Xavier's Helmet

Xavier glares with growing desperation as the retrieved items are drawn from the sack. As the last item is withdrawn, his eyes fire up with suppressed emotion:

"Vhere is my helm? Vhere is my f***ing helm for Rodengast's sake? Der rest of the armor is of no consequence! But der helm, der helm, it is the last relic of 200 men of my order. Do you realize the importance of that piece of armor? It is all I f***ing have to remember them by. My brothers died by treachery."

Xavier's body trembles with emotion:

"It is no soulless tin pot for der head. It bears the eagle, the crest of my order. A great man granted it to me on his deathbed, the greatest man I ever knew. He vas a Pater, who took the place of one of blood who turned against me. He saved the soul of the dispirited youth at the age of 14 who stands before you now. He gave me the brothers of Rodengast, who became my family lost to me. That some whoreson Nyemetz wears his helm sickens me beyond anything. I vill not be leaving this city, I swear upon my grave, until that helm rests upon my head."

Bennett looks at Xavier with wide eyes:

"Okay then, buddy. I'll see you later. If you wanted to get killed for a hat, I won't go for that. We'll get it back eventually, as the freedom of Pardubtize is certainly a goal we will be trying to achieve, but I was willing to leave Retribution and Zsolt's shield and sword behind, and those have similar emotional attachments to me. I will not accompany you just to retrieve your helm. Perhaps Winnacer will. He doesn't seem to want to leave town anytime soon."

Aneira looks at Xavier in disbelief:

"You have to stay here because of a thing! You must be joking. Is it magical? Can you not fight without it?"

She shakes her head at the warrior in dismay:

"You would risk your life for a mere helm?"

Bennett nods at Aneira's comments, but doesn't say anything further.

"It is all dat remains of them, one small relic of them and my order," the Saxon continues. "It was all that vas wretched from the ice of Lake Roga, that and my worthless hide. Luther, a footsoldier, cut the straps from the armor that was dragging me below the ice. Luther, the Bohavian patriot, that wretched my sinking body up out of the ice by the visor of that same helm. Luther, the man who recruited me to the cause of freedom, to a country not mine. The poor bastard, taken by the marsh fever, not three months ago. Der bloody helm is all I have left of my past. The only damn material thing of 16 years service to my now extinct order. Do you have any idea vhat vas lost dat day? The only damn family I had!"

Aneira snarls suddenly:

"Family."

Never being one to want to belabor a point, she makes it simply by picking up a flagon and smashing it into the nearest wall. Her hands are shaking as she regains her self-control. Moving as far from Xavier and Bennett as possible in the room, she takes another seat and stares at nothing.

Yaz's face contorts and he points at the priestess:

"Yo. If he needs the helm he needs the helm."

Xavier starts to froth at the mouth, his body shaking with anger, tears rolling unashamedly down his face:

"A f***ing thing!? A f***ing THING!? Mein Gott, by Rodengast, if you were a man I would strike you down this instant! You are an idiot! Do not dare to tread so heartlessly upon my memories, fraulein. It is no mere trifle, this helm. Through it does the memory of 200 of my brave brothers ride vith me, until I join them in Rodengast's hall."

Aneira rises to her feet and throws back her chair:

"I'd like to see you try."

Her voice is low and deathly calm.

Bennett stands up:

"Calm down, Xavier. I won't have you talking to a lady like that. You are a knight, man! Buck up! She's not an idiot for not understanding your attachment to a helmet. Threaten her again and you'll find yourself dealing with someone more your size."

He seems roused from his gloom.

Aneira looked at Bennett almost angrily:

"I can fight my own battles. I have no need of your protection."

Bennett looks at Aneira, a brief confused look passing quickly:

"Sorry. I thought..... Never mind."

"Bloody hell!!!!" Padre Kokal bursts out, glaring at Aneira, Bennett and Xavier. "Are ye all insane? Even with all the carnage and gore we've just been through, are ye all so itchin' fer another fight that in place of the damned Nyemetz y'll go so far as t'openly challenge the Church of War-- 'specially when ye 'o are supposed t'be comrades in arms?"

