Disclaimer: I don't own them - Joss Whedon does. And I can make Xander see the light - this is my story!
Summary: Xander comes to a realization about Angel and Buffy.
Xander left the Bronze alone. He had told Willow and Oz he was going to find Buffy and help her patrol. He heard Buffy's laugh before he actually saw her. He stopped a safe distance from her, safely hid in the bushes around the park. He stood watching her. She wasn't alone - 'he' was with her. 'He' of course being Angel.
He watched as Angel pushed Buffy in the swing, higher and higher. She was giggling like a little girl. Xander tried to think of a sarcastic remark to say to Angel and interrupt the moment. But, something about the smile on Buffy's face, made him stop. He remained hidden instead, watching the two of them.
Xander had to admit, Buffy looked happy. He liked seeing her happy. She didn't have a lot of that in her overloaded life. Xander didn't understand Buffy's feelings for Angel. The swing slowed and Buffy jumped off into Angel's waiting arms. "How can she trust him?" Xander thought to himself.
Angel and Buffy went to sit on a bench. The night was clear, and the stars shone brightly. Angel appeared to be pointing out constellations to Buffy. Her head was lying on his shoulder. She looked...well...contented. Xander couldn't remember the last time he had seen her look happy and contented. "Dead Boy does that for her...unbelievable." He thought to himself as he continued to watch them.
Buffy seemed relaxed, as if she had forgotten she was the 'chosen one' if only for a moment. He heard her soft laughter again, she and Angel were deep in conversation. He couldn't hear what they were saying. The looks on their faces told the whole story. They hung on each others every word. Angel reached and pushed a stray hair behind Buffy's ear. Xander nearly winced at the intimacy of this small gesture.
Intimacy between Angel and Buffy bothered him - it scared him. What if they lost themselves in it, and plunged them all back into the nightmare of last year. It bothered him that she could forgive Angel so easily.
As he watched Buffy get up form the bench, he waited for the kiss, it inevitable, he was sure. But there was no kiss, instead Angel straightened Buffy's jacket collar and pulled her into a hug. Her body leaned into his returning the hug tightly.
Xander watched them break away from each other. The look in thier eyes...it dawned on him..."They really do love each other." It wasn't Buffy's hormones, or Angel's lust, as Xander had imagined. It was love, pure and simple.
With this new realization, he watched them walking away, he could hear them now. "Do you want me to walk you home?" Angel asked Buffy in a protective voice.
"Nah, I'm going to make a quick pass through the cemetary. You go on home. I'll see you soon." Buffy had told him as he had taken her hand in his.
"Promise." He asked and smiled at her.
"I promise. Gotta go now." Buffy said as she let go of his hand and softly brushed his cheek with her hand.
"Be careful." Angel called after her.
She had turned around rolling her eyes at him "I'm always careful." She told him softly and then she left.
Xander watched this interaction feeling somewhat miserable. "He does love her and she loves him. They are in this impossible relationship and I make it worse for her. He makes her happy, I make her feel guilty about it. This has got to stop." Xander told himself as he went to catch up to Angel.
"Angel," he called.
Angel turned around. "Xander?" he asked suspiciously.
"Yeah, it's me." Xander replied.
"You didn't call me 'Dead Boy', what's up?" Angel was still suspicious.
"I've got to ask you something. Angel, why do you love Buffy?" Xander asked slowly.
Angel hesitated then spoke "I love her because she loves me, she sees beyond the demon and she loves me! She makes my life or 'unlife' worth living. I don't know how to explain it, but I would die for her, I will follow wherever she leads me. Why?"
"Because, I'm trying to understand Buffy's feelings for you. I don't like making her unhappy. Thanks, Angel." Xander told him as he turned to catch up with Buffy.
"Your welcome, Xander." Angel replied slightly confused.
Xander found Buffy in the cemetary. "Xander, why are you here?" she had asked smiling.
"Just thought you might want some company. How's it been tonight?" he asked her.
"A nice night, slow," she replied.
"Buffy, I need to ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Why do you love Angel?" he asked softly.
"Why do I love Angel?" she replied softly, then continued."Well, because my stomach does that butterfly thingie whenever he's around, because my heart jumps to my throat whenever I hear his voice unexpectedly. Because he makes me happy, we aren't ever going to be the traditional happy couple, but the way he makes me feel, I'll take whatever I can have with him, for as long as I'm allowed to have it."
Xander thought a moment, then spoke "Buffy, I'm glad he makes you happy. I'm glad he's in your life, he does love you. I know that now."
"Whoa, where is Xander? What have you done with him?" Buffy teased her friend.
"He's right here, he decided to be a real friend," Xander said as he hugged her.
"Thanks" she whispered in his ear.
"It's nothing. Let me walk you home."
The two friends left the cemetary, one a little wiser and one a lot happier.