One Little Kiss

By AF

WARNING: CONTAINS YAOI, BAD LANGUAGE & STUPID AGNSTY BULLSHIT. *EVIL SMILE* YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

DISCLAIMER: THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME. ALL OF THEM! D’YA HERE ME SQUARE! SUE ME IF YOU WILL, YOU’LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST! (FADING) WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAaaaaaa

Notes/Summary: This was initially something I wrote for Kira celebrating her excellent choice and being the 1000^th visitor to my site. When asked on her favorite couple, she answered something along the lines of my perverting her into liking the Reno/Reeve coupling I have going in my Monsters Trilogy among a few others. So here is her ficcy, with two of her new found favs in it. Note; this is not part of the Monsters Trilogy. This is a stand alone. Read and Enjoy Kira!

A basketball game in the rain turns out to be the starting point of something that will ultimately scare the shit out of the usually unshakable Reno. Reno gets jealous. Told from Reno’s POV.

I won’t fuck this up. Not for anything. I can do this.

At least that’s what I had told myself at the time. All I had to do was put it into practice. And why couldn’t I? I was hot shit, there was nothing I couldn’t handle right? I’d fought terrorists, rebels, soldiers, troopers, police, and mercenaries, hell even Turks. But for some reason there was only one real thing that had managed to strike fear into my heart. My feelings for another man.

It wasn’t that I was attracted to another man. Shit, I can’t remember the first time I’d gotten over that particular realization. Let’s just say that I was foolish, young, he had spare food going and that it was most likely illegal. No, the reason it made my insides go cold and hot at the same time was the fact that this wasn’t some calm casual attraction. I just didn’t want to fuck him. I wanted to /be/ with him. I honestly didn’t think I had it in me. And in some ways, I wish I didn’t. I’ve never suffered from stuttering in a person’s presence unless they were holding a gun. I’ve never started sweating unnecessarily unless something close to me was on fire. But I began having these wholly uncomfortable feelings around him soon after I realized that I really did like him.

It was foolish really. A silly little game of basketball. One on one after the others had decided to call it a day. It was pissing down rain and us stupid bastards had decided to stay out in it. Both yelling like idiots, cold rain dripping off our bodies, I went to foul him and ended up sprawled on the hard pavement…Well, mebbe I should just tell you the whole story huh?

“Rufus!”

Rufus looked over from where he was near center court, a brief look just to see if I was open then deftly threw me the ball. Pivoting, I swung ‘round and away from the man mountain that was covering me, and caught the ball. I was too quick for Rude and he knew it. A short dribble into the key and a shot at the goal. It went in. Of course. One thing everyone should learn before placing bets on a friendly game of basketball, Rufus and I never lose. Both quicker, more agile and we play dirty. I honestly don’t know why Tseng and Rude bother playing us anymore. Tseng said as much standing beside Rufus further up the court, arms crossed.

“You just can’t pass up the opportunity to see me in my shorts.” I replied.

Oh, did I mention I was a smart ass?

Tseng snorted and started striding toward where everyone had left their gear.

“You’re quitting?”

Rude and Rufus were also heading toward their assorted clothes and water bottles.

“We won.” Rufus told me simply. “Fifteen to eight.”

I fell into step beside him just as the first few fat raindrops began to hit the cracking tar beneath our feet. Huge dark clouds had rolled over since we’d began to play, they now sat overhead blocking out the last of the evening light giving the whole place a rather gloomy look.

“I hadn’t noticed.” The comment earned me a dirty look from Tseng and a grumbled something off Rude.

Rufus grinned at me sharing the joke, but wisely kept his own input to himself. “What happened to Cassian and Reeve?” He asked instead.

“Dunno.” I answered, my own grin turning into a frown a little too quickly, “Told ‘em when and where. Cas always gets hooked up at work, but I would’ve thought Reeve’d show.”

“Probably realized there was no use in coming.” Tseng commented, still no less sour from the defeat. “Smart man.”

“Who’s a smart man?”

