On the Net Before Christmas
On the night before Christmas, when all through
the house, not a creature was stirring, just me and my mouse.
The modem and
dialer were both working fine, I hoped my computer would soon be on line.
The
rest of the family were all >snug in their beds, While I was in front of my PC
instead.
When from the sound card there arose such a clatter, I sprang to
my feet yelling, "What is the matter?"
I moved back to windows
in less than a flash for fear the whole thing was ready to crash.
The LED
shone with a peaceful green glow, As my hard drive assured me, "It's all systems
are go!"
And then what a magical website appeared, Information and pointers
to help make things clear.
Whatever I needed, I could get extra quick, I
followed instructions to just point and click,
More rapid than zip files,
the e-mail it came. From senders and from servers with strange-sounding names. Like
Yahoo, and Lycos, Like Delphi and Pipeline, Archie or Netscape or America Online.
'Til Eudora was filled to the brim with replies I feared I'd been spammed
in the blink of and eye. But then Like a wild blizzard blown down from the north,
I saw page after page from my printer swirl forth.
So back to the internet
quickly I flew.
With a fistful of chat groups and their addresses, too.
An then, in a twinkling, I started to scan Websites and home pages from throughout
the land.
As I entered each one and was looking around, I discovered that
links to more sites could be found.
I got horoscopes, health service, fashion
tips, too. There were quotes form the stock exchange, and movie reviews!
From
forums and focus groups on car repair - To "Check Your Own Prostate!" --
I went everywhere.
Through cartoons and show tunes I happily rambled,
At Harvard I studied, in Vegas I gambled.
I visited towers from Trump to
the Eiffel, I learned how to lock, load and fire a rifle.
And having learned
that, I went on safari, Then crossed the wide sands of the great Kalahari,
The steamy rain forest, the temples of Athens, The tombs of >the Pharaohs, the
streets of Manhattan,
I visited landmarks and natural wonders, Saw polar
bears up north, koalas Down Under, Danced with Baryshnikov, sang with the Beatles,
Fly fished in Idaho, rumbaed in Rio. Ran with the bulls in the streets of Pamplona,
Had quite the adventures all the world over, There still were a thousand more places
to go.
But the hour was late, the moon it was low. Just one more inquiry
before I retired, 'Til the next thing I knew, the whole night had expired And my
family exclaimed as the morning dawned red,
"Happy Christmas to all...
Haven't you been to bed?"