Bennett returns the Padre's glare:

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't challenge anyone, nor did Aneira. Xavier threatened her and I informed him what the ramifications of that threat were. I don't recall anyone asking for your damned input!"

"Fortunately, I don't require ye permission," Kokal scowls. "An' if ye truly thought Xavier's anguished words a threat, then ye are a bigger fool than I 'ad thought. 'E is a knighted warrior of Radegast, an' never would 'e strike down a true comrade. If ye were as close as ye claim, ye'd 'ave known it."

Bennett, clearly becoming angrier and angrier at the Padre:

"They were a threat, you idiot. You said it yourself. That they were misintentioned and worded improperly does not take away their meaning. I know him, better than you do from speaking with him for a week and reading from the same religious books, and I equally knew he would not perform violence on the lady, but his remarks required an answer, as courtesy demands. I gave him that answer, peacefully, and your intrusion was unnecessary, serving only to inflame tempers and your own ego!"

"By th' gods, ye truly are as much danger t'yeselves as t'anyone else," the Padre responds. "Damned fools! Openly challenge Radegast's faithful -- surely a mark of the wise."

Bennett shakes his head:

"I'm not sure what conversation you were listening to, nor what in the hell makes you think you have the right to interfere in it in the first place. Xavier is my brother in arms, more than any here. He made a mistake, and I informed him of that mistake. Your intrusion is unnecessary and unwelcome."

"T'you I'm sure it is," Kokal growls back. 'As ye say 'e is to you, so is 'e t'me -- more so as we are brothers in our faith. ye 'informed' 'im of 'is mistake did ye -- bah ... ye threatened 'im for it. P'raps ye know no other way, but no priest of my order will stand idly by while another of us 'as that thrown at 'im."

Bennett laughs in the priest's face:

"You are more his brother than I? You who have never faced an enemy at his side, never protected his back, or had him protect yours? Bah! You are as much his brother as the chair he sits upon, related through proximity and nothing else. I have honestly threatened him once, and he recognized it and made me recognize it as well. You speak from ignorance and hostility, and believe me, I know of what I am speaking!"

Turning on Xavier the Padre continues:

"Not that we've accounted ourselves much better, 'course. Sir Xavier, 'til now all I 'ave seen ye do 'as filled me with pride at it bein' done by one of our faith. But Radegast cannot abide in 'is soldiers such a wanton lack of discipline that allows emotion t'move ye t' threaten a comrade at its whim. Do not soil ye faith, honor an' title -- or more sorely tempt His wrath an' disfavor-- by lettin' such 'appen. 'Ow can ye expect these two t'now trust ye on the field knowin' that somewhere in ye might lie such things?"

Bennett looks with equal distaste at the Padre rebuking Xavier, but does not respond, though he is sorely tempted to.

"An' as fer you two," Kokal scowls as he turns to speak AT Bennett and Aneira, "though it is -- or should be.. ."

He throws another quick, hard glance at Xavier:

".. . abhorant t'our Church that we would take up arms against our supposed allies, no follower of Radegast can honorably back down from such challenge as ye two 'ave put t'Xavier. So if ye be earnest in wantin' t'fight us -- an' I do mean US, fer I will stand with Xavier -- then throw the gauntlet again NOW, an let's be on with it. Else still ye rash, hot an' foolish tongues an' let us all get back to fightin' the REAL foe... before we ALL regret it."

Bennett steps directly into Kokal's face, inches away:

"You are insulting me, and you have done nothing to prevent me from making you pay for it. If my brother insults me, I talk with him about it, as he has fought at my back and protected me, and I him, on numerous occasions. You have not done any of that. I did not challenge anyone, and did not speak to you, but if you desire a fight, you have come to the man who will oblige that desire."

Bennett raises his voice above the calm anger he has expressed to one of blatant hostility:

"What right? What right do you have to insult me, or Aneira, or Xavier for that matter. A foolish pretend warrior cloistered in his temple while real men fight about him, who only joins the team when the battle is already in progress. Speak not in such fashion to me again. I only hold my hand now in respect of my brother, whose faith you share, and that is not something that will last much longer."

