In my eyes.

"Captain I can reconstruct-" "no." "There is no danger invol-" "I said no."

"Wow, that was a close one" "yeah, the captain had to stay in sickbay for a week." "Yeah.I wonder what happened down there." "Yeah" came the collective reply.

'Why did this have to happen?' she thought, 'Why me, why did this have to happen to me?!' She could only cry, yet no sound exited her throught; only tears flowed down her cheeks.She cloesed her eyes, yet all she could see was the creature clawing at her, all she could hear were her own screams and the tearing of her own flesh.The away team members had heard her screams, and had transported her directly to sickbay; because of the dimm skylight from the planet they hadn't seen the gashed on her body...'no one saw' she asured herself again, 'no one knows ecept the doctor.'

The Captains been detached lately-" "you've noticed to-" "everones noticed" "yeah, shes been like that since the away mission last mounth." "what do you think happened down there?" That guestion would circulate around 'Voyager' and eventually reached the ears of Commander Chakotay.

He'd know something wasn't right, he'd know something involving a wild animal had happened on the small planet and once again hw cursed himself again for not insisting he go.He'd tried to bring the matter up, but she'd fielded his atempts."If you stare anylonger at that plate it'll cacth fire." Chakotay jumped at B'ellanas voice chuckeling she sat down next to him."I know your worrid about what Neelisx put on your plate but eventually you'll eigther have to taste it or take it back." "Cute,very cute" "I thought so...If your that worrid why don't you confront her" B'ellana said hesitantly."What do you know about it?" Chakotay asked in a low suspicous voice."Everone knows somethings wrong" she said coutiously, "I mean shes hidden it well but-" B'ellana stopped suddenly "shes hidden what?!" Chakotay asked alittle to loudly, a few heads turned but quickly turned away from the cold obsidean of the first officers glare."Listen Chakotay," B'ellana said in a hushed voice "Do you remember what happened on the 4th moon of Sebora?" "Yes, we were intercepting a cardassien cargo barg; you were attacted by Cardassien prib dogs." "What did you notice about me after that?" "You were withdrawn, you pretended-" he stopped wide eyed,then continued softly no longer talking to anyone but himself "you pretended it never happened." B'ellan left him as she had found him, starring blankly down at his plate.


"Do you think this is wise?" Tom asked his fieance, "no, but Chakotay dosn't know how to broche the subject." "I don't think you should interfear." "Chakotay is my oldest friend...but he's also a man,therefor clueless on women." "Hey!!!"

Kathryn was releaved her duty sift was over, she could feel all there eyes on her, as if the knew the scares were there yet she knew no one had been wacthing her.The lights were nice and dimm; damm she was tempted to sleep in her uniform, atleast it covered her from neck to ankle.The door chime sounded as she was about to undress.'Saved by the bell' she thought irratablly."Come in" she ordered, and the doors opened to admitt B'ellana Torres."Lutienate" she said, "Captain" B'ellana replied respectfully, the two studied each other for a moment."What can I do for you?" Kathryn asked her "I...I wanted to know if theres-permission to speak freely" "granted" Janeway said curiously."I know what your going threw-" she stopped as the captain stiffened "Excuse me?" Janeway said in her 'strict captains voice'. B'ellana didn't back down "it's obvious atleast to me.I know it's easier to pretend it never happened-" "You know nothing!" B'ellana stepped back at the harshness of the captains voice."Yes I do." she said softly, "Six years ago, on a retrival mission I was attacked by two Cardassien Prib dogs" B'ellana saw the captain flinch slightly but continued, "I was lucky I had enough time to shield my face-" she gave a short laugh as her eyes went around the room then down to look at her hands "Atleast everyone said I was lucky, I didn't think so.All I could see were the scares all over my body.Eventhough I know they could be removed and there'd never be a trace of them again,I couldn't...that would be admitting that they were there.So everyday I pretended all was fine and worked myself to exhaustion.I would keep my quaters so dark thet I wouldn't have to see them.Every were I went I felt as if people were staring at them.I wouldn't let anyone cloes because I thought that if they lookes into my eyes, all they'd be able to see were the scars;and then they'd turn away repulsed" B'ellana looked at Janeway then, and waited for her to reply.Kathryn sat on one of the 'lounge' chairs and motioned for B'ellana to sit on the couch, once she had Kathryn spoke "What happened then?" "A women who had once been scard by a Prib dog came to see me.She adviced me to talk to someone if not her" "and?" "and, I did to a mutual friend" Kathryn knew she spoke of Chakotay, "when I had all the stupid guilt and self pity went away.I had the scars removed and got on with my life.Every once and awhile I can still see them on my body, I'd memorised each one...the only thing I feel is curiosity-" "curiosity?" "umm humm, curiosity about why I tormented my self for so long" Both women sat in silence for several moments."I need to get to Enginering" B'ellana said riseing from the couch, "Ofcourse, dismised...and that you." B'ellana smiled as she walked out the captains quaters.


