. She picked up a
leather cat suit. "I don't know why I got this, it doesn't really suit me."
"Why not?" asked Willow. Anya shrugged.
"I don't know it just looks kind of off. I guess my legs aren't long enough
or something." Anya sighed and looked at the leather outfit as Buffy stood
up and held it against herself. She looked back at Willow. "Why don't you
try it on, you're relatively tall and skinny, I think it would look good on
you."
"Can I try it on?" asked Buffy, fingering the soft shiny leather. Anya
shrugged and nodded. Buffy grinned and started toward the bathroom. "Oh,
bad ass sooky vampire...where can I get changed?"
"Just get changed here," Anya said, working through the other clothes that
were still scattered about. Pausing she looked up at the two girls. "What?
We've all seen it before."
Buffy shrugged and stripped off before shimmying into the leather outfit.
Well trying to, it didn't really agree with her.
"I don't believe this," she hissed trying to get it on. "Why won't it fit?"
"Undo the side zip," Willow suggested, giggling with Anya at the twisted and
painful look of the slayers face. Finally she managed to get it on. Her
cleavage spilled over the top of the tight leather, her nipples barely
hidden.
"No, it doesn't suit you," Anya ran a critical eye over the slayer. For
starters the bodice was too tight for her breasts, the trousers were far too
long and she just looked ridiculous. She turned to Willow. "Your turn."
Willow hesitated for a moment before standing up and shedding her clothes.
"Leather isn't really me."
Some ten minutes later she found herself encased in the tight leather with
Buffy struggling to undo the zip.
"Just stand still. If you keep wriggling about I won't be able to..." Buffy
was trying to pull the zip down when the head of it snapped off in her hand.
"Whoops."
"Whoops?" exclaimed Willow, eyeing the little piece of metal that Buffy now
held. Her eyes widened in horror and she pulled at the leather trying to
get the zip to undo, unfortunately it remained firmly locked shut. "No,
please tell me this isn't happening."
"Oh don't worry about it," Buffy said off-handily and flopping back down on
the carpet. "We can cut you out of it later."
"So I'm just meant to wander about in a leather cat suit?" Willow hissed,
walking about in circles tyring to get the zipper undone.
"Yes, we've been drinking - do you really want us to try and cut you out of
it now?" Anya asked. Willow frowned, that was a really valid point.
"I'm sober, I can do it," offered Spike from the bathroom. The girls
ignored him. Frowning Buffy crawled over to Giles bookcase and took out a
bunch of cassettes.
"Look at this, Giles has self help cassettes," Buffy exclaimed before
getting an attack of the giggles and collapsing on the floor. "Can you just
see it, Mr Tweed sitting down and chanting whatever the hell is on these
things to make him feel better? 'Oh I'm frightfully British and too stuffy
to be emotional so I'll listen to self help cassettes'."
"That's actually a pretty sad reflection on his life," Willow said, making
Buffy stop and frown.
"Yeah I guess it is..." suddenly Buffy was struck by an idea, grabbing the
walkman off the bookcase, she got to her feet and staggered down to the
bathroom. Pushing open the door she practically fell in, kneeling before a
rather shocked looking Spike still sitting in the bathtub. "Hallo Mr Grumble
bum, here put these on and listen carefully."
Without giving him a chance she shoved the earphones on his head and pressed
play. Grinning like an idiot she picked up his empty mug and left him to the
torture of American Self-Help tapes.
"No more feeding the baby every hour," she announced happily, carelessly
tossing the mug aside and pausing to look at the two girls sitting on the
floor, well Willow was sitting, Anya had passed out. "Okay, Anya is
sleeping?"
"Yes, she has surrendered to the sweet induced sleep of alcohol..." Willow
stared at Buffy for a while, squinting at her. "But she still wants her
handcuffs back...are you swaying Buffy?"
"No, I'm not...the room is..." Buffy staggered about in a rough circle
before collapsing on the couch and covering her eyes with her hand. "I
think..."
"Buffy?" Willow asked, she was answered by a deep satisfied sigh and a light
snort. "Buffy sleeping?"
Willow looked about the suddenly very quiet room. "Damn."