"I shall speak as I see fit, an' ye cannot intimidate me" replies Kokal, taking one step back, either to have more room to go for a weapon or just to get out of Bennett's breath, but keeping steady eye contact.

Bennett laughs again:

"Me, intimidate you? When you speak so brazenly of assaulting me for speaking honestly with my sword-brother? Mayhap if you listen to yourself, instead of glorying in the sound of your voice, you will realize the stupidity of that statement."

"My past, Radegast's faith, or any of it's dictates, 'parently can be added t'th ever-growin' list of things that I can see ye know nothin' of," the Padre replies. "If y're insulted, at least ye well deserve it."

"What care I for your religion? Or your past?" asks Bennett. "You are not my brother, nor have you fought at my side. Religion is the opiate of the masses, a good man once said. Am I supposed to respect you for your faith? Any one of the Nyemetz believes as strongly in theirs. Faith does not earn you respect, as the evil Priest of Dobroushka proved out. Whether I deserve to be insulted or not, you are not worthy to insult me, so it matters not."

Bennett's anger has faded now to incredulity.

"An' I'll not fall t'ye pathetic attempt t'put the blame fer ye own dumb threat on me an' then make me guilty of th'same by strikin' at you now," the Padre continues. "But, as I said, 'ere I stand, so if ye want t'ave at it, come ahead -- an' prove me right all along despite yer ignorant denials."

Bennett shakes his head, with one of Winnacer's patent pitying smiles:

"You are perhaps more insecure even than I was when I joined the group. I hope that you learn, as I have, that big words mean nothing if they are not backed by action. Your insults, condemnation, and threats mean nothing to me. You are less than insignificant."

He laughs harshly and moves away.

Aneira looks at the Padre in disbelief:

"He wanted to fight me, you idiot. Did you not hear him? He only pulled back because of my gender. That's bullshit. He insults me and you accuse me of trying to attack him! As for Bennett, he joined of his own accord. I neither asked for nor wanted his protection. Keep in mind the fact that I did not start this attack. I asked a question. Xavier answered with a threat. So don't blame ME for this conflict."

Aneira actually glares at the Padre:

"And I am not afraid of either of you, or both of you if you can only hunt in packs."

Aneira stands, eyes gleaming ferally at the Padre. She does not go for her mace, but is wearing her chain mail:

"I did not ask for this fight, Kokal, no matter how you try to twist the circumstances. But neither will I back down from it. I am not afraid of death. My purpose is fulfilled. Kurtek is dead. I can die happy now if it is my time."

She stands proudly befor Xavier and Kokal. Neither allying with nor standing against Bennett.

"Sir Xavier is not without fault in this, an' I 'ave said as much," Kokal replies. "But 'is threat -- such as it was -- came purely from his grief, p'raps ill-placed, over 'is loss. Ye should 'ave seen that. So also should ye 'ave seen Bennett's come from good intent an', jus' maybe, from his own emotions. Does Zima not grant her priestesses th' wisdom t'see such thins?"

"Do not be telling me what I should or should not have seen, Priest of War," Aneira retorts. "You are fine at making excuses for those you agree with, and it seems easy for you to call those that disagree foolish. We all have losses and griefs we must live with. A moment ago you were threatening me and Bennett. Now suddenly, Bennett is sorely wronged. You are all 'men' of war. I am of Winter. The cold that lulls you to a quiet grave. The wolf that rends your flesh. The whisper of snow on your roof. The cool breeze that marks the end of Autumn. What Zima teaches me is none of your concern. She does not teach me to try and bully those that disagree with me."

Bennett turns from his own angry confrontation with the priest, his eyes wide. He is obviously surprised to hear so much from Aneira. He opens his mouth as if to say something to her, but shuts it again as the Padre returns fire. He seems distracted from the argument, something that is very peculiar in him.

"I 'ave no doubt, Aneira, that ye could more than 'old ye own if we are t'come t'a fight 'ere," the Padre replies. "I 'ave seen ye in battle an' Bennett as well. Maybe all of us would meet our gods if it comes t'that. But there is more t'such thins than just bein' ABLE -- ye must also know th' who an' when. P'raps y'are lost on this since ye greatest enemy is now gone -- I can understand that -- but d'ye truly think ye allies t'be the right t'take 'is place?"

