|The Battle Of
The Champions - Mat vs the T-1000
by Asha'man Varel
ANNOUNCER: Welcome back to the Third Annual Battle of the Champions. Our next fight is going to be major, because we have Matrim Cauthon of the Wheel of Time going up against the T-1000 of Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Before we go to the ring, where are two combatants are heading to, let's see the prefight interviews.
[MAT'S PREFIGHT INTERVIEW]
Tuon walks up.
TUON: Marry me, Matrim.
Tuon walks off.
INTERVIEWER: We really need to put
a lock on the door to this room or something.
ANNOUNCER: A truly interesting interview. Now for the T-1000's prefight interview.
[T-1000'S PREFIGHT INTERVIEW]
ANNOUNCER: Well, Mat and the T-1000 are in the ring, so let's go there. Arnold Schwartzenegger is this fight's referee.
ARNOLD: Ah you rheady do rhumble?
The crowd cheers.
ARNOLD: Led's ged id ohn.
The bell rings.
The announcer turns on the Mindcams.
MAT'S MIND: Blood and bloody ashes!
Taim is Demandred!
Mat stands there gaping as the T-1000 punches Mat hard.
MAT: Burn me!
The T-1000 pulls out a flamethrower and tries to set Mat on fire. When the flames die down, though, Mat is unaffected.
MAT'S MIND: Now, if only those bloody
dice would stop rolling in my head...
Rand uses the OP to fling a tank of liquid nitrogen into the center of the ring. Mat leaps over onto the side where the T-1000 is, punctures the tank, then jumps away as the liquid nitrogen pours out and freezes the Terminator. Mat stabs it with the spear, and the Terminator breaks into several pieces.
ANNOUNCER: And Mat Cauthon terminates the Terminator! Stay tuned for our next fight: Nynaeve al'Meara versus the Borg Queen!