He’d snuck up on us so quietly, I think he even startled Tseng a little. Definitely not the way an executive should move. We all turned to face him but it was me that was looking the stunned guppy, not Tseng. At the time I didn’t realize why. This was Reeve. How he always looked. Though sans suit and wearing shorts, sneakers and a tee. But I couldn’t help the feeling that something was different about him. If I could borrow and cheesy and heavily abused cliché, I’d say he was glowing. Normal Reeve, didn’t glow. Normal Reeve looked eternally tired, worn out and somewhat worried. This Reeve stood straight backed, cheeks flushed, well rested and happy. Apparently though, I was the only one that noticed it.

“You are apparently.” Rufus answered turning and throwing an arm around me. “Tseng’s sick of us mopping the floor with him.”

For some unaccountable reason I felt uncomfortable with Rufus’ arm there. Another first. Rufus was just being companionable, boasting about our win. Besides I’ve had more than Rufus’ arm draped over me before and I can hardly say I’ve minded in the least. But all it did now was bug me.

“What the hell happened to you?” Was my own warm welcome.

He shrugged, flushed a little and answered; “Got caught up.”

He actually flushed. While this wasn’t wholly uncommon reaction around me and my charming mouth, I had hardly said anything to cause the reaction this time.

“Yeah, well, you missed the game.” Rufus continued removing his arm from my shoulders and picking up his stuff.

“Oh, sorry guys.” He apologized quickly.

“No problem.” Rufus assured. “Cas didn’t turn up either. Still,” Insert Rufus’ patented evil smirk here, “If the teams were uneven perhaps Tseng and Rude might’ve stood a chance.”

From the looks he scored, he’s lucky he’s our boss, that’s all I’m saying.

The rain began falling a little more heavily.

The others were preparing to leave, but I hung back for some reason. Okay, I’ll be honest. I was staring at Reeve and his newfound glow. I figured if he kept it up, Shinra were likely to plug him in and use him to power a sector of the slums rather than one of the reactors. There must have been a reason he was looking so chipper and I was intensely curious as to why.

Reeve stood by for a while, silently watching the others grab their gear, before he finally noticed me staring at him like I could somehow read the answer off his face if I stared long enough. He gave me a slightly confused look and inclined his head slightly in question. He didn’t really need to voice it out loud. He and Rufus were probably the only two outside the Turks that I was close to. I could read more in a look than words half the time with all my buddies. However, that was perhaps the first time I consciously realized I could do it with Reeve.

“Mind a bit of rain?” I blurted. I really hadn’t meant to stay here too long. I had work later tonight. All night. This afternoon would probably be the only chance of sleep for me for a good twelve hours or so. I could run off little sleep usually but you tried to avoid it when yawning might mean your head becoming a very interesting splatter pattern on the wall behind you. I’m a curious guy at the best of times. Tseng even drew his gun on me one day because I wanted to find out why he limped into work one day. Something about bodyguard duty for Scarlet. But that’s another story. Suffice to say, he wasn’t limping because of an attempt on Scarlet’s life but an attempt of running out of terror with his pants around his ankles. Another story, and definitely not what I was getting at.

Reeve was being all happy glowing guy and I wanted to know why. I got the truth out of Tseng that time, I’d get it out of Reeve. Reeve doesn’t even carry a gun.

Tseng was giving me a look that was supposed to remind me about sleep and the job, but I pretended I didn’t see it. Reeve lifted his head a moment to take in the dark clouds above and shook his head.

“Water won’t kill me. I’m game.”

“You’re insane.” Tseng added heading the procession toward the gates at the far end of the court. “And not because of the rain.”

It could have been meant to either of us, but again I ignored it and grinned ferally at Reeve. Reeve just chuckled and shook his head. “Tell me about it.”

We took the court as the rain began a steady drizzle.

I dribbled the ball up to center court and turned to face Reeve. Despite his position as a desk jockey, Reeve wasn’t exactly unfit. He could keep up with the game usually without any hassles and managed to give most of us a fair run for our money in one on one. He wasn’t as good as me of course. But hey, who is?

