By: Ann of Midnight
E-mail: midnightann@excite.com
Rating: NC-17
Distribution: Please let me know where you intend to put it before you take it.
Timeline: Everything is canon up to the end of season 5, with Buffy’s swan dive off the tower. I believe Angel sired Spike, like they first said, and I play around with the vampires’ lives pre-Sunnydale. None of season 6 happened, including Willow’s foray into black magic; Tara therefore never left. All this is quite mute anyway, since there are only two characters in this fic: Spike and Dawn. It does contain allusions to slash pairings between vampires, and the slash pairing of Willow and Tara.
Author’s note: I am well aware this pairing is unconventional, if you disapprove, you should run away from this fic, as fast as your little legs can carry you. Feedback is appreciated, but please don’t waste my time or yours with flaming. This isn’t my usual pairing, but it nagged me until I wrote it. I do confess I had to take a shower after first writing it; I felt sleezy. But someone must like them, and this is for you.
Spike had spent the last year practically living with the younger Summers and the two witches. Willow and Tara had decided to fly to parts unknown to get an urn, he overheard, for Buffy’s resurrection, and he had moved his things into the house to be there for Dawn. He didn’t think a resurrection could happen, of course. They had changed Amy back to human form, but she had had a few hinges loose and was wreaking small-scale havoc all over town. It had been too long for Buffy, in Spike’s opinion. Angelus had come back, but the wanker had had his body in the Hell dimension. Buffy, well, she was dead. Really dead. Probably flying around from cloud to cloud with no desire to ever walk this earth again.
He was okay with that now. He just was. His only problem was that the witches had been gone for weeks and he was hornier that he’d ever been. Yes, he could count the times Angelus had left him naked and wanting, chained up with no relief in sight. However that was somewhat pleasurable, because there was always on orgasm or ten on the horizon, no matter how long he had to wait. Angelus would decide that he’d been waiting enough and would fuck him into the mattress. Drucilla would beg and plead their master for permission to suck Spike off and they would all have jolly good fun.
“Those were the days.”
The two of them, then the three of them and sometimes the four of them, counting Darla. It was all blood and sex and violence and total satisfaction. Had he not been so young, he would have tried to enjoy it more, because the rest of his years on earth had not been as pleasant. There was the loss of their Sire to a Gypsy Curse, the subsequent years of anguish, the incident in Prague and finding Angel in his Sire’s place, then thinking Angelus back only to discover a demented psychopath masquerading as the true Angelus. And now the chip, and all it brought with it. Yeah, he could still shag some vampires, fight demons, whatever, but his Dark Goddess was nowhere to be found and his Sire was in L.A. (and let’s just say their relationship needed a little working on).
So there he was with a permanent hard on. And the witches were gone and he needed to be there for Dawn. At night. When it was dark because that’s when humans slept.
He had been over the day the witches had left, and he had overheard them having sex in the laundry room. Then just as he was about to relieve his problem, Dawn had come into her room and stripped herself of her shirt before seeing him on her bed. She jumped and covered herself, but it was too late, and he had already imagined what she would do if he touched her there, on her pert little breasts. He had covered himself with a pillow while sitting up, and then walked out the door locking himself in the bathroom to take a cold shower, only to realize a cold shower was just as good as a hot shower to jerk off in.
That hadn’t helped anything. He was driving himself mad, reliving that moment with Dawn. Yeah, she was barely 16, but he was a vampire. He was bad. In his day, it had been perfectly acceptable to get a wife or go to a whore that age. Even younger. Plus Angel had fallen for Buffy when he had first seen her, and she had been 15, and he was older than Spike. Way older than Spike.
“So who’s the real perv, Peaches?”
If he wanted to get technical, and he seemed to at the moment, Angelus had turned Drucilla at 16, although the trauma she had gone through made her look older. And he himself had been first shagged at 14. So there. Plus technically Dawn was hundreds of thousands of years his elder. And it’s not like he could do anything about it either. She liked him, but she didn’t like him like him. At least, he didn’t smell that on her often, and when he did he chalked it up to normal adolescent hormones.
He really couldn’t do anything about it. He had the chip. If he did anything she didn’t want to do, anything at all, maybe a split second of regrets would send the chip off. And could he stop himself from marking her, from drinking her, if he was that close to her? There was no way she would want that.
His fantasies were different. She wanted to be his in all senses of the world. In those fantasies, he was free of the chip. Free to kill who ever he pleased. Free to feed till he was full, and she accepted that. And they shagged all the time.
