S.P.O.R.T.S. Propaganda

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Sports are evil - S.P.O.R.T.S. is not. Join us, comrades! (by Jürgen) Here is a piece of art by Trimester - but don't believe it! When you look at this picture, what do you think of sports? The light is not the truth: don't join track or any other sport. Let's see... expansive fences, oppressive atmosphere... this looks like death row. But no, it's actually a school sports haven at Maple Grove Senior High School. (The watch tower snipers are out of view... SNIPE sports!) Here is an example of sports brainwashing. This is the first thing you see as you enter the high school. Fuck school, fuck school, fuck myyyy schoooooool and sports. Have you ever seen the pamphlet that says, 'How Communism Works' with Lenin as an octopus stretching his tentacles all over the earth? Well, since that's true (it has to be true because the government said), Trimester has made an offshoot of it relating to sports. The war will not be over until the Axis of Sports is defeated. Finally, we have evidence that sports can lead to the corruption of society. If there were no sports in Communist China, the workers could have gained independence from the dictatorship of Mao Zedong. But no, they chose to adore fucking authority. Another example of the deporable links between sports and people. See the kids on the right? Well, they're learning how to behave in society; they should not be subjected to such athletic brainwashing. The dominion of sports covers all ages across all 'nations', especially when old people want a way to have fun after retiring. This is not anti-gay propaganda. In fact, one might see it as testimony to the attitude of some sports players toward gays. Also, it just creates a different atmosphere. We still don't support Greg Louganis, because he was in the Olympics, etc. The U.S.A. and Maple Grove Sports Police (school spirit) seem to have banded together on this one. But no, it is a message of urgent importance - 'be patriotic, play sports and fight terrorism by not buying drugs'. Here's what happens when three sports at the U of M are cut. These students are not protesting just the sports cut; they are protesting the lower tuition for immigrants (probably; I'm just a bigot, so I don't know). This proves, without doubt, that sports are more important than immigrants (if I were Tom Bernard of the KQRS Morning Show, that is). Germany is a melting pot for football fans. As you can see, sports impair one's ability to function correctly in society, even though the newspaper SPORTS section would have you believe otherwise. However, hooligans and riots are funny when they are brought about by sports. (Courtesy of Jürgen - Frankfurt, June 2002.) If you look at the file name for this picture, you will see the intensity with which Jürgen took it. I don't think he could have painted a better picture of what happens when sports and globalism come together: a sports store (in Germany, mind you) with signs in English and a fucking McDonald's restaurant next to it. Kill. Destroy. Courtesy of Jürgen, duh. As everyone knows: after a hard day of football practice, there's nothing better than denying your body the benefits of exercise by driving your SUV to hip Maple Grove, masticating a meal of Big Macs and Krispy Kreme donuts, and washing it down with frappucinos and Vanilla Coke! Buy buy buy! Dude, I live my life a dozen at a time. This is a hilarious, yet serious, advertisement found by Mike L. Just think of a camp that makes you a better person... now take away sports, and what do you have? According to this, that would result in social depravity or something. Ah, the obliviousness of those still controlled by sports. They will learn someday. We can be sure of that for the competitive burnt out athletes that sell their souls. But we must fight, word? This is the 'politically correct' version of the Sports Suck! logo, generously submitted by Ray. Resistance against sports hegemony, and the fist! As Jurgen says, 'Shit, I'll play every sport, even fisting!' Ohhh gross, I apologize. Sports mentality is beginning to tremble, in this utopian view of non-hierarchical entertainment.


Here you see some football players with some problems. We assume their problems come from sports. PLAY SPORTS! (and await death)