Author: Ann of Midnight
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the shows I borrowed characters from… blablabla
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: I live for it.
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I did what he wanted. I killed him. I killed him and it felt really, really good. I can feel his power just vibrating inside me. I’m afraid I’ve reached perfect happiness for the first time since Buffy made me feel human, but I know that’s no longer possible, that I can no longer loose myself as I once did.
I stare at his dead body from my position on top of him because for all I know, he will be leaving when he gets out.
I realize as it’s happening that I’m smoothing his hair back. I’ll never get used to immortals.
I stand up; I don’t need the light to find my underwear and pants, and I smirk at the leather. Bizarre choice I made back there.
Lilah ushered everyone out and counted her money. She smiled.
Granted, she would have enjoyed the show much more if she had been alone, but she had already sent her assistant to make her a personal copy of the video footage. She looked up to see Angel fumbling for his pants and look her way. She knew he couldn’t see her, yet she felt like he did; his dangerous stare could crack the mirror… How badly would her reputation be ruined if she jumped up and down laughing and clapping? Normally she would think there was some kind of catch, some kind of trick, but ‘Adam’ was clearly dead and Angel had clearly bitten him. She thanked her lucky stars for her brilliant plan.
I’m staying in game face. It’s such a relief not to have to wear my human mask, I’d forgotten; I even wear it sleeping now. Darla taught me a long time ago and I, in turn taught William and Drucilla and Penn and that waste of space Diego. After awhile you get used to never being completely relaxed.
It’s surprising the sort of things you think of in moments like these, in those moments where you should be working a plan. Truth is, I don’t have one. Not really.
Cordelia’s gone, and I’m not sure I want to face the world out there without her. And Connor, my son.
I have a son.
I named him Conner because the meaning of the moniker was exactly right, because he was the total embodiment of my heart’s desire. He was everything I never knew I always wanted. I’m a dad.
I am a father and my son hates me.
I pick up the heaviest chair, disregarding the fact that it was bolted to the floor and walk over to the big two-way mirror. I swing at it and stop short, laughing.
“Lilah.” I knock on it lightly with my knuckles. “Lilah,” I singsong with a smile.
“You’re going to get this carcass out of here if you want to live.” I state.
I’m leaning against the mirror now, chair in hand. I turn my head so she can see my profile.
“You have one minute before I break through this and about two seconds more until your neck is hanging at a very uncomfortable angle,” I warn her.
I get morbid pleasure out of playing Angelus or playing Angel playing Angelus. There’s freedom in it, darkness. It’s a part of me that I wish I didn’t have, but that I whole-heartedly claim as myself.
Maybe all that time in the water did drive me crazy, because I’m giggling and wiping my brow.
All that keeps running through my head is that my son hates me and he may never know how much I love him. He would be close to a year old now, but there will never be first steps, or first words. I will never hear him laughing, carefree, running around the corner to attach himself to my leg. There will never be awkward father son talks or parent-teacher meetings. There will be no explaining why daddy is different; no seeing his eyes change as he realized what I am, what I’ve kept from him. I will never know if my deepest hope could come true, I will never know if he would have loved me anyway, as I could never love myself.
Worst of all is finding Methos after all these years.
I turn around and growl at the glass. I am surprised when I see commitment in my act.
I feel emptier than I’ve ever felt at this moment, across the room from his corpse. To my surprise someone does come in and quickly drag his body out. To mask my extreme sadness, I smile evilly at the man and inhale his fear. Sweet.
The door closes and locks in more than one place. It's metal, and the best bet I have is to go through on of these mirrors. Still, I don’t know where I am. Underground somewhere, I’d already surmised.
I hope they don’t decide chopping ‘Adam’ into pieces would make the body easier to dispose of.
When you’re like me, you can’t just change identities every time you die or people notice you don’t naturally age. You move around until you’re bored of who you are. Looks like Adam Pierson had a final hurrah left in him.
They put me in the morgue. If I had a dime for every time I woke up in a place like this… Well, I’d be rich… er.
I knock out a clean looking employee to get myself some clothes. I turn the underwear inside out and shudder. I’ve got to get my sword; then I can go back for Angelus.
