"Makin' Whoopee"
A badfic written by MmeFleiss .
All characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
Warning: Characters in this story swear, act OOC, and have a
huge obsession with Wal-mart. Don't say I didn't warn you :)
*********************************************************************

Akane Tendo took a final glance at the mirror, smoothing down the red
dress she bought on sale at the new Wal-Mart for a thousand yen. She
ran a hand through the nice, small embroidery at the edges of the
dress, wondering how many hours it took some kid in one of those
underdeveloped countries to make them.

She shook her head. "I have to stop thinking about such trivial
things and figure out how I'm going to tell Ranma that I love him,"
she said out loud to herself since nobody else was there.

Akane then moved her hand up to her lip, pleased by the swollen,
just-kissed look it radiated like in the movie she saw the night
before. It better be, too, since it took her an hour to catch the bee
needed for the effect.

She walked downstairs, counting the twelve steps along the way. She
looked up and blushed as she caught sight of her fiancé since it was
how everyone expected her to react(though why, she didn't quite know.
He didn't look *that* good. Personally, she thought Ryoga would look
better in the tux).

Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt Kasumi smack her upside the
head. "What did you do that for?"

"Bitch, don't you know this is a waffy Ranma and Akane story? You
can't say those things about Ryoga here!"

"I didn't say it out loud. If you weren't so busy checking out
Mr. Saotome's ass , you would have noticed."

"Oh my."

Akane rolled her eyes and headed for the door. She ignored the black
stiletto fuck me shoes that Kasumi had laid out and opted for the
orange shoes with the big shiny bow on top instead. She smiled at the
thought of all the money she saved by buying them at Wal-Mart 'cause
of the huge sale they have going all week long.

She wore the complimentary underwear that came with it, knowing
that it would excite the hentai readers. She wisely didn't say this
aloud, though, lest she wanted her older sister to kung-fu her ass.

Akane decided that the underwear wasn't a good idea a couple of
minutes later. The stupid lace was itching like crazy and Ranma kept
giving her weird looks for scratching down there.

She glared at him. "Look, I don't make fun of your B.O., so don't you
dare say a word about my choice of underwear."

He opened his mouth as if to retort, but another glare that would
have made even Mihoshi cringe shut him up.

The glare turned into a smile as she caught sight of their
destination. Was there anything dreamier than the sight of Wal-Mart
in the distance? She quickened the pace until her breathing was
similar to an asthmatic trying to run a marathon.

She could feel the pull of the sale sign urging her forward, and she
licked her now painfully swollen lips in anticipation.

She slowed down a bit as she caught a whiff of Shampoo's cheap
cologne, but a quick look up showed her that it was only Ranma. She
wondered if she should stop and make a big deal of it, this being a
Ranma and Akane fic and all; but it *did* cover up the aforementioned
B.O. quite nicely, and besides she was in no mood to turn the story
into a sadfic or a darkfic at the moment since those tend to run for
quite awhile and she really didn't want to miss a second of the week-
long sale.

She ran even faster, but was cruelly stopped by Hiroshi(or was it
Daisuke? She could never tell them apart) who was blocking the door.
"Hey! Get out of the way!"

Hiroshi(or Daisuke) looked up wearily. "Sorry, I've just been so
tired ever since I started working at this store. The extra fifteen
percent off is nice, but it's so tiring. Do you know that I haven't
thought of naked chicks in weeks?! Do you?! It can't be healthy."

Meanwhile, Akane was looking at him with sparkly eyes like she've
been crying. Except she wasn't. The moment the words "extra fifteen
percent off" came out of Hiroshi's(or Daisuke's) lips, she knew that
she was in love.

No words were needed as she ran up to him, their lips colliding like
two asteroids in the night. Both briefly wondered if there was such a
thing as night and day in space, but stopped as they began to enjoy
the exchange of hundreds of germs.

Akane felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around.

"What about Ryoga?" Ranma asked.

She frowned. "You guys weren't supposed to hear that."

He shrugged. "Well?"

"I'm afraid it wasn't meant to be. How could I have even have thought
of loving someone without a discount to Wal-Mart?"

Ranma nodded, trying to hide his grin. "I see."

He then walked away whistling, thinking of the lemon scene he would
have to do with Ryoga to "comfort" him. He wondered if Ukyo would
like to join them.

The End
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Author's Notes: Yes, I know the title had absolutely nothing to do
with the story. I just like how it sounded ^_^
Please send feedback. I haven't written an anime fic in months and my
ego could really use it right now.

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