Reeve is kind of annoyingly tall though. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no shortass. Not really. But here’s the thing. I’m about five foot ten. Reeve is almost as tall as Rude’s six foot one. Only difference is that Reeve isn’t as bulky as Rude and can therefore move a little quicker. But he’s also a tad bigger than me and is an asshole in defense while I am more of an offense. As if you wouldn’t have picked that of me anyway.

Like I said, he’s not as good as me. Mainly because I’m still quicker and he isn’t good on offense while I can still be an annoying little prick on defense. So I’m told anyway. I can keep up with anyone and stick to them like glue. Rufus once told me that once when I was shadowing him, he couldn’t tell if I was trying to get the ball or trying to feel him up. Both could have been true, but only subconsciously. He shouldn’t have said it really. It gave me ideas.

Right. Story. Sorry.

Anyway, I spent the fifteen minutes of the game getting into playing and holding my own against Reeve. He was playing awfully good today. He really must have been in a good mood. It made my curiosity grow but also made me have to pay more attention to what I was doing. Finally I managed to draw ahead by a few points, enough to relax a little. His ball, center court. I was on defense.

And before you ask, I was keeping my hands to myself. I made doubly sure of that remembering Rufus’ comment. Rufus could take it lightly. But I wasn’t sure if Reeve would get uncomfortable, intended feeling up or not.

“So what’s up with you today man? You look like you’ve been spending too much time out in the sun or somethin’.”

I’m also a tactless bastard.

The question had an interesting effect. Reeve almost lost the ball and shot me a surprised look. “Is it really that obvious?”

Something was obvious at least. Just not very specific. I told him as much.

Reeve grinned and shook his head to get the water out of his eyes and he tried to spot a way around my defenses. “I met someone.”

This time it was me that fumbled. Enough to let him get around me and take a shot at basket. It went it. Reeve was also an annoyingly good shot. I opened and closed my mouth a few times dumbly trying to cover up the fumble but nothing really came up. It’s hard to make up some spur of the moment bullshit when you don’t even know what the non bullshit version would have been. I figured it was because it was almost the last thing I thought he’d say. Reeve met someone? Reeve didn’t meet people socially. As far as I knew his life outside his work was basically non-existent. Reeve didn’t /have/ a life that I was aware of. At least not one that didn’t involve his friends. Me being one of them. So when exactly did Reeve meet this someone? At work? I vaguely wondered if his ‘glow’ was merely for meeting this someone. So instead of lying, I asked another question.

“So you fuck ‘em?”

Yes, subtle. Indelicate, Thy name is Reno.

Reeve almost tripped over his own feet before he managed to throw the ball to me to continue the game. His cheeks colored immensely.

“What?” He asked in a tone I bet he hoped was offended. It wasn’t. I think he was too busy trying to keep his facial expressions under control as to not give himself away. Again he failed miserably. He’d fucked ‘em.

It was strange what happened to me then. There is no clear way to really explain it. A cold feeling would be most apt. I felt a little cold. Nothing to do with the rain that was now falling in heavy fat drops now. Constant downpour that had long ago soaked us utterly. In the distance the sky rumbled.

“You did.” I answered myself. Again cold.

Reeve gave me a look that seemed to have no place on his face. He looked a little angry at my butting in.

“C’mon man,” I tried to soothe, still not quite feeling all that soothed myself, “I’m your friend. Who’s the unlucky girl?”

Reeve seemed to take my point and forgive my big mouth. Always so forgiving. And way to used to me and my usual tactless self.

“From work actually. Try not to tell Rufus.”

“I won’t.” I assured quickly. “Does she have a name?”

Reeve stood a little ways off, water soaked clothes practically clinging to his body, rain dripping off his brow, arms crossed with a serious look on his face. “Yes. /He/ does. Peter Walker.”

