This poem was inspired by a long-standing debate
on the wheeloftime.com Book Forum. Leanna is me, Shadar the Mad is my brother
(the same one who writes Shadar's Mad Meanderings) and the others are more-or-less
frequent posters on the Forum who have spent a lot of time arguing this
However, a warning. This should not be mistaken
for quality literature. This poem is Non-Quality Literature with a vengeance!
He was driving down the road just a little too fast –
He was nudging a hundred when a sudden loud blast
From the police made him pull over in record time,
Wondering how to get himself out of a fine.
The policeman walked over and knocked at the door,
Said briskly, “Right then, and what’s your name, sir?”
“James Oliver Rigney, Jr.” “James Oliver – oh, hey!
I know that name! Oh, wow! You’re RJ!
Well, Mr Jordan, for you there’s no fine!
But could you clear up something that’s been on my mind?”
“Sure!” said RJ. “Ask away, man;
It’s always good to meet up with a fan!”
“Thank you, Mr Jordan! I’ve been reading your series
Since the first book came out, and I’ve one little query;
It’s been debated on boards and chatrooms and by e-mail;
Tell me, Mr Jordan, could a Dragon be female?”
RJ sighed, and looked glum, and said “Look, I know
You’re not going to like this – but the answer’s RAFO.”
The policeman got mad, and he started to shout,
(Cause no one likes being told to Read And Find Out)
“Come on, Mr Jordan! I let you off scot-free!
The least you can do is one answer for me!
I won’t tell you told me; I won’t breathe a word!
No one will know it was from you I heard!
Please, Mr Jordan?” Then RJ said “Well –
I do owe you a favour – so if you won’t tell -”
“I won’t, Mr Jordan! I swear by the Light!”
(Crossing the fingers of his hand out of sight)
“Yes, she could be. Remember your vow!”
“Of course, Mr Jordan. Have a nice day now!”
And that night the policeman logged on to the Net,
And at wheeloftime.com posted “Guess who I met!
The Creator, that’s who! And he told me – Oh Light!
The Dragon can be female! Those crazies were right!”
Then Shadar the Mad laughed, and Faile did too,
And Leanna said, grinning, “Well, tell us something new!
We’ve known all along that we were right.
And now we’ve got proof. Did you hear that, Dark Blight?”
Then Dark Blight and Nym, Fist and Car'a'carn as well,
Spoke up and said “Oh yes? But did he tell
You that it was likely?” Then someone neutral said “Wait!
Guys, that’s not the point. It’s over! You can stop the debate!”
But one group looked shocked, and the other even more:
“Stop the debate? But what in the Light for?”
And then, causing the other members great distress and pain,
They argued the whole thing all over again.
Raina's Hold / Raina's
Library / Raina's Library - Poems