Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of BTVS. They are owned by Joss Whedon and Co.

Summary: This is Angels POV on the scene between he and Buffy in "Beauty and the Beasts"

I hate what I have become, I am confused and hurting or scared all the time. I'm pacing in front of the fireplace, I hear footsteps. I go to the curtain and pull it back. I jump slightly, its Buffy. "Its just me" she says quietly with that look on her face. The look she has when she is here is indescribable, its a mixture of pain, quilt, pity and some fear thrown in to. I hate seeing her like this. She hands me a brown bag "Here" she says softly.

"Just me" I think to myself "If only she knew how much seeing "just her" meant to me." I turn my back to open the bag, I already know whats in it- blood. She has been bringing me blood. She's trying so desperately to help and she doesn't know what to do. And I am no help. I don't know what to do either.

She asks "How are you feeling?"

"It hurts..." I say knowing she already knows that, not wanting to hurt her more I add softly "less."

"Good" she says and I think she is going to leave. But she stops and hesitantly says "I haven't told Giles or the others that your back."

"Giles" I say out loud. I can't imagine the depth of his hatred for me. I killed the woman he loved and then tortured him. More pain I have to live with.

"They wouldn't understand that your...better." Buffy is saying. I think to myself "Better, I don't know if thats possible. I don't know what I am."

She keeps talking "And I'm gonna keep on helping you get better. It's just that everything is different now" she says quietly.

"Everything is different now. Shes got that right. Except that as confused as I am, I know I still love her. I know she's will help me, shes my Buffy."

She continues "I'm a Senior now. I'm really working harder in school, I'm even thinking about college."

I knew all along that she could do anything she wanted, if she put her mind to it.

Then she says something that makes me turn around and face her, evidently too quickly because she steps back, I see her fear. She's scared of me, that hurts.

I heard her she said "I'm involved with someone" I can't believe what I've heard. Her jacket collar is turned under, I reach to fix it for her. I turn my back to her again, she continues to talk. She's found someone else, well why wouldn't she, after all that I've put her through. How could she have ever loved me anyway? But the pain is still there, my Buffy, is with someone else now. I turn away from her again.

"His name is Scott." she says "He's a nice solid guy. He makes me happy...and thats what I need. Someone I can count on." she finishes in that soft hesitant voice.

"Well, thats that. I hope this Scott makes her happy. She deserves that, she deserves that and more. My Buffy deserves to have someone she can count on." I think to myself, trying to be unselfish, but the truth is it hurts more then anything when it finally dawns on me, I say it out loud softly after she leaves, the sad truth -"She's not mine, anymore."

The End