Well…I almost bit my tongue. Literally. /He/? This was an interesting twist. Needless to say I hadn’t had the slightest inkling Reeve was interested in guys. To be honest, I guess I really hadn’t known anybody Reeve was interested in. Guy, girl or chocobo. Still, I would never have picked it. Sure he’s well dressed, organized, clean, tidy, compassionate, kindly, fit, all that. But I never took notice of clichés. Fuck, look at me. The only one I really adhere to is still a very loose description of it at that. And only then because otherwise Tseng’d hang my ass from the rafters if I didn’t keep up my fitness levels.

It was then that I really took in the name he had given. Peter Walker. Aw fuck. Peter fucking Walker. How in the hell did a guy like Reeve end up with Peter fucking Walker?

Perhaps I should explain my dislike for the guy.

Peter fucking Walker was a member of Soldier. Ex-member of Soldier really. He copped a nasty slice in the war against Wutai when a Wutaian warrior hamstrung him with his own sword. Thanks to materia and the late great Sephiroth all he really has to show for it is a slight limp. It was still enough however, to get discharged from Soldier and end up with a security job within the Shinra building. Executive floor actually.

Which explains how Reeve knows him. Anyway, to make a long story short. Peter fucking Walker has a way too high opinion of himself. He is in love with himself. Totally besotted. That also means he believes everybody else is as well.

Snide, obnoxious and incredibly egotistical.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have fucked him.

I really didn’t see my mistake till after. I knew he was a prick. But I went ahead and did it anyway. However, later, I came to my senses and told him in no uncertain terms; “never ever again”. Call me the bastard if you will. But I really didn’t think Peter fucking Walker would take my rejection to heart. I really wasn’t even sure he had a heart. He’d been known to be more sex-crazed than most men in the building combined. Surely Peter fucking Walker would have taken my words with little more than a nod and the finger. So put out was he that he started spreading rumors soon after that I’d raped him. And who else would know better? He sure as hell had the bruises to prove it. We weren’t exactly gentle to each other. It took the combined threat of my gun muzzle up his left nostril and the promise that if he didn’t take back what he said and cease the rumors, I’d take him down to the slums and introduce him to a few guys who wouldn’t stop just after a few mere bruises and scratches. Ten of them actually. All twice as big as he.

He swallowed his pride on that one and cleared up the rumors.

Anyway, that was one of the reasons. The other, in more plainer terms, was he had tried to fuck me over once too many times. And I was not above playing dirty. Not all of his scars and bruises that he got from me were sex related.

“You’re kidding me?” I asked not bothering to hide the distaste on my face.

Reeve looked a little angry at the look and I’m not sure I blamed him. I had no right to really have much of an opinion when it came to relationships and Reeve goddamn knew it. Take my screwing Peter fucking Walker for instance.

However, like before, I had totally misjudged. Or perhaps it was Reeve this time. He didn’t think my look was about Walker.

“You have a problem that the person is a guy?”

“What?” Asked the bisexual Turk in a slightly bemused tone.

He took it as denial.

Naturally.

“It’s none of your business anyway.” Reeve told me in a cold voice. I hadn’t even /known/ Reeve had a voice like that. I certainly had never heard it before. It would seem that I had really hit a nerve. Unintentionally and taken the wrong way, but I had sure pissed him off. “I don’t know why I told you.”

I shrugged and tried to appear nonchalant while privately trying to puzzle out how the hell Reeve might think I had a problem with him screwing guys. And here I had thought there wasn’t a dust mite in the Shinra Building that didn’t know of my own promiscuity and the ever ripe rumors that I’d fuck just about anyone. It wasn’t entirely true (I sure as hell drew the line at anything non-human e.g. Hojo) and perhaps Reeve had took it as so.

“Look Reeve,” I began calmly, “I don’t care about that stuff. You should know me better.”

I began to dribble the ball back up the court, half trying to distract myself, half trying to distract Reeve. Reeve sighed and raked his fingers through his hair attempting to brush some water loose. “I know. I’m sorry. I haven’t told many people about Peter and most I have haven’t taken it all that well. I can’t help being defensive.”

