Hi, I’m the BBS Rambler, and I ramble, you could probably have guessed that, but I told you anyway, I guess that was a silly thing to do, but well, rambling’s pretty silly too, isn’t it? So anyway, I just thought I’d ramble for a while about the Wheel of Time, and maybe other stuff as well, it all depends, although I’m not sure on what, probably on nothing at all, and if I ramble long enough you might guess who I am. Is that good or bad, do you think? I mean, you might like my rambling, and that would be good, or you might be mad at me for wasting your time, and then it’d be bad if you guessed who I was, bad for me anyway, and then you might, you might, well I’m not sure what you might do but it probably wouldn’t be good. For me I mean. And now look what I’ve done, instead of rambling about the WoT I’ve just gone rambling off about nothing, well not really nothing, rambling about rambling, would you call that meta-rambling? Or super-rambling? Or infra-rambling? Something like that I suppose, now see I’ve done it again, rambling off again, did you know that rambling roses grow in the bottom of my garden, wild ones, maybe the Dark Sisters would forgive me for all this rambling if I gave them a rose, but that still leaves the Light Warriors, do Light Warriors like roses, or just stuff like sock puppets and TurboWax, which seems a very strange thing to be obsessive about, maybe its the taint getting to them, but it can’t be, can it, because not all of them are men, and not all the men can channel, oh well, maybe they’ll be too busy hunting for their TurboWax to get mad at me, and anyway the Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills, which brings me back to the topic of the Wheel of Time which was what I was rambling about to begin with.
The most argued-about subject seems to be Taim and Demandred, so that’s where I’ll start, although I’ve already started, and indeed covered a page or so, but you know what I mean, or maybe you don’t, how would I know, indeed how would anyone know, any more than anyone knows whether Taim is really Demandred, except Robert Jordan of course, and maybe
some people at TOR, and speaking of TOR, when in the **** is that **** book 8 going to come out, excuse my language, the Longing seems to be getting to me, and there don’t seem to be any stedding around, not that there would be of course since this isn’t really the world of the Wheel, what shall we call it, Randland, or Aran’rhiod, or the Creator’s Palm, or Wheelworld, or Jordana, I really have no idea, maybe someone would like to suggest a name, if they can still remember it once they’ve gotten to the end of this ramble and maybe guessed who I am, I wonder if anyone will guess, probably not, so I’ll give you a clue, sometime during this ramble, ramble ramble ramble, sorry about that, I couldn’t think of anything to ramble about for the moment, and as you know, or maybe you don’t, I don’t know, ramblers are out of business if they stop rambling, even for a second during their ramble, so I filled it in with the word ‘ramble’, like I said, sorry about that.
So, let’s talk about the people on this BBS, or rather I’ll talk and you can listen, or read, since I can’t stop rambling to let you join in the conversation, sorry, can’t help it, it’s just rambling rules, okay, let’s start with the Dark Sisters, ‘cause they’re the prettiest, especially Ariella, and Smoke, and Sundara and Egwene2, well I guess all of them are, but I’ll start with Ariella
because she’s the oldest, and she’s the Great Mistress of the Dark, and she’s a redhead, well auburn, and I don’t know if she has a redheaded temper as well and I don’t want to find out, anyway, like I said, she’s the Great Mistress of the Dark, and she has a pet called Darkhound who I’ll talk about later, and she’s Shai’tan’s twin sister which I guess says a lot. And then there’s Smoke, which is short for Smoke Ashalen, and she’s very pretty too, but Demandred would be mad at me if I said too much about that, so I won’t, and Egwene2, there never was an Egwene1 so don’t ask, she’s also pretty, they all are, I think I said that, anyway she’s the newest Sister, but not the youngest, the youngest is Sundara, she’s a Domani, and having said that I don’t need to say she’s pretty, even though I just said it, she argues a lot with Jandor and it’s a good thing for him their arguments are over the Net, because I don’t think it’s possible to win an argument with a Domani woman if you can see her, on the basis that it really isn’t easy to argue with a woman when you’re trying to see through her dress, and now I’d better shut up about that before Eval Ramman challenges me to a duel, which he already did to Strawn, and as I recall Jhenneth, who might be the same person as Strawn, and either of them might be the same person as Blaine, or both of them might be. Life is very confusing.