I should go back for him.
Getting out of the building was ridiculously easy, and I didn’t even get my face on camera. I step into a sad looking pub and order a pint. It’s a risk, but I need to think.
Immortals and their memories... always the memories.
Not only had the distinguished Doctor Adams known William Richards, the bloody bad poet, but he had also known Liam Dinsmore for a brief period, years before he met the vampire Angelus.
Word of mouth had caught up to Dr Adams, several villages down the road: A day after loosing their son, Liam’s parents and younger sister had been buried. So I was surprised and curious to say the least when Liam himself walked into a society party with a woman on each arm, years after he was pronounced dead.
I was curious about life back then, so very curious. For millennia I tortured people, pushed bodies to their limits daily, and off and on through the endless centuries I became a doctor to understand. To see.
I still want to know everything, and every once in awhile I want to be a doctor again, because what makes the human body tick is and always was so very fascinating.
Maybe I can take a refresher course where I’m going. Maybe if I go quickly I’ll forget I saw him again, held him again, loved him…
“Is she here?”
“Ma’am. The next scheduled victim is here, however you said to notify you if anyone came around looking for Adam.”
“He’d dead now.”
“I know, but when the cops on our payroll approached them at the Regent, they insisted on coming along to identify the body.”
“I thought I told you to incinerate it.”
“There’s no incinerator in this building ma’am. We were going to dump the body into another dimension but the demon that was scheduled to help us stole some office supplies and was banished to the mail room for the next 100 years; we’re waiting for a replacement.”
“Oh?”
“It’s all about the paperwork, and none of us are trained in decapitation and disposal.”
“Figures.”
“We apologize ma’am, but the rules clearly state that as a city run building, no corpse can be on premises longer than half an hour. The city covers up all vampire murders and we’re connected to the morgue through corridor C and access door 24. From there we only have two elevators to take and we’re across the street.”
“But you didn’t bring Adam’s friends to the morgue?”
“We brought them here. They were distracted. They’re in one of the offices with the guards.”
“And why exactly did you bring them here?”
“Since Anne the do-gooder can be dealt with anytime, and Mr McDonald hasn’t been found, I thought it-“
“You want a promotion don’t you?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Don’t count on it.”
“Of course not, just doing my job.”
"We need Anne because Connor met with her this summer and Angel also knows her; it'll be most dramatic on camera and should make the impact I want on that dirty little brat."
"Yes of course Sir."
"Excuse me?"
"I mean Miss Morgan, Sir... Ma'am."
Lilah got a little aggravated with her underling. “Yeah, yeah. Do you have the status report on the Las Vegas trip?”
“Mr. Stabile is typing it up. We ran out of ways to slow them down, so a shape-shifter tried to rob the Bellagio.”
“As who?”
“The black man sir. They never got to the Pylean.”
“And did anyone think this may make the news?”
“It didn’t. He’s in lock up and she’s been detained for questioning. They will be detained another 48 hours, and we’ll see where we go from there.”
“And who are these people looking for Adam?”
“They say they’re friends of his. A man and a woman. They were acting suspiciously.”
“Really? Did you get some audio on them on the way over?”
“The lady refused to get in the back of a police car, so they followed in a convertible. There is audio in the office they are in now.”
“Turn it on, and get out.”
“Yes Miss Morgan.”
A man and a woman were talking in hushed tones.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”
“Well I think it’s a nice change don’t you think, ME talking YOU into something.”
“Have you seen this place? The morgue it ain’t, and everybody’s got a weapon.”
“We’ve got weapons.”
“Blades, not guns. Do you even remember how to get out of here?”
“Of course I do, Amanda.”
“Good, now let’s go, this feels wrong, you know as well as I do there’s no way the old man’s here.”
“I agree, what would a graduate student be doing in a place like this?”
“Well, he better be in trouble, or else Faith is going to be pretty pissed at you and you are going to owe me so big...”
“How big?”
“I heard the Hope diamond is-“
“Amanda!”
“Mac, baby, let’s just get out of here.”
“Fine, we’ll try some bars around the last hotel he was seen at.”