Xavier's eyes raise from the floor. He looks into the face of Aneira:

"Fraulein, please accept my apology. You vould not understand the importance of dat vhich I have lost. I should not have been so hasty in losing my temper. You obviously understand the weight of grief. Der helm, in itself, is nothing to those who look upon it. To me, it is more valuable than any worthless magical item. It is a symbol, a relic to 200 brothers who died under my command....My vords, my command, sent them to their deaths...From der Ice vas I dragged, but behind did I leave many who I loved as family. It is all dat remains of them, except their screams in my head as they drowned... So forgive me this outburst. Healing may you find now, for the source of your grief is dead. For me the grief remains, the unavenged ghosts of my comrades still await me in Rus."

Aneira falls silent, ignoring the Padre and turning to Xavier:

"My apologies, Xavier. I showed a terrible lack of control."

"Again, you seem to feel that I am starting a fight," Bennett continues to Kokal. "I am simply defending myself if it should come to that. It is easy for you to tell me to back down. Tell your friend to back down. I have drawn no weapon and have offered up no attack save cold words. You cannot have it both ways, Kokal. You cannot threaten me in one breath, then chide me for defending myself in the next. I will start no war with you nor Xavier. Nor have I any wish to. But I will defend myself if either of you should attack me. And I fear no person here."

Bennett's eyes widen even more, perhaps more than any of them have ever seen, and a smile touches his lips.

"No, th'first blow 'ere was not yours, but Xavier's -- an' I 'ave not said it to be right 'ad ye listened," The Padre replies. "I made ye no 'threat', but only answer'd t'th one I 'eard ye make t'Xavier as I am ever bound t'take up fer a comrade -- even would I do so fer you, whether ye choose t'believe it or no, priestess -- who 'as not come to th' threat dishonorably. An' surely must I do so fer another of Radegast's devout," the Padre replies calmly. "It seemed t'ME that ye an' Bennett were only too willin' t'leap t'arms over a 'threat' from Xavier that no one 'as strong an' secure as ye claim t'be could e'er 'ave thought t'be real. After all ye 'ave all been through, 'as no one earned even th'benefit of th'doubt?"

Bennett's smile fades away somewhat, and he looks at the Padre curiously:

"Yes, he has earned that right, but you have not. No one 'leapt to arms' as you so foolishly claim. Xavier and Aneira had a disagreement, which Xavier has wisely ceased arguing about, recognizing his error. Our group, more or less, is like a family. At least I like to think it is. We fight, argue, overreact, and make mistakes. You were the one that brought up combat, no one else, and from a stranger, that's a threat, not a mistake. You are out of your place, and you should attempt to find that place before continuing on with this idiocy."

Aneira sighed wearily:

"No one leapt into anything. I merely rose to my feet and said that I was willing to fight, should Xavier be willing to attack. I made him no threat, I drew no weapon. I cast no spell. How this is any less honorable than you leaping to his defense over my statement, I cannot see. And, I am not responsible for Bennett's actions. He must answer to his own. You never said that Xavier made the first wrong. You mentioned that he was also wrong and then placed the blame upon me for not understanding his pain. You continue with your veiled insults trying to imply now that I am weak if I listen to a man who tells me, 'if you were a man I would strike you down this instant!' and do not take that as a threat. I have known none of you very long, and I took that as both a threat and as an insult. Not to mention being called an idiot. I tell you what, Kokal. I will give someone else the Benefit of the Doubt when one of you does the same for me. That hasn't happened yet."

"One other small point."

Aneira's voice becomes icily chill:

"The war, as far as I'm concerned, is over with Kurtek's death. And none of you are obligated to escort me to Olmutz. I traveled for six months without you, until my meagre funds ran out. I am not afraid to do so again. You owe me nothing. I owe you nothing."

Aneira remains standing, facing off now against Kokal, Xavier, and Bennett. She still makes no move to either go for a weapon or to cast a spell.