Anyway, I was talking about Jandor, and that brings me to the Light Warriors, who as I mentioned before are very strange people, Agelmar used to be in charge, and wear lampshades on his head, but now he’s gone and Daylorn is in charge, I haven’t seen him wearing a lampshade yet but it’s too early to know for sure, and he just promoted a lot of people, like Kerek, he’s the one who’s strange about sock puppets, and Cerise, who’s a Blue Aes Sedai, and pretty, all the women on this BBS seem to be pretty, and Alianin, a Maiden of the Spear, ditto, and Perrin and Mordeth. You know, Mordeth is a very strange name for a Light Warrior, oh well, ‘the BBS Rambler’ isn’t much of a name either, but then it isn’t my real name, you might or not find out what my real name is later, depending on how good you are at guessing games, which is what this really is, after all. And Taim, who just joined the Light Warriors, and denies being Demandred, just like Demandred denies being Taim, so I guess they aren’t the same after all, especially since they’re on opposite sides, but you never know, that might be a ruse, and I’m not going to say what I think because then you might guess who I am, I might be one of those incredibly vehement people who insist Taim is Demandred, and speaking of Sundara, which I wasn’t, really, but it was implied, have you noticed that this is a lot like Court in Session, with you having to guess who the person with the weird alias is, so maybe I am Sundara, but then, maybe I’m not, since Smoke did the same thing with Tar Valon Tales, so I might be Smoke, except that Smoke isn’t back yet, or is she? You never know, do you?
Or I might be Darkhound. Darkhound is after all known for pranks, such as that time he rearranged his name and tried to join the Dark Sisters, and then the Light Warriors, but Mordeth guessed, clever Mordeth, I guessed too, but then I might be just saying that, or I might not, that’s something else you can’t know, until, or unless, you guess who I am, I like guessing games, and I hope you do too, because as I said this is really just a guessing game. Or I might be almost anyone else, someone I haven’t mentioned yet, like Tuon or Aemon or Haman, or Dazar, or Ishy or Moridin, who are the same person, or rather one’s the other reborn, which gets confusing, although not quite as confusing as Strawn and Blaine and Jhenneth. Or I might be one of the Dark Brothers. What, don’t you know about the Dark Brothers? Well, they’re like Dark Sisters, only male, and only one of them can channel, that’s Ceralic, who’s also a Dreamer, and has been flirting with the other Dreamer on the side of the Shadow, which is Sundara, so they’d better watch out that Eval doesn’t find out, although I might be Eval, in which case Eval has already found out, hasn’t he? Or then again I might not be Eval, I might be Tam al’Thor, who is the other Dark Brother, and a blademaster, he can’t channel, but with everyone else being able to channel it makes quite a refreshing contrast, contrast is always good, like Light and Dark, which is why neither side is ever going to win, or really wants to if it comes to that, because then there wouldn’t be any contrast.
Have you noticed how long some of my sentences are? That’s the sign of a true rambler, you see. Although Kiriath does quite well with short sentences, he used to be the King of Rambling, until Cerise showed up and rambled about Elayne and Min and Aviendha, and won the Rambling Contest, and then I showed up, although of course I might be Cerise or Kiriath, or I might be a new entry onto the scene, a brand new rambler, in which case I could be anyone, anyway I promised you a clue as to who I was, and here it is, I am someone I have mentioned in the above ramble. Although as you’ll notice if you think about it for a moment that is really not much of a clue. But it’s a challenge for you, and challenges are good for the character, so you all should have wonderful characters once you’ve guessed who I am, or gotten sick of guessing, unfortunately you might use those wonderful characters to characterfully decide to throw a cream pie at me, like happened to someone or other over in Belgium, which must have been embarassing, but then again, embarassing events are probably good for the character as well, so we’ll all have wonderful characters, so I’ll be doing a public service even if no one appreciates it, even me, in which case you might wonder why I’m rambling at all, well keep wondering, I don’t know either, maybe someone’s using Compulsion on me, or more likely it’s the stress of waiting for PoD, that doesn’t matter, what really matters is that I’ve gotten across my point, and the point that I’ve managed to get across, or at least hope I have, anyway the point I’m trying to get across to you is that THIS IS RAMBLING.

I remain, ladies and gentlemen,
yours ramblingly,
the BBS Rambler.

The BBS Rambler was eventually uncovered as Eval Ramman, and set the standards for rambling until the closure of the BBS. Unfortunately, none of his later rambles have been recovered.

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