He had been keeping his fantasies as far from reality as possible. He didn’t want to bring them into everyday life, to really ask himself how she would react if he made advances on her.
Plus if the witches found out-
“Let’s not think about that.”
No one had ever refused him sex. Ever. Except for Buffy, but her heart belonged to his Sire, so he hadn’t even tried. He understood that, no matter how it looked, because his Sire had a big chunk of his heart too. Maybe one day he would return, see if he could have a relationship with Angel again.
“See if we can’t kiss and make up.”
He continued pacing around the house and talking to himself.
He doubted that Angel knew what had gone on with him. If he had, the part of him that was Angelus would have broken through and gone after every single one of those soldier boys. And then he would have removed the chip. Because there’s nothing a knife and some Sire’s blood can’t fix. He was sure of that. That is what he told himself anyway.
It was dark already. He had fed and bathed himself and put a load of laundry in- yeah, pathetic. So he was shirtless (stain) and his hair was wet. He had been remembering catching Dawn dancing around the house many times, and the mere thought of her tight ass swinging back and forth was enough to drive him mental. The girl had rhythm. The girl had style. The girl had no idea what she was doing to him. A knock on the door cut short his musings and he went downstairs to answer it.
“Sorry Spike, I forgot my key.” Said the object of his affection, taking in the sight before her.
Her heartbeat picked up as she tried not to stare. Spike picked up the slightest aroma of arousal on her. He inhaled deeply and covered himself up with his towel.
“Are Willow and Tara back yet?”
“Why, you need help with your homework?”
“Yes but no.”
“What do you mean?”
“Spike, don’t make me say this. You just can’t help with this. Trust me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“What could be embarrassing about school subjects? Are you learning about tampons, ‘cause I’m not afraid of those, I bought them for Willow and Tara the other day you know. I’m modern. And if you ever tell anyone that I will rip your toes and fingernails off and pour rubbing alcohol on the wounds.”
“I have homework in Sex ed. We had a whole discussion in class today and I have to write about what I feel. She even gave us a questionnaire that’s kind of interesting. It’s for ourselves, to explore ourselves, like it might help us figure out if we’re ready to have sex or if we may have homosexual tendencies or, a bunch of stuff. The paper is for next Monday and it’s about how well you know yourself and where you stand on the topics discussed in class. There’s no right or wrong stand, but I’m kinda curious so I think I’m going to do the questionnaire, it might help me with the project. I was hoping Willow or Tara would do it with me, so I would know I’m not such a freak. And I’m failing that health class I’m doing over because of the road trip last year, with Glory and everything. So I have to get an A on this. And Mrs. Wilkes is tough. So the questionnaire would help with the paper, eventually and I just thought Willow and I could do it together, so I would know I’m not a total freak.”
“You already said that.”
“Right. Oh, God, this is so embarrassing.” She put her head in her hands and sat down on the couch, her face beet red.
“No it’s not. But I’ll leave you to it, if you need,” said the amused vampire.
Dawn took a deep breath and attempted shaking off the emotions she was feeling. “I guess it would be okay for you to stay. You know about this stuff right?”
“Do you know how old I am? Do you know what I’ve seen in that time?”
“No, and I well, I do want to know. But Buf- you won’t ever tell me. Will you do this questionnaire with me?”
“Sure. I guess there’s no harm in that.” He said, a little worried about where this would take them.
“First question: How do you feel about this questionnaire?” She exhaled. “Awkward but curious.”
Spike nodded.
“What attracts you to someone?” She looked up, and her eyes became pleading. “Spike, is it okay if I ask you all these questions first, and then I answer them, I would feel a lot better.”
“Only if you promise to answer. It’s not fair if I’m the only one embarrassing myself.”
“You’re not embarrassed,” she guessed.
“Not in the least,” answered the blond, surprised she noticed.
“So what attracts you to someone?”
“Now or then?” He enquired, getting comfortable in his seat and turning slightly towards her.
“What?”
“Vampire or mortal, pet?”
“Okay, well, how bout when you were my age?”
“Ankles. Breasts. Shoulders. Eyes. Whoever didn’t smell too much, frankly.”
She giggled. “And now?”
“Everyone’s attractive when you’re a vampire, luv. Some you want to torture, some you want to kill, some you want to eat and some you want to shag. There are even people we want to make love to.”
“Really, so everyone?”
“Yeah.”
“Every girl?”
“Yeah.”
“So Buffy?”
“All of the above.”
“My mom?” She squeaked, eyebrow raised.
“Shag.”
“Really?”
“You asked.”
“True. So what about Willow?”
“Shag.”
