Letters to the Editor


PRINCE DEFENDS HIS INVENTION

To the Editor:
I take exception to the recent editorial in The Blade, "Unsafe at Any Speed," which alleges that my directional compass is the greatest danger to Barsoomian motorists since green men began carrying radium rifles.

The unfortunate mishaps which you unfairly allude to were entirely the fault of unscrupulous conspirators and were in no way reflective of the device's performance in the field. Furthermore, I resent the implication that funding for the invention came about because of my father's position. I demand a retraction.
Sincerely,
Carthoris

WRITER OPPOSES DEMOCRACY

Sir:
I must disagree with this latest proposal calling for democratic elections in Helium. The thought of televised debates, "photo-ops" and other disagreeable electioneering just smacks of heresy. What is wrong, I ask you, with a benevolent monarchy such as the one that has worked here for 10,000 generations?
Tardos Mors

BRA wants no restrictions

To the editor:
The Barsoomian Rifle Association is disturbed by the latest proposals for limiting access to handguns. There is absolutely no need to wait a full minute to purchase a radium pistol. When you need a weapon, you need it NOW! When will these bureaucratic ulsios realize that?
Bubba Blortas

KALDANE SEES DISCRIMINATION

Gentlemen:
They say discrimination no longer exists in Helium, but I'm here to tell you that it does.

I recently tried to get a table at "21," but was told none were available. What a crock!

I was about to leave when a red man and his princess were seated immediately. Needless to say, I detached myself from my rykor and created a near-riot by prancing about the dining room until I was finally given a table and big honking platter of raw ulsio, which was quite tasty, by the way.
Ghek

BEING JED IS LIKE A WARM BUCKET OF SPIT

Sir:
You'd think that being Jed of a fine city like Lesser Helium would be a great and satisfying job. It isn't.

You don't get the glory, or the chicks, unless you're a full-blown Jeddak. And the old man is only 703-years- old, so I've still got a couple centuries to wait before he kicks off and leaves me with the title. A warm bucket of spit has more fun than a Jed.
Mors Kajak

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