Pushing herself off the floor she picked up Spike's empty mug and the few
abandoned bottles of alcohol and headed out to the kitchen, happily
whistling the theme to the Flintstones while she cleaned up and tidied the
mess they had created over the last few days. That done, she wandered back
into the lounge room and glanced at the still sleeping girls.
"Wakey, wakey...hello? Vamp suicide watch going on because of you two..."
Willow gently shook them, but it was hopeless. "Great, leave me on my
own..."
Her thoughts were interrupted as Spike's voice wrapped around her in a
hypnotic veil of misery and despair.
"I've been contemplating suicide, but it really doesn't suit my style, so I
think I'll just act bored instead and contain the blood I would have shed,"
Willow pouted and could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes, slowly
she made her way down the hallway, pausing in the open doorway to look at
the blonde restrained vampire. He was bopping away, his eyes closed, his
face reflecting the misery of the song he was singing. "He makes me feel so
ill at ease, my heart is really on it's knees, but hey I'm dead so that
don't matter."
Willow frowned for a moment as a smirk crossed his lips at his own joke
before his face fell back into the previous mask of misery.
"But I keep the poker face so well that even my mother couldn't tell. But my
sire is so vain he is almost a mirror and the sound of his name sends a
nervous shiver down my spine, down my spine," again the smile crept back
onto his face as he continued to hum the song. Willow crossed her arms and
eyed him suspiciously. For the past twenty-four hours he had done nothing
but wail and whine, they had finally started giving him blood every hour on
the hour to shut him up...and now he was singing, but hey apparently it was
about his sire, still Willow thought it was a bit odd. Suddenly his voice
screamed out as he sang. "There is no room for cheap regrets. He makes me
feel so ill at ease, my heart is really on it's knees, but I keep the poker
face so well that even my mother couldn't tell. But my sire is so vain he is
almost a mirror and the sound of his name sends a nervous shiver down my
spine, down my spine. Oh yeah, down my spine-eee-iny-ine."
He sang out with enthusiasm, his head and shoulders bopping along with the
tune. Suddenly he stopped, opened an eye and saw Willow standing in the
doorway.
"Holy fucking shit," he hissed, suddenly very relieved he wasn't standing
up. She was like a goddess, a very leather clad goddess. The shiny cat
suit clung to her soft, subtle curves, the low cut bodice giving him a
wicked view of her pert breasts, the shoulder straps drew attention to her
naked arms and long expanse of neck. Red hair framed a slightly flushed
face, which accentuated the green of her eyes, and the light from the
hallway gave her a soft glow. "Am I dreaming?"
"No," she spoke softly, walking towards the bathtub, the leather clinging to
her every movement. Leaning forward she pulled the headphones away and
bought one up to listen. So much for self-help tapes, he was listening to a
local radio station, shaking her head she removed the walkman and smiled at
him. Taking a deep breath she tossed the walkman aside, sat down on the
edge of the tub and ran her fingers through his slightly messed up hair.
"How are you feeling Spike?"
He didn't have the chance to say anything because there was a loud and
repetitive knock at the front door. Twisting about on the edge of the tub
she looked toward the bathroom door and sighed. "Angel."
"Oh bloody hell, I hate my life," moaned Spike resting his head against her
leather clad back and inhaling the sweet combination of leather and Willow.
Sighing she got up and headed out of the bathroom. "Please, don't leave
me."
He begged, he'd actually begged ~ but wouldn't you with a leather clad
goddess walking away from you? Giving her what he hoped was his best puppy
dog face he was more than certain that he'd get her to stay when Angel
knocked again, this time calling out Buffy's name. Mouthing 'sorry' Willow
turned and left him.
"Fuck it all to hell," he spat a scowl darkening his face.
Willow rushed over to the door, a quick glance about the room showed that
Angel hadn't woken either girl. She flung open the door and plastered a
huge welcome grin on her face.
"Hello Angel," she giggled at him. He stared at her for a moment, taking in
her leather clad body, before looking over her shoulder and seeing Buffy and
Anya lying in the lounge room. Eyes widening in horror he launched himself
at her, tackling her to the ground and pinning her down.
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