Kathryn Janeway lay back in her tub, the bubles surrounding her. She lazily ran her hands over her body, fingering each ragged scar as tears streamed down her face.

Chakotay stood outside the captains door, he had finally worked up the nerve to comfront her.He pressed the chime."Come in". Chakotay walked into the barely illuminated quaters."Captain?" he said as he walked into her quaters,then stopped when she appeared in the door of her bedroom."ah...I didn't mean to interupt your bath-" "I'd just gotten out". "Oh...I wanted to talk to you" "so talk" "premission to speak freely" "granted" "I thought we were friends" "we are friends" "then why are you shutting me out?Why won't you talk to me?"he demanded."I didn't want you to be repulsed by me" she whispered."Repulsed?!" he exclaimed then walked to stand infront of her."I could never be repulsed by you," he said softly "I respect you to much...I love you to much." She looked into his eyes and untied her robe so that he could see her shoulders.Chakotay saw the ragged scars, then he leaned down and kissed every centemeter of the torn,ragged skin.She shivered at his kisses and he continued kissing every scar he encountered.He slowly adeed more preesure and carraseed her,and she begain to quake.Chakotay picked her up and carried her to the bed, then he kissed every part of the mared flesh.He suddenly rose over her and kissed her lips and her eyes; then he slowly licked away the silent tears."Don't ever dought your beautiful" he whispered against her ear, he hen kissed a path down to her thighs,and slowly her parted them, Kathryn jumped when he ran his tounge around the edges of her most sensative folds, she lost her breath as he ran his tounge along the innerfolds,and she gave a yelp as he pressed her sensative nub between his lips and tugged slightly.Useing his mouth and hands her brought her to a shattering climax.He once again rose over her,"don't ener dought your beautiful" he said against her lips then kissed her.Kathryn pulled franticlly at his cloths,desprete to remove them, he smiled against her lips,"we have time" he said."Now." was her replie to that."now" she commanded again breathlessly he smiled as he helped her remove his cloths so that they were thrown in heaps all over the bedroom."now" she whispered again, "now" he repeated softly and kissed he as he easied his body to join with hers.she groaned with the hugde feel of him, he groaned with the tight wet hot feel of her.When he was fully inside her, he looked into her glazed eyes as if asking her permission to continue, she grabbed his head and pulled his mouth to her in a feverish kiss; yet still he did not move.She moved her hips against him and gasped, "never dought you are beautiful" he said to as he started to move within her.His rythem was steady,gentle,and strong; he wacthed her as with each thrust she threw her head back and from side to side.Her breath came out in 'huffs' he was rewarded with a groan when he carressed her breast.Slowly he stroked,carrassed,and kissed her body until she let out a chocked scream.He could feel the spasm of her climax throughout his body.He quickened his pace, pulling her to him as tightly as he could.The hard pace he set caused Kathryn to expirience another climax while still in the mist of another.He looked down at her; the sight of her head thrown back,back arched,breast pushed forward while he felt her nails dragging up and bown his back.He kissed her then whispered in her ear "In my eyes you'll always be beautiful", then he shattered,yet not before he heard her say "I love you".

"Captain.I had not expected you." "I know doctor,...I'm hear about the surgery" "I'm glad to see you have come to your senses,if you agree the surgery will be done on thursday" "Thursday is fine" Kathryn said as she turned hiding a smile and walked out of sickbay.