So it was ‘Peter’ was it. It was never just ‘Peter’ with me. It was always Peter ‘fucking’ Walker or just plain Walker. An asshole like that doesn’t deserve the closeness of even having someone say his first name in my book. Especially not the way Reeve said it. Too warmly and way too familiar for my tastes.

In hindsight, I really should’ve just kept my mouth shut at this point. Like I said this was Reeve’s business, not mine. If Reeve wanted to play naked leapfrog with the likes of Peter fucking Walker, then it really should have been his mistake to make. But the problem was that I knew the mistake would be made. I knew Reeve didn’t know what that man was truly like. And I’m a tactless bastard with the common sense of Scarlet on her second bottle of vodka.

I avoided Reeve easily and made a shot for basket. It should have been fate warning me when the shot didn’t go in. “Methinks it isn’t because Peter Walker is a guy. I think it’s because Peter Walker is a prick.”

At just like that, I felt what it was truly like to swallow your own foot. I thought Reeve’s face would go purple. I had begun it now, and I really should have seen it to the end. Explained at least one of the reasons why I disliked the man so intensely and hoped Reeve would believe me over his ‘Peter’. The problem was, I think I was secretly worried that he wouldn’t believe me. That he’d take Walkers word over my own. I didn’t know why at the time, but the thought actually had me more worried than the concept of Reeve falling in with such a idiot like him in the first place. So against everything, I kept my mouth shut when he asked me a simple why. In fact he had to ask me twice to even get a decent lie out of me.

“He just rubs me the wrong way.” It was metaphorically true. The mere sight of the guy made me want to go wash my hands.

That being a total lie in the physical anyway. Walker knew how to rub a man, but remembering that made me feel queasy. The literal sense wouldn’t have even occurred to me at all had I not had the suddenly disturbing mental image of him with the man standing in front of me.

Reeve didn’t look impressed. “You always judge people on first impressions Reno. Though’ I’ll admit you aren’t usually so off in your predictions. I /was/ actually looking forward to telling you about him.”

Ah, the ‘You’re my most trusted friend’ routine. I suspected it was meant to make me feel guilty over the whole sour face look at the mention of Walker’s name. I was surprised. Reeve didn’t usually stoop to such tactics. It made me doubly glad I had kept the real reasons for the immense hatred to myself.

“If you’re happy. I’m happy for you.” I said putting on my best fake bullshit smile. Hey, the sappy things usually worked in these kinds of situations didn’t they?

Luckily Reeve took it at face value. “Thank you.” He said sincerely taking the ball back up to the center line. Obviously he hadn’t noticed that my shot didn’t go in. I don’t think he noticed much going on around him by the look on his face. His anger had left him, and now he wore one of those looks that I knew meant he was thinking about his new catch. It was disturbing really. Silly grin and all. Though I suppose he had a right to look stupid whilst away in Peter fucking Walker world. Or should I say; fucking Peter Walker world. Both made me want to cringe.

“Are we playing or not?” I asked trying not to sound irritable.

“Oh, right,” Reeve stuttered focusing back on the game, “Just thinking.” He began to slowly dribble the ball. “I am you know. Happy that is. He’s really a great guy.”

It was hard retaining that bullshit smile and even harder to keep the sappy supportive sentiments coming. “That’s good to hear.” I swear I was getting an ulcer from this conversation alone.

Reeve turned his back on me as I closed the gap to defend him.

“He doesn’t like you though.”

Well, that pretty much stopped me dead.

Reeve didn’t seem to notice though. He’d stopped playing himself and had turned back to face me, a pensive look on his face.

It didn’t shock me that Walker didn’t like me. Actually I would have been far more shocked if he did like me. It was more the worry of what he might’ve told Reeve about me.

“He didn’t say exactly why.” Reeve continued as if reading my thoughts. “Just told him what I was doing today and he told me I should be wary. He’s probably just concerned about who you guys are. Being the Turks and everything. I explained that you and the others were friends and he let it drop.”

Was Walker worried that I’d tell on him? Most probably. Though I didn’t see why he should care. I must admit I would be mighty surprised if the relationship lasted longer than it took Petie to find a new fuck toy.