“Tara?”
“Maybe shag, definitely eat.”
“Anya?” She asked incredulously.
“If she could keep her mouth shut, shag. If not, torture.”
“So, you’ve really thought about this.”
“I’ve got a lot of time on my hands.”
“So what about me?” She asked timidly.
He went somber immediately. She had caught him completely off guard. If he told her...
“You don’t want to know,” he evaded.
“Yeah, you probably don’t think of me like that.”
Silence.
“Are you most attracted to people of the opposite sex, or of the same sex?”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“I am most attracted to the opposite, and the same sex,” he explained, looking into her beautiful eyes that had become round as saucers. “Baby, I’m a vampire.”
“Oh, so you really meant everyone,” she perked up, “That’s so…well, it’s kinda cool.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“Xander?”
“Except for Xander. No matter what the boy says, he is no nummy treat.”
“And Giles?”
“Except for him too.”
“What about Riley?” She asked without thinking.
Spike growled.
“First of all, that stupid ponce looks like a troll, and second of all I would pay good money to rip him limb from limb and then remove his still beating heart while he watches. He fits in the torture for years before he is granted the sweet release of death categorie.”
“Sorry,” she said sheepishly. Too curious not to press on, she kept the tone light. She couldn’t believe she was getting all this information. No one ever told her anything. “Do I know a guy you were attracted to?”
“Yes.”
“Well, who?”
“Don’t you go babbling this to anyone okay? I’ve got a reputation.”
“Who is it Spike?!”
“Hair boy.”
“Angel? But you hate him, you tortured him a few years back- I remember-“
“Foreplay.”
“What? Eww.”
“He’s my Sire. I am blood of his blood. He has a hold on me no one else has. I was his first child. His favorite childe.”
“I thought Drucilla made you?”
“She says that sometimes. We said that sometimes. But Angel’s the Daddy. He’s the one who found me. He’s the one. It should be in a Watcher’s diary, although there are probably five different versions. Depends on who you have siring me, what year it was....So go on with it.”
“What happens to you when you’re attracted? To your body?”
“Well, if I can do something about it I get really happy. If I can’t, I get a bit grumpy. Sometimes I kill everything I can find. Sometimes I punch holes through the walls. Sometimes, I take showers. To my body. I’m a man, so, my penis gets hard. My balls tighten up. My vision tends to cloud if it’s really bad. Sometimes I loose reason. Sometimes I do things I shouldn’t be doing.”
He closed his eyes sat back on the couch to accommodate his raging erection. He noticed the dim lighting and their proximity to each other.
“If you’ve had a first kiss-put yourself in that position and describe your feeling. Did you feel you were ready?”
“Hell yeah. Kissing’s great. I had my first kiss at 14. Her name was May. She was a neighbor, we used to play together, run away together. One day, she was running from her father. We got wet. We were panting. All of a sudden we weren’t so dirty anymore. I could see her. I could glance her nipples through her blouse. They were all hard, and I was so close… She caught me staring. She said my name; William. Then she got real close and laid one on me. First, just a slightly open mouth kiss, then more of a full on, slow building, toe curling, just enough tongue kiss.”
He inhales deeply, lost in thoughts. He smells her growing arousal with a mix of panic and anticipation.
“Have you ever touched yourself? There’s a whole section you can fill out if you don’t for religious reasons or what you feel are morale issues, but I doubt that’s you.”
“You’re right. I love masturbating. It’s only natural you know? I just go at it, no teasing. I just take my cock and squeeze it tight. I imagine whatever it is I want, like someone’s lips on it, teeth grazing, hand on my balls, finger up my arse.”
“Cause that’s where your g-spot is right?
“It’s our prostate glad. Where did you learn that?”
“My friend asked the teacher if it was true. She saw it on the internet, everyone thought it was gross.”
Spike wasn’t saying anything. He was busy thinking about how good it felt to have someone hitting that spot hard and steady.
“So how often does this happen?” Dawn asked, knocking him out of his reverie. “Once a day, once every two days… More if…”
“If what?”
“If you’re all on the rag.”
“What?”
“Can you imagine what that does to me? The smell of the blood all around? Powerful witches blood you can smell from miles around, and virgin blood.” He croaked. “Oh, Dawn, it’s so hard to stay away from you sometimes. I just want to take you and-“ He whispered, eyes closed and fists balled up…
“Oh my god. I am so sorry about that Spike. I never though about it like that. I’ll tell Tara and Willow not to expect you around too much during that time.”
“Don’t worry nibblet. I’m a glutton for punishment. I swear, I almost like torturing myself.”