Bennett looks at her, his smile faded away quickly. He maneuvers distinctly so as not to be part of the group she has taken offense at. Speaking, almost pleading, his voice is gentler than any can remember. His argument with the Padre, however fierce, is forgotten at Aneira's words:

"I owe you, lady. I owe you a great deal, and that debt will not disappear by you dismissing it. I will, unless you refuse me, travel with you to Olmutz. I see you need no escort, nor do I wish to 'use' your talents, but I would accompany you all the same, if you would have me. If I haven't made it clear enough, I very much would like to be your....friend."

He speaks that last with head bowed, no longer looking at her.

Bennett's words pierce Aneira's fading anger, making her appear distinctly uncomfortable:

"All debts were paid with Kurtek's death." she finally says.

Then she falls silent.

Bennett murmurs quietly:

"Not all debts can be paid back in such a fashion. I know that as well as any man alive."

He then reaches out with a rough and callused hand, briefly and faintly touching the ice maiden's cheek.

Aneira stood while Bennett touched her cheek, looking at him strangely.

Bennett watches her turn away, with a sad smile on his face, then goes back to the prior discussions.

"There are all kinds of wars, priestess," Kokal says, wearily, tiring of going in circles and seeing no one seemingly intent on coming to blows after all. "An' I suppose even I must realize they can't all be fought at once."

"I 'ave said m'piece an' fulfilled the expectations of m'god as I see 'em, an' I 'ave no wish t'fight with ye 'ere, over such as this if ye don't. If ye feel that ye war 'ere is done an' ye path no lnger lies with those 'o would be ye ... friends .. in whate'er others ye may fight 'fore ye Winter ends, then I wish ye godspeed an' may ye find what ends ye seek."

Aneira nodded:

"Padre, no one here has particularly offered to be my friend. Most have only made use of my talents as their need arose. And, it has been too short a time for me, at least, to make any friends here. We have been thrown into an alliance out of circumstance, unlikely companions, perhaps even more unlikely friends. But for whose village got razed by which side, some of us would be Sylva now."

She paused:

"As I have said, I have no wish to fight you. I especially have no wish to fight Xavier. But I will not lie down and play dead for the mere priviledge of being allowed to travel with you. Although I may not be highborn, nor a fine fancy knight, I still am allowed my pride and the right to defend my honor. Just as you are. Or Xavier is. Or Winnacer, who is looking at us like we are naughty children now. For now our paths coincide. If any of us decide differently, we are all able to leave."

Padre Kokal then casts a glance at Bennett, looking for anything the warrior might add to keep Kokal from retiring from the argument.

Bennett mutters, however, as the Padre concludes:

"Still don't know where you got the idea you were who she was addressing. None of your goddamn business."

"Ye were addressing one of Radegast's order -- THAT makes it my business," the Padre replies distinctly, to point out that he obviously heard the muttering.

"My most serious business. 'Ave I more? Or are we all done actin' like mindless animals?"

Bennett shrugs:

"Well, I guess when no one talks to you, you can find a reason to talk back. I don't care for your insults, but I don't have the time or inclination to deal with you any longer. My friends and companions await."

Winnacer sits writing his letters as yet more disagreements break out amongst the party members. He places his quill down and stands to face all those embroiled in the arguing:

"Please, let us all calm down. This has not been a banner day for any of us, but it is no reason for escalating the already stressed relationships between all of us. We have a lot of things more important than staring each other down, especially if we are supposed to be heading out of town as quickly as possible. If you feel the need to yell at each other, let us at least hold on until we are out of these walls."

"Xavier, do not fret about your helmet. The markings are quite distinctive and we can inform those of the Church of Radegast about its status. They probably will not be too thrilled with the idea of the Nyemetz holding such an esteemed object. Perhaps they can arrange for it to be returned, one way or another. The souls of your lost comrades will be honored to have the entire congregation of Radegast looking for their symbol while you go on to continue to do works that reflect what they would have wished for you to do."

"Let's all get our gear ready to go. If Faewen'il wishes she can meet us at Vysoke Myto. If she wants one or us to remain behind to escort her, that would be fine as well."