“He’s very understanding.”

Oh yeah, definitely an ulcer. I could feel my stomach doing loops already.

“That’s nice.” I had to force that one through my teeth. I must have looked ready to give birth or something with the strain it was taking to act pleasant and keep the nauseous feeling down to a minimum. At least enough for Reeve to comment on it.

“Are you okay Reno? You don’t look so good.”

Of course I didn’t look good. “I’m fine.” I felt like I was going to cramp a muscle from smiling. “Really.” And like my stomach was about to burst Alien style out of my body and scamper away. “Are we playing basketball or not?”

No matter how hard I was trying, I knew he could see the thinly masked irritation in my voice and written across my face. His smile dropped, and he turned back to the game with a thoughtful, but not amused look.

Pushing all sickness aside, I focused on the game. Easier to transmit your frustrations into a sport. Made you more energetic. More focused. And ready to draw blood. My aggressive tactics weren’t lost on Reeve either. I didn’t realize what a pain in the ass I must have been till four fouls later (all by me) induced him to spin around and confront me red-faced and breathing hard.

“Ease up. It’s just a game.”

Just a game. Fatal last words as far as I was concerned.

I can’t say when exactly my frustrations became more aimed at Reeve rather than the game. I supposed it just happened that way because it was only one on one. How wrong I was.

He went up for another shot. This time I fouled him with way more force than was necessary. We both ended up on the ground, though I’ll admit, he took the brunt of the impact being underneath me. He pushed me off straight away and I rolled over to sit back on my heels. I wanted to apologize but I didn’t. Tseng used to say that it was more likely that the President would start giving away free electricity to the poor than me apologize for something. And that didn’t even matter if it was justified or not. Problem was, I didn’t want to apologize.

Reeve remained on the ground, breathing hard, face tight with anger. The fact that he wasn’t getting up should have told me that this I’d managed to hurt him, but I forced the thought away from myself. I didn’t want sympathy tempering my anger.

“What the /fuck/ is your problem Reno?!”

Very good question. Very good. Problem was that I didn’t have a fucking clue myself. What was my problem? Sure I was angry with Walker for what he would do to Reeve in the long run, but why was Reeve taking the brunt of that anger? It was common knowledge that when angry, I took it out on anything and everything around me at the time. But I couldn’t say that this was the reason now. I was really angry. And part of that anger was directed at Reeve personally. And for the life of me I couldn’t work out why. Reeve hadn’t done anything.

“What can’t take playing rough?”

So I’m obnoxious too. You may have worked that one out for yourself by now.

With what seemed like supreme willpower, Reeve pushed himself up into a sitting position in front of me. And from the look on his face I would’ve thought he was about to hit me if he weren’t using both his hands to brace himself. I almost wished he would knock some fucking sense into me, cause I was doing a shitty job on my own.

“Since when were we playing rough?”

I almost expected to see steam rising off our bodies from the heat we had directed at each other. There was certainly enough water around. By now we were both pretty drenched and it shocked me to realize how much I noticed how his clothes adhered to his body with the rainwater. How his hair, slicked back was off his face and I could see his eyes better. And at the time all it made me do was make me madder if anything. I’m not the brightest guy at the best of times with shit like this. I can see now why I was so angry, but not then. At least not yet.

“Since you’ve shown you can take it. You can take it can’t you Reeve?”

“What are you talking about?” After that he winced as he tried to shift positions. And this time I noticed it. He moved his weight off one hand and moved it up to rub his side gingerly. I pushed all anger aside momentarily and sunk down on my knees, closer to check his side. As soon as my fingers touched the spot he hissed. “Don’t. You’ve done enough.”

I might’ve found the comment cutting if it had been an accident. But it hadn’t been and he knew that. Some of that anger started to seep back.

“Stop being so stubborn and let me take a look.”

Pissed off at me or not, he really had no choice. I used being a Turk to my own advantage at any possible opportunity. Getting out of parking fines, free travel on public transport and intimidating my friends. And if I wanted to look at Reeve’s injury I would look at it no matter what he wanted and he goddamn knew he couldn’t stop me.

