OBITUARY NOTICE
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common
Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart failure at
the brink of the millennium.
No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were
long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his
life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and
offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare or
foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know
when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm,
and life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple sound financial policies (don't
spend more than you earn), and parenting strategies (the adults
are in charge, not the kids). A veteran of the Industrial
Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural trends including body
piercing, whole language, new math, and don't ask don't tell. But
his health declined when he became infected with the "If it
only helps one person, it's worth it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the
ravages of federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people
became ruled by lawyers and auditors. His health rapidly
deteriorated when schools implemented policies where a 6-year old
boy is charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a
teen is suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and
a teacher is fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses,
criminals received better treatment than their victims, and
federal judges invaded everything from Boy Scouts to Professional
Sports.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but
was kept informed of developments regarding regulation of
asbestos, low flow toilets, smart guns, and mandatory air bags,
and he was in disbelief when told that the homeowners
associations restricted exterior furniture only to that which
enhanced property values.
It was the aftermath of the 2000 Presidential election that
caused him to breath his last breath.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.