War is imminent, of course.

The shocking revelation came during the trial of Earthman Elmo Lincoln, who is accused of stealing panties from the female slave quarters in the Warlord's palace.

Lincoln, a commoner from a Jasoomian country called "New Jersey," testified from the Pedestal of Truth about multiple rendezvous with the Princess Tara.

"Everybody who comes to `dis planet gets to sleeps wit' da royal broads," said a grinning Lincoln. "It was my turn."

A palace spokesman dismissed Lincoln's claim as "an outrageous lie, an alibi to escape the theft charge.

"But he'll be excuted, anyway," the spokesman added.

The Barsoomian Blade obtained proof of the royal hanky-panky _ a picture of the pair after one of their escapades.

Tara's husband, Gahan of Gathol, was outraged when shown the photograph.

"This means war," Gahan declared. "We invade New Jersey tomorrow."

The Jeddak of Helium, Tardos Mors, vowed to investigate John Carter's hiring of a fellow Jasoomian.

"I thought I'd give the poor slob a job," John Carter said. "He just arrived here. Naked. And he can't even sak."