I pulled the sodden shirt away from his skin and up enough to get a look at his side. Well the tar had rubbed it pretty raw. At least for five or six inches up his side, but at least it looked clean. I could also tell he was going to have a massive bruise there later that would look much bigger and nastier. Well won’t Peter fucking Walker have fun telling Reeve ‘I told you so’s. Running my finger further up his ribs with slight pressure I asked, “Does that hurt?”

“Of course it fucking hurts. You aren’t as light as you look.”

Yeah well, no one is as light as they look when they land on top of you. But the point I was trying to make was that he might have bruised his ribs as well. So, naturally, I poked him harder.

“Ow!”

That was enough apparently, cause he grabbed my hand and attempted to wrench it away from his ribs. I almost fell on top of him again. I managed to stop my fall by catching myself with my hand planted on the other side of him, but it was a close call.

“I’m just trying to help.” I told him evenly.

Reeve cocked his head to the side slightly, still a little angry but more confused than anything. It was an odd change I’ll tell you. And I would’ve preferred him being angry rather than this.

“Reno, something’s wrong. Why are you acting like this?”

A thousand and one cutting remarks bubbled up to my lips but I had trouble forcing any of them past. I’d pissed him off, annoyed him, verbally bashed his boyfriend and him physically and here he was attempting not be angry after all and looking into my eyes as if he could read that there was in fact a problem from them. Perceptive little shit sometimes. And I could do nothing but answer him honestly.

“I don’t know.”

Reeve looked at me a little more closely and sighed, “I think I do.”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to enlighten me or not at that point. Perhaps I did know more than I realized after all.

“It’s Peter isn’t it. You’ve only been like this since I mentioned him. You like him don’t you?”

In the middle of my nodding I froze. What? Reeve thought I had the hots for Walker? That was ludicrous beyond words. That was definite need of lobotomy territory. I felt my imaginary ulcer kick up again.

“What?”

“It’s okay. If you do I mean. I just wished you’d told me before we ended up in a mini war on the basketball court is all.”

Still deathly calm. “What?”

“I mean you’re my friend and I…”

What happened next wasn’t really clear to me till I leant away from him and saw those warm brown eyes widened in disbelief. Shock. Horror? I couldn’t really tell. But it was definite alarm. I had thought it must be one of those dreams where you show up for work naked, or are found screwing your bosses wife or something as equally embarrassing. But no, this was no unreal dream. I had actually kissed Reeve.

Screw the lobotomy, where was my gun.

At that point I was feeling pretty weird. Usually my friends were a no go. Complete and total, hands off. The reason was that I knew how much of a bastard I could be in situations like that and I didn’t want the few friendships I had to be screwed over (pardon the bad pun) because I simply couldn’t keep my hands to myself. I will stress at this point that Rufus didn’t count. Basically because he was just like me we had cultivated an understanding of sorts. But not even the friendship rule was applicable here. I can’t ever remember wanting to fuck Reeve before, and the truth was that that wasn’t the foremost on my mind now. And lets get this straight, I didn’t kiss people I didn’t want to fuck. It wasn’t that I had never been attracted to the guy. He was rather a good looking guy. He just wasn’t my usual type. In other words, Reeve was a stayer. He didn’t want to fuck people, he wanted to have relationships with them. And that had been my initial problem with Walker and Reeve being together. Walker never wanted that. He was worse than me in that respect because he always used to not make that simple fact clear to the other person before everything got started. Walker wanted a collection of people he could fuck. Not one night stands sure, but at least three or so people at one time that he would fuck with some regularity. That was all fine and good, except for the not telling them part. But me? I always made things clear. Right from the very beginning. So why didn’t I do that now? Tell Reeve the truth about Walker, tell him I found him attractive and give him the ultimatum. Well, I think I mentioned this before, I didn’t want to screw him. Well, I’ll be honest, it obviously did cross my mind. So let’s just say, I didn’t want to /merely/ fuck him. What I really wanted to do was kiss him again and keep kissing him till he forgot about the marvelous Peter fucking Walker and could only think of me and how much better I’d be in the boyfriend role that Walker was supposedly being. And freakiest of all; I wanted to prove that right.