“Okay. Whatever you say.”
“If someone has touched you intimately before, describe your feelings. Did you enjoy it? Were there bad feeling along with the touching?”
“Yeah, there can be bad feeling along with the touching. Sometimes bad is good and sometimes bad is bad. When I was 11, my mother started selling my services. Usually they weren’t aloud to touch me but sometimes they would. Once I had to run away so I could vomit. A lot of times I would gag.”
“Oh, my god. You were…”
He smelled her arousal coming down. Wanting to keep the intoxicating scent going. “Next question.”
“If you’ve had oral sex, given or received, what did you think of this intimate act?”
“My favorite subject. Oral sex is… the best. Well not the very best, but the best. Getting sucked off or giving head. Or going down on a women. Liking up her essence. Watching her thrash around, knowing that I am giving her-” He vamped. Turns his head away from the girl. “Let’s move on.”
“When you think of sex, what images come to mind?”
Spike immediately got a flash of himself, pumping hard into Dawn and her crying out for him. He thought of leaving.
“Are you with a person of the opposite, or of the same sex?” She continued.
“Skip that one for me love. I don’t think you want to know what image just came to mind.”
“Come on? What is it. Is it really gross?” She squealed jumping closer to him.
He turned his head, finding himself nose to nose with the teenager.
“What if I told you it was you, spread out for me. Inviting me in. Bleeding."
Her blood pressure shot up. It was dizzying for the vampire. She distanced herself shakily.
“Spike?”
“What?”
“If you’ve had sex, what was your first time like? Did you use protection, do you wish it was different?”
“Well, that depends if you mean with a man or a women.”
She was at a loss for words.
“Well, the protection point is mute on both counts, because if it existed I wasn’t privy to it. With a woman, I was 15. It was May. It was awkward because I didn’t really know what to do. But it was nice and human. We fumbled a lot. It didn’t last very long.”
“Well, the first time a man had his way with me… It wasn’t so much fun. I had been working for my mother a couple of years. I was 13 or 14. I was saved by a wanker with long poufy hair and a bow. I didn’t know who he was at the time, he told me later he had snapped that man’s neck. He had been following me. He was nicely dressed. He talked in a heavy Irish brogue. He was nice.” Spike inhaled, looking at Dawn and moving his eyebrows up and down. “He kissed me. He cleaned up my bleeding buttocks. He fucked me slow and good. Oh God, I thought I was going to die. I think he bit me but I was too enthralled. He got dressed and said he would come back for me. I looked for him for 6 years. And then he found me again, and we were a family.”
“Oh, so that was Angel. It’s kinda romantic how he saved you.”
“Well, he couldn’t save me from all of them. And no one could save me from him. But I don’t regret anything… And now it’s your turn.”
“No, I want to know what happened, when you became a vampire, what happened to your family, to May?”
“Your turn. You can ask me your questions some other time. Give me that.” She handed it to him. His eyes scanned the paper.
“What happens when you’re attracted?”
“I- I don’t know. I think-maybe I should-” the girl made a move to go. A hand stopped her, and pulled her slowly back down on the couch.
“I can tell you that. You get hot. Your brain clouds, a feeling starts in the pit of your stomach. Gets stronger. Moves up. Your heart rate picks up. Your breath becomes erratic.”
“Yeah.”
“So, tell me how your first kiss went.”
“Well, I never. My mom, Buffy, they never let me do anything. But once, after… when I was at a birthday, we played spin the bottle. I didn’t want to. This boy, he likes me but I really don’t like him. He spun, and I had to kiss him. It wasn’t very good. I was just, like, a peck. He tried to, ugh, French kiss me later and it was all slobbery and stuff, I didn’t like it.”
“Really?”
“What would you have wanted it to be like?”
“I don’t know. I always imagined… maybe Xander.”
“Xander! That pup? Can you get anyone less sexual than that boy? You know he likes men right?”
“But Anya?” “The exception I guess. If you could smell what I smell coming from him whenever my Sire’s name is mentioned.”
“Angel, but he hates Angel.”
“So do I.”
“Good point,”she laughed.
“So, you’re saying you’ve never been kissed. I mean good and kissed.”
“No.”
“Well, I am at your service tonight my lady,” he said without thinking.
“What?”
“I’m just saying that if you would like, to test my sexpertise, you’re more than welcome,” he explained nonchalantly. “You know how long it’s been since I’ve had any kind of contact?” He added, a slightly desperate twinge in his voice.
“You want to kiss me?” She squeaked.
“Ask you?”
“For anything.”