Chapter 4

 

Note: Most of this chapter is flashback.

 

Capeside, 2005.

 

“Hey, Potter, congratulations.” Joey turned around to the sound of Pacey’s voice, only to be caught up in one of those bear hugs that only he could give.

 

“Pacey? I can’t believe you came here,” she muttered against his shoulder.

 

“Well, you know, I had to see for myself how a graduated Potter looks like. It’s good to see you, Jo,” he gave her one of his million dollar grins, holding her closer.

 

Joey closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his arms around her, whispering softly, “It’s been way too long, Pace.”

 

He loosened his grip to see her face, his blues eyes shining with pride, pride of everything he knew she could accomplish in her life. He felt Dawson looking at them, with jealousy in his eyes. Some things would never change, but he didn’t want to deal with this, not today, not never.

 

“I’ve been working hard, Jo, just that. So, is it true what Bessie told me? London, Jo?”

 

She smiled shyly, a little embarrassed by his warm look.

 

“Yes, I’m leaving in two weeks; I got this scholarship to study British Literature.”

 

“Jo, can I talk to you privately? “ The way Dawson was looking at them was getting on his nerves. They went outside, sitting on her dock, the same way they did so many years ago, neither of them knowing exactly what to say.

 

“What’s up, Pace?” Joey asked, intrigued by his silence.

 

“I just wanted to give you your presents; I have to go back to New York early in the morning, and shouldn’t keep myself awake that late,”  he replied.

 

“Pacey, you are avoiding Dawson again; don’t even try to fool me about this.”

 

“I can’t lie to you, can I?” he replied with a chuckle, holding her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I don’t feel comfortable to talk to you around him, just that.”

 

“You guys are the most stubborn people I know, do you know that?” she sighed tiredly. “Can I tell you one thing, Pace?”

 

“What, Jo? Something wrong?” He looked at her, concerned.

 

“I’m scared, Pace, it’s like my life will never be the same. I don’t know if I’m ready for all this.”

 

“Potter, you are ready, and you’re gonna make it the best way. You know I’m the one who never believed that good things actually could happen to me, and now I gladly accept them, and if bad things happen, I now believe that they are not always my fault, like I used to believe not so long ago.”

 

“So, you finally accepted the fact that you are not a loser?” She couldn’t help her characteristic smile.

 

“Kind of, that, my dear Josephine. In fact, I don’t feel like that anymore. After all, I should be crazy to feel that, now that I was offered to be a partner at my job.”

 

 She was about to make some ironic comment about it, but the emotion she saw shining in his eyes made her silent. It was almost pleading her to be proud of him, as if she already wasn’t.

 

“Pace, that’s great, but you know what it means now?”

 

“No, tell me oh, wise one,” he laughed at her teasing face.

 

“You became one of those most eligible bachelors.” They both burst into laughter.

 

“Don’t worry, Potter, I think I’ll be one of those forever.”

 

“Why, don’t you think you’re gonna make it someday? Marry and all?”

 

“No, the only woman I could ever think about marrying is not available, at least not for me.”

 

Again, she was lost in his blue eyes. God, what was that between the two of them? The last two years they had kept their friendship, avoiding what happened after the K-mart incident. However, in the back of her mind there was always the question ‘what if’. Pushing it to the back of her mind, she joked, “still on that Julia Roberts thing, huh?”

 

“Yep, she thinks Clooney is more charming and handsome than me,” he shrugged. “But you don’t need to be jealous, Jo, there’s enough Pacey for all.”

 

“No, thanks, I don’t want to have indigestion,” she smirked, her tongue peeking between her teeth. “So, what do you have for me?”

 

“That hurts, Potter,” he put a hand on his heart feigning pain. “But, here it is. Actually I have two gifts for you, but one I feel kind of awkward to give it around other people.”

 

“Ok, I will decide it, ok?” Her eyes were open wide when she saw the Tiffany’s box he was taking from his jacket.

 

“Pacey, what is this?”

 

“Potter, I’m not proposing, if that’s what you’re thinking. Open it.”

 

Her mouth dropped when she saw the heart shaped diamond pendant in a white gold chain shining inside the box.

 

“Pace, this is too much.”

 

He took it from the box and put it on her, his fingers brushing softly on her skin, making her shiver.

 

“It’s never too much for you, Jo. I just want you to wear it and think of me whenever you feel lonely out there in London.  The other present is more like a memory, from another traveling adventure.” He handed her a wrapped book.

 

She opened it carefully, tears in her eyes when she read the title. The Little Mermaid. She could remember every word of it. And how every word sounded on his voice.

 

“So, I guess you like it,” he was trying to joke to break the tension he was feeling inside, the perspective of not being able to see her in the next two years was killing him.

 

Joey didn’t answer, .she just looked at him, not knowing what to say to this man who owned that giant part of her heart, even though she tried to run away from it, or  hide it, scared of those overwhelming feelings she had for him,  everything always brought her back to this same point...Pacey and her. Still holding the book, she opened it, absently looking through the pages when her eyes caught the dedicatory he had written: To Joey, who will always be my fairy tale princess. Love, Pacey.

 

They were both out of words. Suddenly he stood up, taking her with him.

 

“Would you like to dance with me? One last time before you face the big, bad world?”

 

“Here?”

 

“Here.” He embraced her, both moving to the soft music that came from inside the house, it felted so right and so wrong ate the same time.

 

“Pace?”

 

“Yes, Potter?” He was caressing her back softly.

 

“You know what scares me most?”

 

“What?” They both stopped dancing, just looking in each other’s eyes.

 

“That I’ll never find anyone who will love me the way you did.”

 

He was caught up off guard by her words. Not thinking, he leaned in, kissing her. It was a magical moment for both, remembering heir taste, their hearts beating franticly. He cupped her face with his hands never wanting it to stop. They broke the kiss slowly, their gaze never leaving their faces.

 

“Jo, I don’t need to say the words, in case you didn’t notice, it’s a heart I’m giving to you.”

 

“Pace...I don’t know what to say...”Again he’d taken her by surprise, putting his heart on line for her.

 

“Shh...Don’t say a word, sweetheart. I’m leaving now.  I just want you to know how I still feel. You have a whole year to figure this out, ok?” He kissed her forehead, walking away.

 

She stood there, looking as he left, feeling suddenly cold.

 

Some hours later

 

Pacey woke up with the annoying sound of the door ring. Three am. Who could it be? Doug was working, maybe something happened to his brother. That thought made him leave the bed only in his boxers, getting surprised , almost shocked when he saw Joey standing there as he opened the door. She didn’t say a word, only jumped in his arms, kissing him hungrily, like her own life depended on that.

 

“Joey,” he whispered, not sure if that was a dream, a good dream, as he closed the door behind her.

 

“Shh, Pace, don’t talk,” she put a finger on his lips to silence him,  took off her shirt, and went back to kissing him again. Not breaking it, they went to his bedroom, no words were necessary anymore.

 

“You slept with Pacey before you went to London?” A surprised Jen interrupted Joey.