So under the circumstances, I did the only decent thing I could think of doing for the man. I got to my feet, told him I was sorry and started to walk away. Now before you go off thinking ‘oh no, angsty bullshit warning’ it wasn’t like that at all. I wasn’t being all sullen and depressive. Well not for the effect of being that way anyway. I was simply just doing the guy a favor. He would see what Walker was for himself, get over it eventually and I would not fuck up one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. And it would have worked out that simply too. Stunned as he was, he didn’t stop me. It wasn’t till I got home later and saw that happy red light on my answer machine flickering that I began to feel sick again.

First one was Tseng telling me that the job tonight had been called off. Well so much for being able to bury myself in my work.

The second one was undeniably worse. It was Reeve.

“Hi Reno, it’s me. Look, about today…shit I hate talking on these things…we have to talk. I’ll be at home all night so please ring me here. I really need to talk to you. I feel so bad about what happened today.”

/He/ felt bad? I felt like I could crawl down the U-bend in my toilet, and /he/ was the one feeling bad? Before I knew it I was calling him back.

/”Hello? Reno?”/

Well, at least he hadn’t asked if it was Walker first.

Jealousy’s a bitch, shoot me..

“Yeah, it’s me. What’s up?”

When in doubt, ignorance is the key. Pretend it didn’t happen and often others will pretend to as well. Reeve though, wasn’t one of those ‘others’.

/”I want to talk to you. Can you come over?”/

If the sirens in my head could be heard for real, we both would have been deafened by now.

“It’s not a real good time. I’m kind of busy.” I did after all have a toilet to climb down.

/”Don’t give me that.”/ Not angry, just knowing. Reeve had shrewdness down to an art. I used to hate it that he knew me so well. Wait, /used/ to? /”If I have to I’ll just talk to you over the phone all night.”/

“Aren’t you seeing Walker tonight?” Bad Reno. Insensitive asshole.

/”No.”/ A pause here. The kind of pause used to gather thoughts or sometimes courage. /”I want to see /you/.”/

Okay, so courage it was. And the tone he used was more than enough to make me stare at the phone like it was about to eat me.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” I told him honestly.

/”Why?”/

“You’re with someone.” I pointed out lamely.

/”Yeah but is he the right someone? Look, I just want to talk, that’s all.”/

Squeezing my eyes shut, knowing this was a BAD idea I agreed. Half an hour. Fine. Poor bastards. Both of us.

So here I sit now, staring at my shoes, sitting on the stairwell in Reeve’s apartment building, trying to decide whether I want to throw a friendship away. I honor friends more than anything in this world and there are good reasons why I never ever try to bed one of them. I can never have the certainty that it will be better in the long run. And believe it or not, I hate uncertainties. At least as far as this shit is concerned.

Who would have thought that one little kiss could result in this? Shake the unshakeable. Make the utterly confident, insecure. Namely, fuck with my brain so much that I’m sweating with the idea of knocking on that apartment door. One little kiss is all it took to let me know how I really feel. And at the same time make me feel as though I’ve had ice-water dumped down my shorts.

Getting reluctantly to my feet I start moving again and don’t stop till I’m exactly where I know I ought to be.

So much relief when he opens the door and smiles at me.

Fini.

Notes: I know, it’s not one of my better ones. I really can only write on one coupling once and I did it with these two in a series. But a promise is a promise and I can only hope that Kira and anyone else reading enjoyed it anyway. I will admit, I did have fun writing it. It was sweet and angsty, though I had intended to make it funny. Always happens with romances, I just can’t seem to make them light-hearted. In fact I’m pushing it half the time to give them a happy ending. *giggles*

You should be thankful

AF

anime_fearie@excite.com

Yay Kira for showing her marvelous taste by visiting Neo Midgar

http://www.oocities.org/anime_fearie/

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