REAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

  Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

  Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

  Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

  Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

  Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

  Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

  Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

  Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

  Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

  Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

  British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

  Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

  Eye Drops Off Shelf

  Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

  Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

  Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

  Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

  Miners Refuse to Work after Death

  Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

  Stolen Painting Found by Tree

  Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

  Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

  Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

  War Dims Hope for Peace

  If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

  Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

  Deer Kill 17,000

  Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

  Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

  Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

  Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

  New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

  Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

  Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

  Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

  Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire

  Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

  Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

  New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

  Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors