How Can You Tell? (If You're Obsessed...)

If you’ve ever tried to channel,
Painted Dragons on wall panels,
Dreamed of walking T’A’R,
Wrote “Whitecloaks Suck” upon your car,
If you wear a stole with seven stripes,
If you play a shepherd’s pipes,
Sew patches for a gleeman’s cloak,
Or drink oosquai instead of Coke,
Then I’ve got bad news for you,
You’re a junkie through and through.

If you read the Far Snows Dance,
Or think your dice defy all chance,
If you buy a dog and name it Hopper,
Or wear a scarf and wide-brimmed topper,
Have nightmares about Tarmon Gai’don,
Go mad just thinking about saidin,
Call your girlfriend Aes Sedai,
Or wear gold contacts in your eye:
Then much as I hate to tell you so,
You’re hooked on the WoT, and it won’t let you go.

If you actually read this rhyme,
Then you’re obsessed with the Wheel of Time.
If any of it sounds like you,
You couldn’t stop if you wanted to.
Please don’t bother to deny it,
It’s better if you don’t defy it,
Just surrender to its might
And ride the madness to its height.
Join the club. Oh, can’t you see?
You’re an addict, just like me.

Raina's Hold / Raina's Library / Raina's Library - Poetry

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