Having waited until the tempers subsided to speak, Yaz now turns to Xavier:

"The only one who can get your helm back now is Maire', Xav... You'd better ask her. But, between you and me... You'd best be nice about it..."

Yaz casts a fearful glance in Fae's direction.

Xavier's voice is a husky whisper.

"Danke mein freund....der fraulein may be my only hope...."

Jihan, who has been watching the encounter silently while testing the edge of one of the glassteel daggers on a fingernail, peers over to Xavier at this point:

"What Yaz says is true, brother. If indeed the Witchfinder General here is trying to consolidate power in an attempt to regain control of the city, that building is going to be next to impossible to get into or out of without the aid of magicks of some sort. I know what it is to leave something behind that means a lot to you, but if the memory is truly in your heart, all that it represents will never be lost. Your lost brothers are a part of YOUR journeysong, and they will not be forgotten so easily. This is a day of change, for all of us. We are moving on again... I can feel the currents of it tugging at me. Saint Herman's men will not be forgotten as long as there remains one to carry the memory onwards, to pass it on to the hearts of new fighting men, for the glory and honor of Radegast. Is it your helm that will do this, or is it Sir Xavier von Trauloft? Who would carry the memory of the wisdom and kindness of your Pater then?"

The Padre then moves close by Xavier and speaks quietly and calmly to the agitated warrior, not at all concerned with anyone else hearing his words or not:

"Xavier, I think that Bennett, Jihan and Aneira have the right f'now, eh? We must not linger in this place much longer if we are to continue on the course we've all chosen. An' even if Faewen'il uses her power t'try t'find the helm, without knowin' even where t'start -- or at best guess 'avin t'try the Witchfinder Building and whatever chaos now reigns there -- you'd both just be invitin' another trip to a Nyemetz cell."

"Do not give that metal too much worth, Sir Xavier. Aneira asked ye if the helm has magic on it that makes it so valuable, but I think if it has any real power at all, ye put it there yeself with the admirable reverence for a departed comrade an' leader which honors all of Radegast's devoted. That does not leave ye with the helm."

"One day -- in the name of Radegast, a day not too far off -- by the strength in ye arm that springs from th'same forge that shaped ye remembrance of ye Pater, ye will return t'this place and reclaim it. In the meantime, could ye not keep ye noble reverence for 'is memory another place instead?" the Padre says, looking Xavier right in the eye and subtly raising his sword arm across his breast in the Radegastian tradition.

Xavier collapses down up a bench, obviously shattered by the whole saga of events of the past days. His head falls into his hands. A weak voice mumbles something unintelligible. Whether he is willing to see reason, is yet to be seen.

Jihan slowly approaches the grieving knight and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. He speaks in a bare whisper, and only those very close at hand can even hear what he says:

"Remember what you told me but a few days ago, brother? About one person not being able to do everything... About there being things too important to fight for, and things that must be left behind... About broken hearts, and wracked souls... About where self pity and self-loathing can bring you... That helm is not your heart, my brother, it is not your soul. The days are hard, and we must learn to be harder, to press beyond. Your family will never die as long as you hold them in your heart. Some filthy orog wearing your helm won't change that. It'll just give you more reason to aim low when you hack the bastard in two," he says, a slight grim smile on his lips.

"Now let us prepare for new battles, new faces, new allies, and put the past in that part of ourselves that makes us who we are, with honor and dignity accorded where proper."

Faewen'il looks up from the book she was studying; though it is simple enough to tell that she was paying more attention to the conversation than the book as she replied rather fast for one who was studying:

"As I be sayin a'fore, iffen someone wants ta stay, then they risk not bein able ta leave iffen I have ta make a..... hasty exit. Barrin no problems, I should be able ta make it ta Holitze a day or two after ye."

With that, the feisty one closes her book and then heads up the stairs towards her room.

Aneira nods, relieved:

"Good, then I will go with the others. I have no wish to stay here any longer than necessary."

Xavier, seeing her departure, rapidly follows her up the stairs:

"Frau Faewen'il, if I may have a few words. I vish to ask you a favor."

