Disclaimer on part 1
Part Three
She stopped talking and looked at her blood soaked wrists. He had done so much for her. Fed her and let her stay with him. Even put up with her bad attitude and desire to die. At first, she had thought that he only did it because he felt obligated to her since he had once been her friend.
"What do you mean?" she whispered.
"I care if you live or die. Willow, you are the only friend I have left. I tried having relationships in LA, they couldn't live up to what I had here."
"Yeah, a girlfriend and no sex doesn't usually work well." She muttered.
"That wasn't it. I could have slept with any of the girls, but I didn't want to."
"What do you mean you could have slept with them? Did you want to lose your soul?" She asked confused.
"No, I have a permanent soul."
"How? Does Buffy know?"
"When I got out of hell it made it permanent, I don't know how. Yes Buffy knows, that's why she kicked me out of Sunnydale."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"That fight we had wasn't about me being overprotective like she told you. She wanted a relationship with me and I was over her. When she found out I couldn't lose my soul she wanted us to be together, but I didn't. I was willing to be her friend, but she would have none of it." Angel admitted.
Willow looked at him differently than before. He was actually in the same position she was. Friendless and loveless.
"I'm sorry I didn't know." She murmured.
"So you can see why I care about you. You are all I have."
They looked at each other and had an understanding. They needed each other.
"So no more trying to kill yourself okay?"
"Agreed."
"You can stay here until you want to leave." He told her and stood up from where he had been sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Your inviting me to live with you?"
"Yes. I checked out your old apartment and I don't think you really want to go back there so I picked up your things tonight. Their in on the couch."
"Thanks."
Willow and Angel slowly developed a close friendship. They could talk about anything, except the night Oz died. Some nights Willow would wake up crying and screaming, Angel would try to comfort her but found it nearly impossible. Eventually she would relax and go back to sleep, but her screams haunted Angel for hours afterward.
One night they were especially bad. Her cries bounced off the walls around noon. Angel threw off the covers and hurried into the room.
"Willow! Willow wake up. You're dreaming again." He said.
She moaned and sat up straight.
"Are you all right?" He asked kneeling down and patting her back.
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
"You have to talk about this." He said knowingly.
"No I don't." She said laying back down while wiping tears from her eyes.
"Have it your way." He mumbled.
"Hey I found your picture of Oz in the trash. I guess it fell in or something." Angel said one night as they were getting ready to eat.
"Oh. That's because I put it there."
"Why?"
"Because if I get rid of it I won't have and reminders of what happened."
"You can't just forget what happened that night." Angel said handing her the picture.
"Yes I can and I intend to."
"Why."
"Because I killed him." She said quietly.
"What?"
"I killed him," She screamed, "I killed him. Are you happy that you know that?"
"I don't understand, I thought some vampires got him."
"They did, but I let them."
"I . . ."
We were having a picnic in the park and it got dark. So we packed everything up and started home when I remembered that I left my sweater. It was my favorite sweater. The blue one with little red buttons on it. He knew it was my favorite so he went back for it. I told him not to. I said we needed to get home. He didn't listen. I watched as picked it up and shook it out. Then he came back to the van and started to get in. I thought everything was all right. Then they grabbed him. He caught hold of the steering wheel and my hand. I held on and tried to pull him in. It didn't work. One of them reached up and snapped him neck. His grip loosened and he slipped out of the van to the ground. All I could do was scream. They laughed at me and reached for me, but I fended them off with a stake and some holy water. They ran away and left me all alone with him. He was dead. I pulled him into the car and drove him to the hospital, but he was dead. I let him die. I could have done something." She cried.
"Oh." Angel whispered touching her shoulder.
She sobbed loudly and wrapped her arms around him. He rubbed her back as she cried into his shoulder. She seemed so frail though he knew she was very strong. Slayer strong.
"It'll be all right. It wasn't your fault. You did what you could." He said .
She pulled away and looked at him.
"I killed him. If he hadn't gone back for my sweater he would be alive."
Then to both their surprises he leaned forward and kissed her. Just lips, gently.
"What was that?" Willow asked wiping her eyes.
She could still feel his lips on hers.
"I think it was something that shouldn't have happened." Angel said pulling away from her.
"You're right. It shouldn't have happened. We. . . we are friends and nothing more. Right?" Willow said wiping her eyes.
"Yeah. Something like that." Angel said with a confused look on his face.
They both nodded and sat there for a while trying to work things out. Then Angel took her hand and led her to his bedroom. She looked up at him scared and unsure.
"Nothing like that. Just lay down. We can share the bed and not do anything." He said touching her face ever so gently.
She nodded and climbed into bed. It was a small bed and quarters were a little cramped when he climbed in. They lay there each trying not to touch the other. Finally Angel sighed a non-breath and rolled toward her. Carefully he slipped an arm around her waist. She sighed happily and scooted back to him.
"No more nightmares." He whispered before they both fell asleep.
She woke and at first wondered where she was. Then she remembered. Angel. It had been such a long time she had been in the arms of a man. So long since anyone had kissed her.
Angel opened his eyes in the darkness. Something told him she was awake, but he didn't want to move. Her fire colored hair was in his eyes. She smelled so nice. Like strawberries or wine. He couldn't decide. It was pleasant to have someone in his arms again. Especially someone like Willow who fit so perfectly.
>
"Are you hungry?" He asked quietly.
"A little."
"You smell nice."
"Thanks."
"Come on we gotta get up." He said rolling over and out from under the covers.
Willow sighed knowing he was right. Reluctantly she sat up and climbed out of bed. She pitied Buffy then. For never knowing what it was like to wake in the arms of this man. But that was her own fault.
Angel got dressed and went out to get her something to eat. He did this every night. He would go out and steal his own dinner, then he would stop buy McDonalds, Burger King, or a Chinese place that was recently put up. They rarely left the apartment. Neither cared for the outside world. Willow did her nightly work out and checked her weight on the scale in the bathroom. She seemed to be in top condition.
Then the night went askew. Angel came back and said that a semi fancy restaurant in town called the Midnight Place wasn't crowded.Willow agreed to go and so they went.
It was a nice place and Willow was having a good time when she saw someone she knew.