“We still don’t know the last hotel he stayed at.”
Before they took off, Lilah left her office to go meet the duo.
A very sexy man in his late thirties and a mysterious woman in her earlier thirties ‘greeted’ her at the door. They seemed powerful somehow and she was suddenly glad bodyguards flanked her.
She instantly took a dislike to the woman and decided to make her #1.
“I’ll have my colleagues escort your friend to the faculty lounge. It might be more comfortable for her there. We have snacks.”
As the burly men grabbed Amanda lightly by the arm, they heard her saying. “Now, now dearies, you really don’t want to do that. Not if you value your teeth.
Lilah had ushered the man further into the room, and although he protested vehemently, she could see that he would never put his hands on a woman to get by. What a joke.
“My name is Lilah Morgan, you can call me Lilah. I understand you’re a friend of Adam’s?”
“Yes. We’re friends of his. He disappeared from Paris awhile ago and we were worried.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss. The truth is, we never got to know Adam. One minute he was our newest researcher and the next he was gone.”
MacLoed pulled out a picture of his friend and showed it to her.
“Is this the man you’re talking about?”
“Yes. I’m afraid it is,” she said, turning away from him to hide her smile.
“Do you mind if I ask what killed him?”
“The autopsy hasn’t been performed yet, but preliminary findings indicate aneurysm.” She fibbed.
Lilah was surprised to see relief on the man’s features when she faced him.
“Well, thank you for your time Lilah, but if you could point me to the lounge, I’ll collect my friend and be going now.”
“Just like that?”
My shirt’s ripped, my face is bleedin’, one of my teeth got loose and my knuckles are cut up and swollen. Woo bloody hoo. Bastard won’t be standing up for awhile, that’s for sure.
Ha. I was strong. No ‘arm done here. Didn’t wet myself, didn’t cower from a fight, just ‘ad a few drinks and I’m right back on top of everything. Glad I didn’t call Sunnyhell.
Damn, just stepped in some Frewah demon’s goo. Just a few more steps and I can take a bleedin’ sodding shower and this day won’t have been a complete fiasco.
Let’s see… Went to a bar, went to another bar. Met that tripod bloke. Went to a pub, gathered more information. Got discouraged. Went to another bar. Called the slayer… oh, bloody hell!
Sod and bugger it all…
I guess I better leave another message. Tell ‘em I was right pissed… For Satan’s sake, am I really that dim?
God I hope they aren’t ‘ome when I call back.
I’m pacing around in the dark. I can’t get myself to just sit. I want to die and jump out of my own skin at the same time.
I could hold onto Methos. If his plan works and he gets out of here, if I see him again... I hadn’t realized how much I missed him. I hadn’t known how the fire we once shared would course through my being the second I laid eyes on him or how deep my love for him went. I had brushed it under the rug, because Angelus thought of it like an infection. I had tried not to think of it.
Methos had me enthralled the second we locked eyes.
Completely. He brought emotions out in me that I didn’t think any vampire possessed, of course then I made William and he was pure feeling…
I can’t believe he has a soul. What does that mean for all the prophecies? What does that mean for us? What did he mean when he said he asked for it?
I turn around and growl as the door opens and they shove someone in. Great, now what do I do? Am I Angelus? Should I stall? Maybe I should be Angelus playing Angel and go from there? And how the hell do I get myself into all these situations!?
The lady kicks at the door and turns around looking scared. She turns on the light. When she sees me she goes for something in her coat lining, and I realize she’s immortal too. I run to her and grab her other hand, shaking it and giving her my best shy smile.
“Hi, I’m Angel, and I’m being held prisoner.”
“Amanda. Can you tell me what you’re doing here?” She says, putting the arm that was reaching for the sword down and looking around the room and no doubt spotting all the hidden and not so hidden equipment.
“It’s a long story.”
“And what about my friend, he's about 30, has short brown hair, he's skinny and he's got one of those cute little accents? Have you seen him?”
“No I didn’t, you’re the first person I’ve seen in days.”
“Great,” she said, putting her arm down. “So are you going to kill me soon or can I get myself a snack first?”
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