Once outside prying eyes, he puts his hand to his heart and makes a low bow:

"Fraulein, you alone are my last hope. Too often ve demand of you, but here I stand before you, ordering you not, but asking, yah even begging you, for aid in a task many see as trivial. My fears I hide not vell, as you have easily seen since ve met all those months ago. Sorcery has been a cause of much pain to me. But, alas, it is dat gift you carry that is my last hope. I could wander the streets for months trying to find my blasted helm. You could find it in an instant! Point me in the right direction, and der rest I can do. Death is preferable to seeing it corrupted by a Nyemetz whoreson wearing it. Please do not laugh this off, Faewen'il. You know the depth of my memories. The helm means much to me. As your master who taught you the art vas your mentor, he who gave me the helm vas mine. He vas like a father to me. Like you, I witnessed my mentor's death and der helm is one of the few material things left of him. Hence its value to me. So, Faewen'il, can you help? I vill be forever in your debt."

Never have any seen Xavier so humble. All traces of his teutonic pride are gone.

Faewen'il stares at him for a few moments before answering, her tone somewhat cool, but not containing any of the acid it normally did; and though he could not be sure, he thought it also contained a hint of sadness.

"I be surprised an disappointed tha ye thin I would laugh at yar loss. Has tha LawBringer so poisoned yar mind against me tha ye thin I be a cruel creature who derives pleasure from such thins?"

"Ye o all people should know what challenges I face as me power grows... an ye even swore ta watch o'er me ta make sure tha I would be saved from meself should I lose control. What sort o protection have ye offered me ta date... allowin tha lawbringer ta drag me somewhere against me own will so tha he could shame me with his lack o trust?"

"People fear me tongue an temper... but ha they ever stopped ta wonder what brins it on? I will tell ye what brins it on. People assumin they know what be best far me, people assumin tha I would laugh at parsonal loss, people tha take me spells far granted ta win battles they should na be fightin in tha farst place, people tha not allow me a day or two ta study more o tha spells they seem ta want from me."

"These be just tha icin on tha cake o tha thins tha eat at me mind an make me bitter. An tha cake itself... tha be tha power o magic."

"So yes... I will look far yar helm, an I want ye ta know tha it not be because I thin it vital ta ye bein a parson... it be because ye asked me as a parson... parhaps even a friend o sorts rather than lookin down at me as iffen I war a child. Parhaps ye will thin upon this an share it with tha others rather than stand by an watch them heap abuse on me next time."

Faewen'il then turns away from him and opens the door to her room.

"Danke, Fraulein Faewen'il," Xavier responds. "Ve both have much to learn in dis strange vorld of ours. Your vords ring true. Dat I have been lacking in your defense at times is true. But not from lack of will to leap to your side, but a perception dat such too obvious support vould not be velcome. Maybe I feel afraid to reveal der feelings of my heart. I am an old man of der sword, you a young women in the bloom of youth vith a gift vhich many fear. You portray great strength at times my lady, many know not how to relate to you. Vhich is the true Faewen'il? Der young girl, the young women, the magius? Dat is the question vhich underlines the difficulties many have in their dealings vith you. I alone have conqured my fears of thee, mein heart is stronger than my memories."

Xavier seems lost for words, as if he wants to say more, but does not know how:

"I thank you for your aid, I pledge to thee any aid I may give to thee in the months to come. I shall remain by your side vhile you do vhat you must. Der others can travel on. The dangers you face shall be shared vith me. If trouble brews, I have a contact who vill grant us aid"

Xavier heels come together, he bows like a courtier from the waist, taking Faewen'il's hand and kissing it.

Faewen'il allowed him the kiss, an odd almost melancholy look on her face that disappeared quickly before he looked up at her once more. Inwardly she wondered if he truly knew what he was pledging himself for.

"In answer ta yar question sar Xavier... I be a mage farst an a woman second. Tha girl died months ago when I farst used me magic an me dagger ta help kill."

Once he was done kissing her hand, she opened the door to her room and walked inside, turning to face him once more. Intelligent green eyes stared into his.

"I bid ye goodnight sar Xavier... unless thar be other wards ye be wishin ta share."

Xavier is silent, however, and leaves the magess be in order to tell his decision to the others preparing to leave downstairs.